


I'm Not Gonna Beg

by mezziedemo



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Famous Harry, M/M, Parent Louis, Parental Death, explicit content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-02-26 16:28:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 77,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2658653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mezziedemo/pseuds/mezziedemo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Harry had given him an ultimatum at sixteen – come out and be with me publically or leave now, Louis’ scared eighteen year old self had walked out.  He had meant to go back the next day -  but fate had other plans and when tragedy struck, Harry was left to think Louis hadn’t loved him enough and had left him.<br/>Now Four years later, Harry has just won X-Factor along with his One Direction band mates, Niall and Zayn.  He’s never forgotten Louis, although he’d certainly tried.<br/>A chance meeting will change everything and turn both their lives upside down when Harry finds out what happened to Louis.<br/>But is it too late for a second chance?<br/>NOTE: LOUIS DID NOT DIE!  Please give this a read!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Open Wounds

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! Chapter One - hope you like it!
> 
> As usual, it is proofed to the best of my ability - please forgive mistakes.
> 
> Let me know what you think - Kudos and Comments are so appreciated!!
> 
> Thanks for reading :) x

“Hey Lou!” called Lottie from the living room, where she was watching X-Factor. “Isn’t this your old boyfriend from school?”

“Who?” replied Louis with a mouthful of spaghetti as he trudged into the room, exhausted and just having had got Ernie and Dot off to sleep. “What are you yakking about?” he added affectionately.

Lottie pointed at the screen where the next contestant was speaking, and Louis focused his attention where she had pointed and _oh_.

Oh. He felt a blow to the gut as the wind rushed out of him.

There he was, in the flesh.

“Harry” he breathed.

Holy Shit, he was breathtaking! Well, he’d always been beautiful but, _fuck_! Louis had forgotten just _how_ beautiful. He was chatting to Simon Cowell and smiling like he didn’t have a care in the world and well, that wasn’t _fair_ really.

It wasn’t fair because just seeing him – not even in person, makes Louis think he might be dying.

Like maybe his insides have just, started leaking out of the million little wounds he thought had healed and he was surely going to die from the sheer pain that hit him when he laid eyes on the boy he’d loved forever. Well, not forever, but for _four fucking years_. Four years that have been the worst years of his life – despite containing some little moments of pure joy.

He stared at the screen, face pale, unable to tear his gaze away from the boy who had captured his heart and never really turned it. He was what - twenty now? He had grown, taller and broader, his large hands were covered in rings and he appeared to have a couple of tattoos. His chocolate curls were slightly longer and he dressed differently – less preppy, more hipster.

He catalogued the changes while acknowledging that it was the same green eyes, the same dimpled, crooked smile as those he had once known so well.

When Harry started to sing, he lost the ability to stand on his own two legs and sank onto the lounge, not able to stop looking, even though it hurt. He was enchanting when he sang – always had been. The tendons in his neck strained and he sang with such passion, such feeling, that it was mesmerising.

Louis was brought back to the present when he heard Lottie speaking his name. “Louis? Lou, Lou!”

He didn’t take his eyes from the television as he replied distractedly “what?”

“Your spaghetti!” she said, from right in front of him, where she was pointing to the spaghetti he’d let slide off the plate onto the carpet and, shit!

“Oh fucking hell!” he cried, racing to grab a cloth and soapy water.

When they got the worst of it out, Lottie looked over at him. “Are you alright Louis? You went pale when you saw Harry you just, well, you looked so _sad_.”

He looked up at the concern in her eyes and he felt such a rush of affection for his sister. They had been through so much these last four years. After their parents died, Louis became the sole carer of all six of his siblings at eighteen and he doesn’t think he’d have survived the ordeal if it hadn’t been for this amazing young girl. She was only fifteen at the time but she hadn’t hesitated to take on the mothering role, supporting him and helping with the care of her brother and sisters. Their mum had been pregnant with the younger set of twins when she died. They had been able to save the babies, although they’d been born three weeks premature. Louis still remembers how distraught he’d been in the hospital and yet, when they’d put the twins in his arms, he’d felt a calm wash over him, like he knew he had to be strong for these babies, had to get himself together. He had others to think about now.

It had been so difficult for an eighteen year old to come to terms with the fact that he could no longer be selfish, no longer think only of himself. He had to be a parent now. He’d done it though, and Lottie had been an amazing support system for him, they had been there for each other through what had been the toughest years of their young lives and they’d survived – only barely at times, but still.

He didn’t realise he’d started to cry until his vision blurred and Lottie threw her arms around him.

“Oh Lou, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise it was a big deal! I just recognised him and well…….what happened between you two?”

Louis vaguely registered that Harry had got through to the next round by the cheering on the telly and Harry’s smiling face and then he pulled back out of Lottie’s embrace to wipe his eyes.

“Don’t mind me” he said, trying to put her mind at ease “just being a bit silly – you know, nostalgia and all that!”

Lottie raised an eyebrow in a manner that screamed she’d been around Louis too much and had picked up his bad habits – before replying “after everything we’ve been through together, I’m insulted you’d lie to me Lou. Don’t feed me some bullshit about nostalgia – you went white as a sheet, dropped your dinner on the carpet and then cried! What the fuck? Talk to me!”

He looked at Lottie then, and saw a nineteen year old woman who was mature beyond her years – she’d had to be. She was no longer the awkward teen, but a confident, self-assured adult and his very best friend. She was right – she deserved the truth, always.

He sighed. “Don’t really have that much to tell, just, I loved him. I loved him _so_ much – too much, I’d thought at the time. It scared me how much I loved him.”

Lottie sat beside him on the lounge, taking his hand in hers and squeezing it encouragingly.

“He was my first boyfriend – my first everything. I was still in the closet then and hadn’t had the courage to try anything with a boy, but I was pretty sure I was gay. I was on the football team, though and I didn’t want anyone to know in case it changed anything. I spent so much time being afraid it was ridiculous!”

Lottie laughed. “I know you think you were fooling everyone Louis, but I remember thinking you were Gay long before you told me.”

“Yeah, well, to my stupid seventeen year old brain I was doing a bang up job of keeping it a secret – until Harry came along that is.”

A soft smile took over his features as he remembered their first meeting. It was at an after party for one of the finals games they’d won and Louis was high on winning and high on weed and he was bouncing around the house, life of the party, and bumped headlong into the most beautiful boy he’d ever laid eyes on.

 

_“Oops! Hello!” he smiled, all dimpled cuteness. “I’m Harry.”_

_Louis grinned. “Hi Harry – I’m Louis. How come I’ve never seen you before?”_

_“I’m a grade below you I think? Should be two but I skipped one and yeah..”_

_“So you’re smart_ and _gorgeous – lethal combination!” His inebriated brain immediately registered that he’d been careless – calling a boy gorgeous was NOT the way to keep his cover from being blown. His smile faltered just a little, suddenly uncertain._

_But Harry just smiled brilliantly back at him and answered with a chuckle and a cheeky “one you’d know all about!”_

 

“It was the first time a boy had flirted with me and I just, I think I fell a little bit in love with him right there and then, you know? He was adorable back then, all chocolate curls and twinkly green eyes. He looked at the world through rose coloured glasses, loved everything – wanted to know about everything. He had a huge heart and no fear. That’s what scared me the most about him. I lived in constant fear and he was already out, already didn’t care what anyone thought – just true to himself. I admired it so much, but I was terrified of it.”

“What happened?” asked Lottie.

“Once we collided, it was like a force of nature. We were always going to happen, there was never any question. We couldn’t keep away from each other – couldn’t keep our hands off each other. At school we didn’t hang out as much because we were in different grades, but every lunch time we’d sneak off to be somewhere, anywhere, as long as we were together. At the time, it suited me to have that distance at school – it helped to separate my straight life from the one I had with Harry. I knew deep down it wasn’t really fair, but I was so selfish and scared back then. Weekends were our time though – my God, we just spent every waking minute together.”

“I remember him being at our house constantly for like, a year, but I’d forgotten about him until I saw his face just now on TV” replied Lottie.

“Yeah, I guess we tried to cram a week’s worth of time into two days and it was always so intense, so full on. Nothing about Harry and I was normal or average. It was all just a whirlwind of feelings and emotions and hormones. We were two teenage boys who fancied themselves madly in love and it was crazy and scary and beautiful all at the same time.”

“So?” prodded Lottie “what went wrong?”

“It was just too much for me I guess. People started to comment on the fact that they’d see us around on weekends and with Harry being out, well that started the comments and speculation about me. It was terrifying. When Harry shrugged and said he thought I should just come out and that it would make things easier for us to be together, I just panicked. I’d already felt like I was barely keeping my head above water – being in love with Harry was almost too much for me, too much everything, too much lust, too much emotion, too much fear. I told him there was no way I was coming out, that I’d just deny it and we could stop sneaking off at school for a while until things died down. I pushed him away and I can still see the hurt on his face when he pleaded with me not to. In the end he gave me an ultimatum – stop hiding or leave.”

“And you left” Lottie said softly.

Louis nodded. His chest was tight as he remembered that last conversation.

 

_“If you walk out that door Lou, you can’t come back. I don’t want to hide. I want the world to know how much I love you. I’m not ashamed of us and you shouldn’t be either. I love you! But I’m not gonna beg Lou – I shouldn’t have to. You should wanna be with me, even in public. I should be enough and if you love me you should want to shout it from the rooftops, you should be proud to be seen with me!”_

_“That’s not what this is about Harry!”_

_“Then what is it about Louis? You’re just scared – you’re a coward! That’s all this is about! You’re too scared to really commit to me and that’s not fair!” Tears were streaming down his face as he continued. “So if you won’t be with me properly then go – leave and don’t come back, because I won’t do this halfway anymore Lou. I can’t.”_

 

“I just walked out Lotts” he whispered sadly “I walked out and didn’t look back. I knew straight away I’d made a mistake – planned to go back the next morning when we’d both calmed down and tell him I’d come out, that I wanted the world to know I loved him too, but then..”

“Mum and Dad” interrupted Lottie.

“Yeah, that was the night Mum and Dad had the accident.” They both fell silent as they remembered the night their lives were turned upside down.

Louis sighed. “I never got a chance to go back – and then our lives changed so drastically after that night and my grief over losing Harry was too much in addition to losing Mum and Dad, so I filed it away to be dealt with later. I ignored the few calls he made to my phone and never returned the texts pleading with me to come back. It was all just so overwhelming dealing with Mum and dad’s death and becoming a parent and just……I couldn’t cope! Guess I never really did deal with it – it was just too much with everything else. Let’s face it – I was in over my head with the whole parenting deal! Also, when we moved here to Manchester, everything changed. I bought the shop and had my hands full just surviving really – no time for regrets!”

Their parents had left them extremely well provided for – thank God! Louis had taken a big risk, buying a small house in Manchester, along with a coffee shop and moved them all there from Cheshire. He had worked so hard getting the shop going and had a thriving business today, with Lottie and his best friend Liam by his side. Liam had answered an advert for a Barista that Louis had posted three years ago and they’d been best friends ever since.

“I thought about him a lot in that first year, thought about calling him when I was struggling to cope, when I was so lonely and I wanted to hear his voice, but it hardly seemed fair. I mean, I lived in a whole other city now and Harry was only _sixteen_ fuck! – too young to burden with my chaotic life!”

He took a deep breath and exhaled with a huff. “So I tried not to think of him so often. Used to dream of him early on, but having babies in the house and suffering sleep deprivation was great for helping cure that! After that it got so hectic in our household that there wasn’t time for any wallowing or self-pity!”

Lottie looked at him sadly. “You’ve given up so much of your life for us Louis, to keep us all together. I never say thank you often enough.”

Louis smiled at her, squeezing her hand. “You’ve made all the same sacrifices Lotts. You should have been partying your teen years away and instead you’ve been on baby duty and it’s hardly fair, but I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Hey” she said quietly, bumping his shoulder with hers. “We’re a team remember? Team Tomlinson!”

His eyes misted over as she threw out the motto they’d created in the first year, when things had really been at their worst and Louis had no idea how to parent or run a business. Lottie and Fizzy had come to him and told him he didn’t need to do everything by himself – that he needed to let them help. They were a team, the girls had told him, team Tomlinson. He had been so proud and touched and had promptly burst into tears as the exhaustion had made him emotional.

“Yeah” he answered, chuckling softly. “Yeah Team Tomlinson – no stopping us eh?”

 

They both looked up at a sound by the living room door and found Ernie standing there with his soft blue blankie.

“Daddy?”

“What’s up mate?” Louis smiled at him.

“I can’t sleep” he said in small voice. “Can I sleep with you?”

Both Ernest and Doris had been calling him Daddy since they were babies and he’d never stopped them. He was the only parent they’d ever known and it was a bittersweet moment the first time Ernie had called him Dadda. He was both moved and saddened, but he also felt a tug on his heartstrings as this precious little person clung to his finger, grinning a toothless grin at him. He was too young to explain the situation to, so Louis had just gone along with it. Doris quickly followed and they’d been calling him Dad ever since.

“Sure buddy” he replied “just hop into my bed and I’ll be along in a minute OK?”

As his little footsteps echoed on the hardwood floor, Louis smiled. “Not really what I had in mind when I pictured spending my twenties with cute boy in my bed” he joked.

Lottie giggled. “Oh Lou! You poor thing!”

He ruffled her hair, giving her a hug. “We won’t need you till eleven tomorrow – so have a sleep in if you can – you’ve been working too hard love, and you need to concentrate on your study!”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine Lou – stop worrying!”

He wandered off to join Ernie, who was already asleep across his bed, leaving him an inch or so of unoccupied space. He sighed wearily and moved his limp body across to the other side before sliding in next to him.

That night, for the first time in a long time, he dreamt of Harry.

 

XXXXX

 

Over the next twelve weeks, Louis and Lottie religiously tuned into the X-Factor, and chewed the nails over every elimination. It was both painful and wonderful to see Harry again, to listen to him speak about his hopes and dreams, hear him sing. He couldn’t stop watching, even if he wanted to. Lottie was also invested in Harry’s success. When it looked like Harry was going to be booted out, Louis felt his heart break for him, but Harry was given a reprieve and put into a group with Niall Horan and Zayn Malik, forming One Direction. Louis and Lottie may have voted for them more than a few times over the course of the competition, but he’d never admit that publically. He wanted so much for Harry to live his dream, to have it all. Every week he and Lottie cheered as the boys became more and more popular, voted back in first each time.

When they won, Louis and Lottie may have done a little happy dance around the lounge room – Fizzy looking at them both like they were crazy. They then hugged each other and Louis may have shed a tear or two, but that’s nobody’s business. He’d done it - Harry had done it. Louis wanted him to have everything and it looked like he was going to get it.

Louis also knew that this was the moment of closure for him, this was a goodbye of sorts. He was going to let Harry go finally and trust that everything happened as it was supposed to. Harry was too wonderful to keep from the world and he was always meant to be more, so it was a fitting ending to their story really. He was happy for Harry, but he couldn’t help the tinge of sadness he felt.

 

XXXXX

 

Zayn shook Harry awake. He woke up groggy, not even sure what country they were in. This was their seventh flight in as many days and he was so tired. The last six months had been gruelling to say the least. Their first single, What Makes You Beautiful, released four months ago, had rocketed to number one and they had been touring and doing guest spots to promote their upcoming album, in between recording sessions.

When they were putting the album together, Simon had asked if any of them had written anything before, that they might be able to use o the album. Harry had put his hand up and passed over three songs he’d written long ago, at a time he’d felt his world was falling apart. Having them read and dissected was like ripping the scab off a poorly healed wound, causing it to bleed again.

Simon had chosen one of his songs to be on the album. It was also going to be their second single. While Harry was proud of that, he’d also struggled with putting his heart out there for everyone to see. Maybe even for Louis to see.

He’d wondered many times over the past six months if Louis had seen him on the X-Factor – if he’d even cared beyond saying to someone “ _oh, I used to know him_.” He knows if Louis ever heard the song, he’d know it was about him and he’s not sure that he’s comfortable with that when he still felt so sensitive about it. He wasn’t even sure how he’d manage to sing it live, after he’d found it so hard to sing it even in the recording studio.

When he’d discussed his concerns with Simon and the other boys, Simon had looked at him calculatingly before replying with “Harry, all of the very best songs in history have come from the most raw of emotions, that’s what made them great – the story they tell. When you can sing a song and mean it, you take the audience on that emotional journey with you. When people can relate to the song, it’s more special, it makes them feel like they’re not alone if they’re going through the same thing. That is when you know you have a truly great song.”

Harry had considered his words, had thought about reaching out to someone who was going through the same thing he was at sixteen and perhaps giving them a degree of comfort and he decided that it was worth some suffering if he could do that. So he’d agreed to record the song.

It had taken a few runs to stop his voice breaking, and when he’d finally managed to get through the whole thing during recording, everyone in the studio had been quiet for a moment, surely able to feel his pain. Niall and Zayn had recorded their harmonies then and when he listened to the song back, he was incredibly proud of the finished result.

However, singing the song had brought back so many memories for him and reliving that night was painful. He had tried so hard to get over Louis, but in reality, he’d just pushed everything deep down inside, willing himself to move on and never really able to.

Now Louis was constantly in his mind, in his dreams and it was hard. It hurt – maybe not as badly as it once did, but the shadow of the despair he once felt had settled over him and he was struggling to shake it off.

Zayn and Niall sensed the change in him and both boys had crowded him, spending more time in his space, showing their support physically as well as emotionally. He was so grateful for the boys he loved like brothers. They let him talk it out, let him reminisce about Louis – about the good times as well as bad. It was cathartic and it helped. He actually found that taking out his memories of Louis from storage and dusting them off gave him as much pleasure as it did pain and he was kind of OK with that.

 


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Thanks again for reading - hope you like this new chapter! I blame my emotional instability on current events - I have no excuse other than these boys make my life an emotional rollercoaster!!
> 
> Again - very little proofing has been done, so there's that. LOL 
> 
> Love comments and Kudos, so please let me know what you think :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song featured in this chapter - and the one which inspired this fic is by Guy Sebastion and it is called "Beg" - if you haven't heard it, check it out because it is totally awesome and his voice is heaven. All credit for this song to him :) x

He was completely wasted.

Not just drunk - he was fall down, off his head, lost all control, wasted.

Luckily, he wasn’t anywhere public. He was sitting alone in his hotel room, having drunk the entire contents of the mini bar and the additional bottle of whiskey he’d ordered from room service. His dinner sat untouched, adding to his inebriated state, and he was sitting on the floor, leaning back against his bed, staring into the space before him.

He felt numb, which was the whole idea of drinking in the first place really, but he had found that it didn’t help. No matter how much he drank, he couldn’t get Louis off his mind. It was like having a song stuck in your head and no matter how much you want to stop singing it, it just keeps creeping back in.

A song.

A song is what started this whole downward spiral. A song he was releasing to the world on radio the day after tomorrow. He had locked Louis safely away in the deepest corner of his heart, had kept a tight reign on his feelings and moved on – or so he’d thought. What a fucking joke! It was still as raw as it ever was. _Fuck!_ He felt every single emotion as if it were yesterday. The hurt, anger and utter misery were coursing through his veins like it had just happened – not four years ago.

He still remembers the realisation that Louis would rather stop seeing him as often, rather deny him, than admit that he loved him and it still cut so deeply. He had been _so_ in love with Louis, so proud to be his boyfriend and Louis hadn’t felt the same way. Harry had been his dirty little secret, his shameful double life.

Harry had been OK with it at first, the sneaking around, it gave their relationship an exciting edge. What he’d minded was when it affected how much time Louis wanted to spend with him, when he actually wanted to flat out deny he had any feelings for Harry. The day Louis had come to him and said they needed to back off a bit until rumours died down, he'd been so shocked and upset - he’d also been angry. Why couldn’t Louis love him enough? He should have wanted to be with him. He should have been proud to be with him. It shouldn’t have been all one sided.

He’d been _sixteen_. His hormones were raging and he’d been madly in love. He’d also been wounded and he’d lashed out instinctively, without the maturity to see reason. Looking back he knew the ultimatum he’d given Louis had been unfair and he’d tried to call Louis later that night. He’d also tried texting him, but had no answer. Pride had stopped him from running to Louis’ house after that – like he said, he wasn’t going to beg. If Louis couldn’t even call him back, could cut him loose so easily, he mustn’t have really loved him at all. That was what it boiled down to and it cut him up to know he wasn’t enough for Louis, because Louis had been everything to him. Was still everything to him, he realised.

He’d had some hook ups here and there over the years and one steady boyfriend two years ago. Mark had been perfect - he was sweet natured, caring, thoughtful and everything a boyfriend should be. He just wasn’t Louis.

He wasn’t exciting and exasperating and frustrating and magnetic and all the things that Harry had loved about Louis. Louis had been like a thunder storm – a touch of danger, beautiful and unpredictable. Harry had never stood a chance, he’d fallen hard and fallen deeply from the moment they’d met.

Harry wondered vaguely if Louis was still the same. He couldn’t imagine him any other way, was sure he was still the same – wreaking havoc and leaving broken hearts wherever he went. Or maybe he was happy with someone else – maybe he’d found love after all. That thought caused more pain than any other. He couldn’t imagine Louis with anyone else, it hurt too much.

 

He could hear Niall knocking on his door, but he didn’t bother getting up – didn’t even know if he was able to. He knew Niall could get a key from Paul if he really wanted in. Sure enough, a few minutes later, his door flew open and Niall barged in, Zayn close on his tail.

“Holy Shit Harry! What’ve you done?” Niall exclaimed as they saw him sitting on the floor, surrounded by empty mini bar bottles and a half drunk bottle of whiskey.

Harry didn’t even look up, just kept staring at the carpet in front of him, elbows on his pulled up knees.

“Harry?” said Zayn softly as he sat beside him, slipping an arm around his shoulders. “You didn’t answer your phone mate, what’s going on?” Both Niall and Zayn actually had a pretty good idea of what was going on without being told.

Harry turned his face then, looking at Zayn miserably. Tears had been steadily coming for about an hour now, with no sign of stopping.

“What am I going to do Zayn?” he asked quietly. “It’s been four years and I can feel it like it was yesterday. I thought I’d moved on, but I guess I was wrong.”

“Maybe you don’t need to” answered Zayn “have you tried to contact him?”

Harry nodded. “I tried, yeah, about six months after that night. When I got to his house, there were new owners – told me the old family had moved. They didn’t know where. He left Cheshire and didn’t even say goodbye. That’s when I knew – he’d never really loved me. It’d just been fun for him. Just a fling, you know? Didn’t try to find him after that.”

“If that’s the case Harry, then you have to let him go” replied Niall. “I think it’s time you started dating. You need to get out there and meet someone new. This song has dragged up all these old memories and we never should have used it. This isn’t a healthy way to deal with anything Harry.”

“I know” answered Harry sadly “I just needed not to feel anything for a while.”

“That plan didn’t work out so well now did it?” chuckled Zayn, before turning serious again. “Listen Haz, let’s get you in a shower and get you some food yeah?”

As it turned out, Harry was so drained after his shower, he fell right into an alcohol induced slumber. The boys both stayed with him, sleeping either side of him and when he woke in the early hours, vomiting and crying all over again, they rubbed his back and silently cursed the boy that had left him so broken.

 

XXXX

 

Most twenty two year old males would spend their Saturday night out with friends, perhaps a boyfriend, maybe dinner and then clubbing - or the just a drink at the pub. Easy. Fun. Carefree.

Louis, however, was not most twenty two year old men.

While he had been able to have the odd night out now that Lottie is older, he prefers to let his sister go out on weekends and have some fun. She deserves the chance to meet some nice bloke and see her friends. She has missed so much over the years and it hardly seems fair.

He hadn’t had a boyfriend since Harry and he’s not really sure it’d be fair on anyone else, when Harry has always had his heart. He also never really had the _time_ for a partner! Besides, who would want him when he comes with so much baggage compared to the average guy? He knows it’s a lot to expect anyone to take on, so he just avoids even trying. It makes things less complicated and _anything_ that can make his life _less_ complicated is something he is fully in favour of, because there are still days he feels like he’s drowning, like it’s just too much and he can’t keep his head above water. It was worse during that first year of course, but it still gets the better of him sometimes.

Sometimes he gets lonely and thinks maybe he should get out there any try to find himself a nice boyfriend, but in the end he just can’t really picture himself in a serious relationship, other than the one he has with his kids. His _Kids_. He doesn’t remember when the transition from siblings to kids happened with the younger four, but it has now and he really does think of them as his own. It’s a weird unique situation, but he loves them like he would his own children and in Ernest and Doris’ case, he _was_ their parent – the only one they’d ever known.

He gets urges, of course, just like the next guy, but the handful of hook ups he’s had over the four years simply left him feeling empty, so he decided casual just wasn’t for him and let his right hand become his life partner - and their relationship was a good one. No pressure, no nagging, no fights and sex whenever he wanted it – the perfect relationship really!

So this Saturday night for Louis consisted of catching up on the loads of washing for the week after working at the shop all day, while the usual chaos happened around him.

He was currently washing the hair of the youngest twins as they sat in the bath tub, bubbles everywhere. Ernest was making bubble beards on both he and Doris and they were all giggling as their hair was lathered up white and they had matching white bubbly beards.

“You have a beard too Daddy!” giggled Doris as she grabbed a handful of bubbles and put them on his face. “You look like an old man!”

Louis made a funny face, crossing his eyes and stroking his imaginary beard while putting on an old man’s voice. “Now I know I left my glasses around here somewhere” he teased, making both twins laugh.

“You’re so funny!” laughed Ernest.

He loved the sound of their laughter. There had been so much sorrow in all their lives that any moments like this brought him such a feeling of contentment. Like maybe he was doing something right.

Daisy and Phoebe were drawn to the bathroom by the sound of fun happening without them. They soon stripped off and crammed themselves into the bath, playing with the bubbles and blowing them around, making the younger twins giggle. Louis was content to just sit on the toilet seat and enjoy watching them play, a fond smile tugging at his lips.

When they’d completely trashed the bathroom, water everywhere and no bubbles left in the tub, he herded them out of the bath and into their pyjamas. They’d put on a movie and he was just trying to decide between cheese toasties or minute noodles for dinner, because he hadn’t managed to shop and they were out of almost everything, when there was a knock at the door. Louis opened it to find Liam and Sophia standing there holding a six pack of beer and four pizzas.

Louis grinned. “What are you doing here?”

“Is that any way to greet the people bringing pizza to your door?” exclaimed Liam.

There was a chorus of “Pizza!” from the hallway as the children descended on Liam and he laughed as he was dragged inside by an assortment of little hands.

Sophia smiled as she stepped inside, kissing Louis’ cheek. “Hello love, we thought maybe you’d like some adult company as well.”

Louis was so bloody grateful for these two beautiful human beings. He felt ridiculous for having to swallow the lump forming in his throat as he replied with a heartfelt “thank you”, before ushering Sophia into the lounge room, where Liam was lying on his back on the floor, being accosted by Enerst and Doris as Daisy and Phoebe probed the pizza boxes to see what there was to choose from.

The younger tow were squealing and Louis shook his head. “Don’t rev them up Li – I just got them all settled!”

“I’m doing no such thing!” replied Liam indignantly, while he tickled Ernie’s sides, sending him into hysterics, while Doris tried to save him by thumping on Liam’s chest with her tiny hands.

Louis and Sophia traded exasperated looks and tried to pull the twins off so everyone could eat. When he turned around, he gave Daisy and Phoebe a raised eyebrow when he caught them eating pizza straight from the box. “Do we not use plates in this house?” he asked sarcastically.

Both girls looked sheepish as they said “Sorry Lou” and ran off to get plates from the kitchen for everyone.

When they were settled back in front of the telly, the adults took theirs to the kitchen table. Louis looked down at their eclectic mix of Disney themed plates and beers and shook his head at the beautiful mess his life was.

They chatted amiably about putting on an extra staff member and new menu ideas for the shop, before Liam cleared his throat, throwing Sophia an anxious look before saying “Listen Lou, my cousin’s best friend - who’s a lovely guy, _really_ nice - well I thought maybe you might be, like….. he’s single and he knows about your, um….situation and he seems pretty keen…so um….”

Louis giggled. “Spit it out Liam…”

Liam sighed. “He was wondering if you’d be interested in like, a dinner date or something – no pressure, just dinner, but it might be good for you to get out, Lou. You never go anywhere anymore and I just think you might enjoy it.”

Both he and Sophia were looking at him nervously, like they expected him to say no. Louis’ first reaction had been a resounding “no”, but Liam was right – he needed to get out. He needed an adult night or he was going to go crazy. What was the harm in dinner with the friend of a friend?

“Actually” he replied slowly “I think you may have a point. I’d love to go to dinner, just, can you let him know I’m not up for more just at the moment? That I’d be happy for the company, but that I’m not up for a relationship just yet? I don’t want to create any awkward misunderstandings.”

“No problem!” Liam beamed at him.

“So where are the older Tomlinson girls tonight?” asked Sophia.

“Lottie has gone clubbing, then she’s staying at a friend’s house, so she doesn’t wake the kids when she comes home.” He sighed deeply before adding “and Fizzy is at Katelyn’s house – just like very weekend. She’s rarely ever home at the moment and when she is she’s withdrawn and moody. I’ve tried speaking with her, but she doesn’t want to talk to me. Lottie and she talk pretty often, but I don’t want to ask Lottie to betray confidences and I know she’d tell me if she thought it was important. I guess it’s just puberty kicking in, but I hate it – there’s this distance there that wasn’t there before. We used to be so close.”

“Let me chat to her next time I see her – I might be able to help you there” offered Sophia.

“Thanks Soph, I’d appreciate that” he replied.

 

When they’d finished chatting, they found all four younger children asleep on the lounges and Liam helped Louis carry them upstairs to be before he and Sophia headed home.

Louis dropped into bed and fell asleep instantaneously, the exhaustion of a busy week seeping into his bones.

 

XXXX

 

The boys waited to enter the studio with nervous tension. This was it – the single would be released to the world today! They were anxious to see how it was going to be received. Harry felt like he was standing in front of the world with his chest wide open – the contents for all to see. It was such a vulnerable feeling and he was still reeling from all the dredged up emotions he was carrying around with him.

The door opened and they were greeted by Nick Grimshaw, the host. He was really friendly, with a wide grin and nice eyes and he immediately put them at ease.

“Hello lads! Great to finally meet you! I’m actually a huge fan – you guys are awesome!” he smiled.

It was hard not to smile back and Harry felt himself relax, could visibly see Zayn and Niall do the same as they talked and joked with Nick. Harry looked at Nick as he was speaking with Niall. He was a handsome guy, no doubt about it – a little older than they were, but immaculately groomed. Harry knew he was gay – he was out and proud and Harry respected that, like that Nick was confident about who he was.

Harry had made it clear from the very beginning when they’d been signed that he was openly gay and wouldn’t consider closeting, as had been suggested. Zayn and Niall had staunchly supported this and made it a stipulation in their contract. Management, while not pleased, had agreed and Harry was indebted to both boys for their support.

They were ushered into the studio, where Nick introduced them and asked some preliminary questions.

“Well, I’m sitting here with One Direction, just back from Amsterdam and here for the launch of their new single. Now boys, this is a departure from the upbeat first single – what was the inspiration for the song? I understand you wrote it Harry?”

Harry’s throat constricted as the boys looked over at him. Zayn sensed immediately that Harry was struggling and stepped into the breach.

“It’s a song about someone who wants the person they love to love them back just as much, but, in the end, you can’t force that. I guess it’s kind of that person saying that if you can’t – if you can’t love me back that way – then I’m not gonna beg, you know? I think we’ve all been in a relationship where the other person doesn’t like, feel the same, but no matter how much you want it to be different, you can’t.”

“Yeah” agreed Niall “like at some point, your pride kicks in and you go, well I’m not gonna get on my hands and knees and plead with you if you don’t want me…I guess it’s a heavy subject matter for the second single, but we thought the song was just beautifully written and I think everyone can relate to it on some level, so yeah…”

Nick had been eyeing Harry throughout the boy’s answers and had noticed the boys nervously glancing at him. He seemed to sense there was something more to the story, but was kind enough to move on and ask some generic questions to smooth the tension. Harry was so grateful.

“Well” Nick said finally “without further ado, here is the new One Direction single – it’s called “I’m Not Gonna Beg” – let us know what you think lovely listeners!”

There was a collective sigh of relief as the group went off air and the song played softly in the background. Before Harry could think too much about the fact that his heart was being laid bare on the radio, Nick was approaching him.

“I heard the song for the first time yesterday Harry. I thought it was amazing, just so you know. It was obviously written from experience and I just want to say that time really does heal all wounds – I know it may not seem like it, but it does get better.” He looked at Harry sympathetically and squeezed his shoulder.

Harry was touched. While he wanted to ask if four years should be enough time, he instead gave Nick a smile and thanked him for his kind words.

“Listen” Nick said, turning his head to include all three of them. “There’s a party at Funky Buddha tonight – it’s a private party but I can get you all on the list. Why don’t you come and celebrate the launch of what is sure to be a huge hit with some of my friends and I. I promise, you’ll enjoy yourselves!”

The boys all grinned. “That sounds like fun” replied Harry, finding that he actually meant it.

 

XXXX

 

Louis woke to hair in his mouth and a foot in his groin. Both Ernie and Dot had crawled into his bed last night and neither were great sleepers, tossing themselves all over the bed and drawn to his body heat, laying all over him. He wondered off-handedly when he might actually get his bed back to himself after four years of babies and toddlers in it.

He slid out from under the tangled limbs and wandered downstairs to the kitchen to make himself a strong cup of tea. Sundays were his day off and he loved them with a passion. He’d finished the washing yesterday, so all they had to do was a quick tidy before they were free to hit the park. He could maybe even pack a picnic basket and they could have a picnic.

He heard the door open and Lottie appeared in the kitchen.

“You’re home early – I thought you’d be sleeping off the after effects of the club!” Louis joked. When she didn’t answer he looked at her and saw her face.

“Lotts? What’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” he asked, concerned.

“Lou, One Direction’s new single came out” she whispered. “I think you need to hear it.”

“What? What are you talking about love?” he frowned.

She turned and walked out of the kitchen, returning a few moments later with her laptop. She opened it to Youtube and called up the audio of the single.

“Lottie” warned Louis “I don’t see…”

“Just listen!” she interrupted.

He sank down on a kitchen chair as she hit play and Harry’s voice began to sing. He tensed as the words hit him, mouth opening on a gasp.

He listened as Harry passionately sang the words he knew in an instant were written for him and tears formed in his eyes as the familiar voice echoed in the stillness of the kitchen.

_“….And I'm trying to touch your hand_

_But you're just out of reach_

_And all I'm really tryin' to say_

_Is can you meet me halfway?_   
  


_But if you're staying there instead I_

_'m not gonna beg_

_I'm not gonna make you want me_

_I'm not gonna fall to my knees_

_I shouldn't have to say please_

_I'm not gonna beg_

_'_ _Cause this is beyond unfair_

_You should wanna be here_

_I’d give my life for love_

_But I'm not gonna beg…_

 

_You shouldn't feel like this, feel like this baby no_

_We should be in this together_

_And if it stays like this, stays like this you know_

_I won't be here forever no, no..”_

 

When the song finished, they sat in silence. The words Harry had spoken so long ago were running through his brain like a chant. “ _I won’t beg Lou”_.

Louis let the tears fall, let the emotion take over and gave himself up to the grief he’d never allowed himself to feel until that moment. He doesn’t know how long he sat there sobbing, Lottie holding him, before he felt two small bodies crawl into his lap.

Ernie took his face in his hands, looking up at him with a troubled frown. “Why are you crying Daddy?”

“Daddy’s just a bit sad mate” Lottie replied. “It’s OK to be sad sometimes you know.”

“I don’t like it when Daddy’s sad!” protested Dot.

Louis took a deep breath, pulling himself together. “Well” he said, his voice falsely bright. “I know what will make me feel better – pancakes!”

The twins cheered as Louis got up and turned on his iPod, pulling out the mixing bowl.

“Who’s going to help me mix?” he called out cheerfully.

“Me!” shouted Dot.

“I want to put the chocolate chips in!” added Ernie.

Lottie was watching sadly as her brother put on a brave face. The same brave face he’d been wearing for four years now. She wondered how long he could keep this up without breaking.

He looked up and caught her eye, giving her a wink and a smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes the way it should and she wasn’t fooled for a moment.

 

 

 


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi all - so I've had a few guesses about how they meet and nobody guessed it yet! LOL
> 
> As usual - my proofing has been little to non-existent, so please ignore my mistakes and try to enjoy the story anyway!
> 
> Thanks for the Kudos and comments - they make me smile smile smile!!!
> 
> Also - thanks for reading! :) xxx

The party was in full swing when the boys arrived at Funky Buddha. They were more than a little star struck – the party was the who’s who of London’s fashionable crowd. Niall was excitedly pointing out celebrities as they wandered up to the bar and ordered a drink. That was where Nick found them, welcoming them and chatting about the single, which had been an instant hit.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you have a chart topper on your hands lads!” he said enthusiastically. Seeing Harry tense up, he immediately changed the subject. “Anyway – let me introduce you to a few people. Follow me!”

True to his word, Nick introduced them around and the boys were welcomed into the fold quickly. Harry really hit it off with Cara Delavingne, who was great fun. She and Nick stayed by his side all night and made him laugh for the first time in what felt like months with their running commentary on everybody’s outfits and their intimate knowledge of all the most salacious gossip. They were drinking some fruity cocktails that Nick had ordered them and getting more and more giggly by the minute.

When they hit the dance floor, Harry let loose, throwing off the despair of the last few days and feeling better with every drink. Zayn and Niall joined them on the floor, Niall keeping them all in stitches with his crazy dance technique. Both boys were happy to see Harry in better spirits. It was a relief after watching him hit rock bottom two days ago.

As the night wore on, Harry found himself enjoying Nick’s company more and more. He was intelligent, witty and had just a hint of recklessness and a sarcastic streak that, if he was being honest with himself, reminded Harry so much of a certain blue eyed boy.

Luckily, he wasn’t being honest with himself, he was living in the wonderful land of denial, where everything was wonderful and he hadn’t had his heart crushed into a thousand little pieces. He chatted and laughed and when Nick got a little flirty as he became tipsy, Harry discovered he didn’t really mind. He even flirted back a little, just to test the waters, see how it felt. It felt nice - not quite natural, but not awkward either and as the night wore on, it became more and more comfortable. Maybe he could do this – maybe he could make himself move on, once and for all.

 

XXXXXX

 

Daisy had head lice – and didn’t that just make a fucking Monday night even better!

It meant treating the entire family, rewashing all the bedding, soft toys and pillows, as well as applying insecticide to every other surface of the house. Just what he needed after a full day at work.

The entire family was pitching in, heads foamed up with treatment lotion, including Louis, while they gathered up all the items needing to be put through the washer/dryer. It was going to be a long night!

“Where are we going to sleep?” asked Phoebe as Louis stripped their beds and sprayed their mattresses.

“We’re going to make a tent in the lounge room” Louis replied with an enthusiasm he definitely didn’t feel, but you know, fake it till you make it was his motto. “It’ll be just like camping. I just have to get the air mattresses out of the garage.”

“Oh awesome!” squealed Phoebe, running off to tell the others.

He turned to see Fizzy standing in the doorway, hair foamed up and glaring at him. I’m not sleeping in the lounge room with that lot! Nobody even goes into my room – why can’t I sleep in my bed?” she whined.

“Because” replied Louis with a patience he also didn’t feel, “if you did happen to have caught lice from Daisy, then your pillow and bedding would need washing and I’m taking no chances of anyone being re-infected. I’m only doing this once, so we all have to do it!” When she rolled her eyes, his patience wore thin and he raised his voice. “Do you think this is my idea of a perfect Monday evening Fizz? No!   But it is what it is – and we just have to get on with it.”

“It is what it is!” she yelled back at him, eyes tearing up and mimicking his voice back at him. “We just have to get on with it. We just have to accept that our lives suck the big balls, we just have to live with it, we just have to fucking take it on the chin, because we’re team fucking Tomlinson and we always cope!” She turned and ran into her room, slamming the door behind her.

Louis stood gaping at the space she had been occupying just moments ago. _Well_ , he thought, _what the fuck was that?_

Lottie appeared just then. “Let me talk to her OK?”

He just nodded, feeling way out of his depth dealing with a sixteen year old girl. Lottie had never gone through a stage like this – thank God! _She’d probably been too exhausted_ , he thought guiltily.

He picked up the last of the sheets and made his way downstairs to put the next load in the washer and get the air mattresses out. Sleeping on plastic mattresses - yay! - he’d feel that tomorrow!

When the tent (made out of sheets) was erected and mattresses blown up, Louis lay out sleeping bags for them all. They hustled the younger ones into bed and he and Lottie went into the kitchen for a well-deserved cup of tea.

 

“So do you want to fill me in - what’s going on with Fizz?” he asked.

Lottie sighed. “A new teacher started at the school – one that wasn’t aware of our situation. She apparently organised a mother-daughter shopping trip – you know those weekend bus trips? Well anyway when she asked the class what they thought, Fizz dropped her shit and said she thought it sucked. She may have also used slightly stronger adjectives than that! The teacher was obviously upset and made a big deal out of it apparently.”

“Oh” Louis replied.

“Yeah” agreed Lottie. “She got a detention, but that’s not what bothered her the most – she apparently burst into tears in front of the whole class and subsequently, the boy she liked, which was mortifying. These things are _such_ a big deal at sixteen Lou.”

“I understand” replied Louis - even as his brain registered with mild panic, the part about Fizzy liking a boy and filing it away for later - “and I get that it really sucks, but what do we do? I can’t change what happened, no matter how much I wish I could.”

“I know that – she knows it too. That’s why she’s so angry all the time. She’s angry, but there’s nobody to direct her anger at, because fate is not a person, you know? So she’s directing it at you and me. We just have to understand and give her some space to work through it, I guess. I’m about as equipped to deal with this as you are big brother! I offered to go on the trip with her, but she’s adamant she doesn’t want to go, so…”

Louis reached across and took her hand. “Thanks Lottie – I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you.”

She squeezed his hand as she looked back at him. “So what about you - you haven’t said a word about the other morning. Are we going to just pretend it never happened?”

“No, but what am I going to say Lotts? Did it hurt? _Yes_. Do I wish things were different? _God Yes!_ Does it change anything? _No_. There were some very deep, very old wounds re-opened and it was painful, but I need to move on once and for all and talking about him isn’t going to help me do that.”

“Neither is pretending you’re fine when you’re not. No!” she put her hand up when he tried to interrupt her “don’t try to pretend you got the grief out of your system Lou – our rooms are next door to each other and I can hear you crying at night when you think we’re all asleep.”

Louis stared at her. “Oh.”

“Yes. _Oh_. Listen, why don’t you get in touch with him Lou? Explain things? You never know – he may still have feelings for you! That song was – _my God,_ I don’t even know what that song was – it was so sad! Don’t tell me there isn’t some small part of you that wonders what it would be like to see him again. Whether there’s that tiny chance it could work out after all this time.”

“I wonder a lot of things Lotts – I’ve always wondered, in the back of my mind. Like whether he ever thinks of me, whether I cross his mind the way he does mine, from time to time. I wonder what he thought when I never came back to him, when I just moved away and never looked back. I think every day “what if?” – but it doesn’t _matter_ now, don’t you see? Our lives are completely opposite! He’s travelling the world becoming a superstar and I’m making school lunches and combing fucking lice out of kid’s hair!”

Lottie looked at him sadly. “But Lou, when are you going to realise that you’re allowed to have a life too?”

“I will Lottie – I even have a blind date next week, would you believe? I’m just saying that Harry Styles doesn’t fit into that life – it just wouldn’t work.”

 

XXXXX

 

In the weeks leading up to the tour, Harry spent more and more time with Nick. They had dinner, went shopping and spent every weekend clubbing. The media was salivating at the thought of them as a couple and reported daily on where and when they were seen together. While they flirted up a storm and skirted around the now blurry lines between friendship and something more, they never crossed the line. Nick seemed to sense Harry wasn’t quite there yet and Harry was grateful that he kept things casual. He wasn’t ready to rush in with anyone just now, especially with the UK tour about to start. Nevertheless, he was enjoying Nick’s companionship immensely.

They’d been working hard on their concert, rehearsing every day and Harry was hugely proud of the show they were going to put on. The stage looked amazing and the boys couldn’t wait to get started. They’d be touring the country for three weeks, before two big final shows in London at the O2 Arena. It was a dream come true.

And if he allowed his thoughts to drift back to Louis more and more often, and if he allowed himself a few tears in the privacy of his bed, late at night - well nobody needed to know. It could be his little secret.

 

XXXX

 

Matt was lovely. He’d picked Louis up, not even batting an eyelid when all of the Tomlinson siblings came to the door to inspect him. He’d remained undaunted and super friendly, winning them over quickly. He’d also brought Louis flowers, which had made the girls all coo and sigh.

They went to dinner at a great little Mexican place, nothing too fancy, but great atmosphere and good food. They ordered some margaritas and chatted easily. Matt asked about each of the kids, showing a real interest in what Louis had to say. Louis was in his element, bragging about how wonderful they were like the proud parent he was.

“I’m sorry” he laughed. “I must be boring you stupid right now!”

“No!” replied Matt, smiling “these are the people who are most important to you. I love that you’re so proud of them. I can see how much they mean to you. Honestly Louis, I’m in awe of what you’ve done. To have the care of all these kids thrust on you so early in your life – I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been on your own. You’re pretty amazing.”

Louis blushed and felt a warmth rush through him at Matt’s words. He didn’t often hear that sort of praise and he was incredibly touched. He blushed as he smiled back at Matt. “Thank you.”

Matt smiled back softly. “I’m really glad you decided to come out with me tonight Louis. I understand you’re not ready to complicate your life just now, but I hope we can start by being friends and just see where this goes? No pressure at all, of course.”

Louis grinned. “I’d like that.”

 

XXXX

 

He was feeling good for the first time in a while. Things with Matt were going well – still not romantic, but just having someone to talk to, to share things with, besides Liam, was so amazing. He was humming to himself as he pushed his trolley around the supermarket, grabbing supplies they desperately needed.

As he approached the checkout, his eyes scanned the newsstand and one of the headlines caught his eye.

 

**_HARRY STYLES & NICK GRIMSHAW – LONDON’S NEWEST POWER COUPLE?_ **

It was accompanied by a photo of the two, lunching at a posh London Restaurant and smiling at each other, their closeness obvious in the way they were interacting.

 

Louis stopped and stared, unable to take his eyes away, frozen to the spot. The wounds that had just started to heal over were slit open once again and his chest ached. His lungs felt like they were filling with water and it was hard to breathe. He suddenly felt claustraphobic. He left the trolley where it stood and ran from the supermarket, receiving odd looks from those around him. When he got outside he leaned against the wall, trying to get his breathing under control and feeling nausea building. Tears were stinging his eyes and he blinked them back, not able to stop them falling. He made his way blindly to his car, getting in and sitting in the driver’s seat. He didn’t start the car, simply sat and stared out into the night, the sobs wracking his body as he cried himself out.

Once he had himself back under control, he wiped his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He couldn’t go back into the supermarket, so he called Lottie and told her to order take out instead.

“Is everything OK Lou? She asked, noticing the thickness to his voice.

“Fine, I just, it was just really crowded at the supermarket and I couldn’t face it tonight – I’ll shop tomorrow, I promise.”

“I can do it – I’m off Uni tomorrow, so it’s no problem.”

“Thanks love” he replied. “I’ll be home soon, yeah?”

If she noticed his bloodshot eyes and blotchy face when he came home, Lottie didn’t say anything, just shot him concerned looks all night, but biting her tongue and Louis was grateful for her silence.

He went to bed as soon as he’d got the younger ones into bed, exhausted and miserable. He feel asleep with great difficult and only slept fitfully.

 

XXXX

 

Their first stop was Liverpool, followed by Manchester for two shows and then on to Leeds and Sheffield. Then it was north to Scotland. Everything was in place and the boys were excited about their first show.

“I’m really fucking nervous!” Niall said, biting his finger nails as the car headed to Liverpool from London.

“Me too” replied Zayn “but really excited too, like, it’s gonna be amazing!”

They looked at Harry, who was off in his own world, looking out the window at the passing scenery and not listening to the conversation.

“Harry?” asked Niall. “Everything alright mate?”

Harry seemed to startle out of his own thoughts and smiled at them. “Yeah, of course, just thinking about tonight” he lied. “Can’t wait to get up there really!”

Niall laughed. “Born to be on stage, weren’t you Harry! Are you not even a little bit nervous?”

“Not really? Like I am a bit, but more excited than anything else. I think I’ve just always known this is what I wanted to do, you know? So it just feels right.”

 

It was.

Their first show was an adrenaline rush like he’d never felt! It was the first time in four years that he was truly happy, was able to put everything else out of his mind and just live in the moment. He could get addicted to this feeling.

They came off stage at the end of the night just buzzing. Niall was bouncing around, a bundle of energy as he came down from the high. Even Zayn was grinning from ear to ear – even though he was still the most chilled human being on the planet.

They knew they wouldn’t sleep tonight, so they assembled in Harry’s room to go over every little memory of their night and relive the experience.

Harry was truly happy and he went to sleep with a smile on his face for the first time in a long time.

The next morning, it was off to Manchester straight after breakfast. They’d the first half of the day to do their own thing, followed by sound check at four o’clock.

 

XXXX

 

Louis was so tired. He had hardly slept the last few days, waking from dreams of Harry that he seemed powerless to stop. It was like now Harry was in his mind, he couldn’t stop thinking about him, even when he slept.

It had been a long day and he had just gone to put the kettle on for an afternoon cup of tea, when he remembered he had to collect the kids from Kindy and School as Lottie was at Uni late today.

“ _Fuck it_!” he cursed.

“What is it?” asked Liam, walking into the kitchen.

“Just about to grab a much needed cuppa and realised it’s my day to pick up the kids! Oh well – no rest for the wicked!” he went to grab his keys and phone from the bench, when Liam interrupted him.

“I’ll get them Lou – the lunch rush is over, so Soph can do the coffees and you can have that cuppa – sit and relax will you, you look like shit!.”

“Oh My God Liam, you are my hero right now!” he threw himself at Liam, peppering his face with little kisses as Liam fought him off. “I’m even going to forgive for saying I look like shit.”

“For fuck’s sake Lou – get off me, you big monkey! You’d think I’d never done you a favour before!” he chuckled as he made his way out the door, grabbing the keys to Louis’ minivan.

 

XXXX

 

They should be resting, but it’s just too exciting and they found themselves restless, so they decided to slip out incognito and check out Manchester’s main shopping street. They slipped on sunglasses and hats, hoping to go undetected for a while, and browsed the shops aimlessly. They’d been approached by a few fans, but Alberto had kept a close eye on them and it had remained calm for the most part.

They were dying for a coffee and spotted a hip looking place a few doors up called The Grounds.

“Hey Alberto” called Niall “we’re gonna go in here for a coffee, alright?”

Alberto nodded, following them inside. It was a great modern place, with an Urban/Industrial type feel. There was great music playing and the place was pretty quiet, so it was perfect for them to relax. They sat at a corner table, chatting happily.

When the girl behind the coffee machine called out “Louis! Customers!” Harry’s head shot up at the sound of a name as familiar to him as his own. It was a knee-jerk reaction, but as he watched, a figure walked out of the kitchen, smiling at the girl, that was familiar to him in every way. He gasped in shock and without thinking, he was on his feet and walking slowly toward the man in question.

As he approached the counter, the boy turned to look at him, ghost of his smile still present, before his face slackened with shock. Harry had stopped a few feet from the counter, frozen to the spot.

“Lou?” he asked quietly.

It was the girl who spoke first, Louis just standing and staring at him, mouth open.

“Hey aren’t you…”

“Harry!” Louis said then, still staring at Harry, like he couldn’t quite believe he was real.

Sophia looked at Louis, then back at Harry, sensing something was happening and keeping quiet. Niall and Zayn had jumped up at the mention of Louis’ name, not sure what Harry was going to do.

The place was silent as the two boys simply stared at each other, no idea what to say, where to even start.

They both then started talking at the same time.

“Harry, I..”

“How are..”

They stopped and let out a laugh at the awkwardness of the moment, before Harry walked straight up to him and embraced him. Louis stiffened in shock, but immediately sank into the hug, clinging to Harry for all he was worth and burying his face in Harry’s neck. As they eventually pulled back, both boys had tears in their eyes. They didn’t say anything, just looking each other over, cataloguing all the little changes and grinning at each other stupidly.

Before they could say anything else, there was a commotion behind them as Liam arrived with the Tomlinson family in tow.

 

“Daddy!” yelled Ernie, diving at Louis’ legs, throwing his arms around them.

Harry’s eyes widened in shock (What the fuck! - _Lou had a kid_?). He was still reeling as Dot trailed after Ernie, followed by Liam and Fizzy, all oblivious to the sudden tension in the room.

“Daddy, I got a merit award!” said Dot, proudly holding up her award for his inspection. Louis dragged his gaze from Harry’s shocked one, to give the award due attention.

“That’s amazing sweetheart! I think that deserves a cupcake! Why don’t you go and ask Soph to get you one, OK?”

“Do I get a cupcake too?” asked Ernie.

“I don’t know mate” asked Liam butted in, joking around “did you get a merit too?”

“I got all my maths answers right!” Ernie replied with a hopeful look on his face.

“Oh well!” replied Liam “that definitely calls for a cupcake!” he picked up Ernie, tossing him over his shoulder as he walked away, taking the squealing boy with him. “Oh Lou” Liam called over his shoulder “I think the brakes in the minivan need checking – they were a bit soft. Better get it seen to sooner rather than later, yeah?”

 _That must be his husband_ , thought Harry, heart hammering in his chest as he was backing away and bumping into a chair behind him, Zayn and Niall coming up behind him for support. Before Louis could say anything, Fizzy recognised Harry.

“Harry?” she asked “is that you? Oh My God!” she threw herself at him as she realised it really was him.

Surprise registered in his face and he couldn’t help but smile as he murmured “Flick? Oh My Goodness girl, you’re all grown up – and you’re so beautiful!”

She blushed as she replied “so are you! We watched you every week on X-Factor! Lottie and Lou voted for you so many times, I thought they were going to wear their phones out!”

All the One Direction boys looked at Louis then. He felt his face grow hot as Harry frowned at in confusion. He knew Ernie and Dot had thrown Harry for a loop, but he didn’t want to explain in front of Harry’s bandmates, so he just kept silent. He looked back at Harry sadly before Fizz reclaimed Harry’s attention.

“I think you guys are amazing!” she gushed. “I totally would’ve come to your concert, but I didn’t have the money for the ticket – sorry! I bet you’re gonna be amazing though!”

“I can organise you tickets – if you want to come?” Harry offered, not looking at Louis.

“Oh my God!” exclaimed Fizzy “Lottie’s gonna wet her pants! Would you really?”

“Yeah sure” he smiled softly. “I’ll leave them at the box office for tomorrow night’s show OK?”

“Oh thankyou so much Harry!” she squealed, hugging him again. “I’m gonna go text Lottie!”

She ran out the back, leaving Louis standing there, trapped in an awkward silence, Harry staring at him. There was so much to say, but nothing that could be said in front of strangers, so he simply said “it’s great to see you Haz.”

“You too Lou.” Harry murmured sadly, before turning and walking out without looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me! I promise it will all be OK in the end :) x


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Proofing - what proofing? Please forgive any mistakes!
> 
> Hope you like it! Thanks for reading and thank you AGAIN for all the lovely comments and Kudos, they inspire me so much!
> 
> So Harry & Louis are in my city as we speak so I'm pretty excited about that - maybe that's why this Chapter was so emotional? Who knows!

They called a car and drove back to the hotel. Harry was silent – he hadn’t said a word since they’d left the café. Niall and Zayn kept shooting each other worried glances, but really didn’t know what to say – what _could_ they say?

When they got back to the Hotel, they headed to Harry’s room by unspoken agreement. Niall grabbed them all a beer from the minibar and wordlessly passed them around. They drank in silence for a moment before Harry huffed out a humourless laugh.

“Four years.” He shook his head. “Four fucking years I’ve been dragging this shit around, telling myself I had moved on. You know I used to imagine what that moment would be like – seeing him again? I used to imagine all sorts of scenarios where he came back for me, where he saw me again and ran into my arms, saying how sorry he was – real rom com scenes, you know? After the first year, I stopped all that. Told myself to get over it and I even convinced myself that I had. Even when we decided to use the song and it opened the floodgates of stored up emotion, I thought maybe it was just nostalgia, yeah? Like the memory of the old hurt. Then I saw him today and I realised that I’ve been kidding myself, that it had never been over for me – not really. I’d been getting on with my life, sure, but it’d been diminished by his absence. It was like, _less_ somehow. It’s _not_ over for me – I don’t know if it will _ever_ be over for me. And isn’t that just great? Because apparently as soon as he left me, he found the actual love of his life and had kids and lived his fairytale fucking life without giving me another thought! Cheers to that!” he raised his beer before taking a swig.

“I can only imagine how much this sucks mate. I’m so sorry” said Zayn quietly, wrapping an arm around Harry’s shoulders.

“Yeah, whatever you need, we’re here for you” added Niall.

“I think maybe, that seeing him today was meant to be” Harry said thoughtfully. “Like, I needed to see the truth, so I can have a chance to accept it and try to get on with my life. I’ll always love him, I know that now, but, I also now know he didn’t feel the same and I can at least force myself to stop hoping for him to come back one day. That’s a good thing right?”

The boys nodded sadly.

“Right, well, that’s what I’m going to do! I’m going to get my shit together and move on!” he said determinedly.

He may have been trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince them, but what was the saying? You had to fake it till you make it? That’s what he was going to do – he was going to pretend until it became his reality. It wouldn’t be easy, but what choice did he have?

 

XXXX

 

“You didn’t say a word to him?” Lottie hissed at him.

They were in the kitchen, just finished dinner and Fizzy having taken the two sets of twins upstairs to run them a bath. Louis had just told her what happened at the café that afternoon.

He was exhausted after having to explain everything to Liam and Sophia as well as Fizzy. He’d collapsed into a chair after Harry had left the café, still in shock at even seeing him in person again and they’d all demanded an explanation for the awkward encounter they’d just witnessed. Well, truth be told Liam had actually been completely oblivious that it was even One Direction who were standing in the middle of their café and wasn’t aware anything was amiss until Sophia had filled him in. He really did walk around with his head up his arse at times!

When Fizzy had called Lottie telling her Harry was at the café and was leaving them tickets at the box office for their show, she’d been so excited. She’d imagined a big romantic reunion, only to find out from Louis now that he hadn’t said a word to him. To make matters worse, he’d also let him believe Ernie and Dot were his _actual_ children.

“What was I supposed to do Lotts? He was surrounded by other people and the kids and Liam and Soph were all there – not really an opportune time to just blurt out that _oh yeah, by the way my parents died the night I walked out and yeah, been a bit busy since then_!”

“Holy Shit Lou! Couldn’t you ask him to talk in the other room or something?”

“I was in shock Lottie! The last thing I expected to see today was Harry fucking Styles walking through my door – I could barely speak! It was painful and …..and wonderful and _Jesus_ he looked beautiful! Like, really – he was intoxicating Lotts, you should have seen him! When he hugged me I just, I don’t know – it felt like coming home you know? It was incredible – like for a brief moment we were back in those heady, wonderful days four years ago and I felt euphoric. Then the moment passed to really say something and it was just……too late.” He sighed. “And that’s a good thing I suppose, because what would it have achieved? It could never work between us, so maybe him thinking I’d moved on and had kids with someone else was a good thing, because there’s nothing to be gained by him knowing the truth, trust me.”

“You’re wrong Lou!” she bit out angrily. “Whatever the outcome, that boy deserved to know the truth. He deserved to know you didn’t abandon him and I don’t think you’re being fair!”

“That was my call to make and I made it” Louis replied “and when you go to the concert tomorrow night, you’re not to say a word to him to you understand?”

“Oh I understand alright” she drawled “I understand you’re a fucking coward Lou!” With that she stormed out of the kitchen.

Louis took a deep breath and headed upstairs pasting a smile on his face that didn’t reach his eyes, reading Ernie and Dot a bedtime story and hustled Daisy and Phoebe off to bed. He then made his way back downstairs to wash the lunchboxes ready for the next day. He ironed uniforms and filled out the permission slips for the twins’ kindy excursion and finished loading the dishwasher. Harry would be on stage now, he thought. How different their lives were!

By the time he trudged back up the stairs, the house was quiet – Lottie and Fizz both in their rooms with their doors closed and both sets of twins asleep.

He ran himself a shower and hopped under the steaming water, soothing his tired aching muscles. He swore he could still smell the faint trace of Harry’s cologne on his skin, but he knew it was just his mind playing tricks on him. He thought back to the way Harry had looked that afternoon. He’d been so stunning he’d taken Louis’ breath away. There were still traces of the sixteen year old cherub-faced boy he’d fallen in love with, but Harry had grown even more beautiful with the passing years. He closed his eyes and pictured every feature – the broad shoulders, the green eyes, the full pink lips, the dimples when he smiled. He felt himself grow hard just thinking about those lips, remembering how they felt on his skin all those years ago. Without thinking too much about what he was doing, he lathered up his hand, stroking himself slowly and picturing Harry here beside him. He increased his pace, running his hand up and down his length, sliding his thumb over the head and biting down a gasp. He braced one hand on the wall in front of him and closed his eyes, picturing Harry’s face as he quickened his strokes and before he could blink, he was coming over his own hand, the evidence quickly washing down the drain. He leaned forward, placing his forehead on the tiles and thinking, _so this is what my life has come to?_

 

XXXX

 

When Lottie and Fizzy arrived at the box office, there were two passes waiting for them as promised. They were VIP Section tickets, along with a backstage pass. The girls were so excited and couldn’t wait to get to their seats. They’d gone for dinner before the show and discussed what had happened all those years ago, talked about Harry’s right to know what had happened and agreed that he should be told, regardless of Louis’ opinion. They had decided that they would pull him aside and tell him everything as soon as they had the chance.

The concert was incredible and the seats the girls had were right in front. Harry gave them a smile and wave when he was on stage, as well as a wink whenever he passed them and while they were enjoying every minute of the concert – they were itching to get to Harry and explain things to him.

Their chance came afterward, when they were ushered backstage. Harry hugged them both and introduced them politely to Niall and Zayn. Lottie blushed when Niall smiled at her and Fizzy frowned at her because, _since when did she blush?_

The boys all started making polite conversation but Lottie couldn’t contain herself, she was bursting to say what she’d been waiting all day to say.

“Harry! We need to talk to you. It’s important” she blurted out.

Fizzy nodded along and Harry looked at them both warily. “Ah, I don’t really think…”

“It’s about the night you and Louis broke up!” interrupted Fizzy, unable to wait any longer. “There’s something you don’t know.”

“Look girls” replied Harry “There’s really nothing to be gained by….”

“Harry! Please, just listen!” exclaimed Lottie, desperate now to just get it out. This earned her a raised eyebrow from both Zayn and Niall, but she ignored that and carried on speaking while she had the nerve. “When Louis left that night, he had every intention of coming running back to you. He was going to come out – he _loved_ you and was willing to do anything to make you happy. He…”

“He left Lottie – he left and didn’t come back. It doesn’t matter what he said…” Harry interrupted.

“Something happened that night” Fizzy exclaimed, talking over him and very agitated now. “He didn’t come back because, well, because…”

“Because our parents died that night Harry” Lottie finished quietly.

Harry, Zayn and Niall all let out a gasp as Lottie’s words registered. Now that the worst was out, Lottie was unable to stop, it all came pouring out.

“They had a car accident on Tallowood Drive – you know that blind corner? Well, they died, but the doctors managed to save the babies – remember Mum was pregnant?” Harry was nodding absently as he processed what Lottie was saying.

“Louis became our sole carer - a parent of _six_ kids at _eighteen years old_ Harry. He was handed two newborn babies and four siblings – Daisy and Phoebe were only five years old - and told he was now responsible for us, that his parents had died. The only relative we had was old Aunt Lesley and she didn’t want us. He could barely process what had happened, let alone how to care for babies. We had to try and arrange a funeral and sort out the estate. It was so overwhelming - almost unbearable, and so his stuff with you got pushed to the side because it was too much on top of that. Then when he had time to think about it again, he thought he no longer had anything to offer you. Who’d want to get involved in the chaos our lives had become? And it really was a mess in the early days, I can tell you! He thought it would be selfish to tie you down to someone whose life was turned upside down – was no longer even his own.   So he just let you go. But he did it because he loved you, not because he didn’t care.”

Fizzy spoke then, tears streaming down her face. “Lou gave up everything – his whole life – to care for us, to keep us together as a family unit. He moved us to Manchester for a new start and bought a house and the coffee shop with the life insurance money we got. He works so hard and he has missed out on so many things for us. We couldn’t have asked for a better parent or a better brother.”

She started sobbing in earnest then and Lottie put an arm around her before continuing. “He’s the only parent Ernie and Dot have ever known. They started calling him Daddy when they were just toddlers and he didn’t want to take that from them, so he took the name happily. They really are his – he’s raised them literally from the day they were born and he loves them like his own children, perhaps more in a way.”

The room fell silent as the boys all processed what they’d just been told. Harry’s face was covered in tear tracks as he cried for the boy he loved, for everything he’d suffered. He could not even imagine what Louis had gone through over the past four years – how hard his life must have been. How hard all of their lives must have been. He looked up at the girls then and pulled them into his arms saying “I’m so sorry you had to go through that! I’m so sorry!”

Both girls clung to him, sobbing in earnest now - emotional after opening old wounds.

Zayn and Niall sat shell shocked, stunned by the girls’ story, unable to do anything but watch as Harry and the girls shared their grief for all that was lost that night.

When they’d calmed down and Niall had made them all tea, Harry spoke again.

“So that guy - the one who brought the kids in? He wasn’t….”

“Who Liam?” asked Fizzy, looking at Lottie and both dissolving into giggles.

“Liam is Lou’s best mate” replied Lottie. “His very _straight_ best mate. In fact, you probably saw his girlfriend Sophia behind the counter?”

“Oh” replied Harry. “I thought…”

“I’m sure you did when you thought he had kids with someone! Also,” she added thoughtfully “I guess they do act like an old married couple at times – they’ve been friends a long time and Liam has been like a co-parent at times, what with helping out a lot and being there for Lou.”

 

Harry couldn’t control the stab of jealousy he felt that someone else had been such a big part of Lou’s life, even if it wasn’t romantic. He was instinctively possessive of Louis and hated the thought of anyone taking his place.

“So, there’s no one else?” he asked.

“Never has been – I mean, I’m sure there’s probably been casual hook ups, but none that he ever let us see. To be honest, I don’t know how he would’ve found the time in the first three years. It was bedlam! When I turned eighteen last year he went out a bit more often, but “she shrugged “there’s never really been any boyfriends. I think he didn’t want to bring anyone into our little family. We’d worked so hard to find a consistency for the young ones and he didn’t want to upset their stability, I guess. I know he’s been lonely at times, but…as he always says, it is what it is. I also think he never got over you. Nobody else ever really measured up.”

“Lou’s gonna be so mad we told you!” said Fizzy.

“Yeah” agreed Lottie “he specifically forbid me from saying anything to you so he’s gonna be pissed!”

“Why?” asked Harry, frowning.

“Because he’s an idiot!” Lottie replied. “And also because he thought there was nothing good to be gained from knowing the truth. Your life is just so different from his, you know? Like he said – you’re taking on the world, becoming a super star and he’s making school lunches!”

“But that’s…” Harry started.

“Ridiculous! I know – we told him you deserved to know the truth. But Louis is so used to doing what he thinks is best for others now, that it’s second nature. He’s convinced that you’d feel sorry for him and he doesn’t want that – wants you to go out and live this amazing pop star lifestyle without feeling obligated to him. It’s like he said during X-Factor – you were too wonderful not to share with the world and we shouldn’t be selfish.” Lottie laughed and shook her head at her brother’s words.

Harry just stared back at her. “He said that?” he whispered.

Lottie smiled softly back at him. “Oh Harry – he loves you so much! He’s never stopped loving you! He only wants you to be happy and he’s convinced you’d be happier thinking he walked out. That it’d be easier for you to move on and forget him that way. Fizz and I disagreed. I hope we were right to tell you?” she added.

Harry was quiet for a moment, looking down at his hands before he looked back at them, his face turning hard, determined.

“I need to see him! I need you to take me to see him right now!” he said, his tone letting them know he would tolerate no arguing. He was already standing up and gathering his coat.

“I’ll get Alberto” said Niall.

Lottie looked over at Niall and smiled. “Thank you.”

He blushed and nodded, before leaving the room to organise Harry a ride.

 

XXXX

 

When they arrived back at the house, Harry told Alberto not to wait. He made arrangements to be collected in the late morning tommorrow. Whatever happened, Lottie assured him he could sleep on the couch. If he had any say in the matter, he would be sleeping where he belonged – where he’d always belonged - next to Louis.

They let themselves into the house quietly as it was after midnight. There was a soft glow coming from the lounge room so they headed in to see if Louis was still up.

Harry’s heart clenched as he was greeted with the most adorable sight he’d ever seen. Louis was laying on the couch, sound asleep. Ernie was laying along his shirtless torso, hand clasped around Louis’ thumb while his other hand lay across his heart. His little mouth was wide open and he was softly snoring. Doris lay curled around Louis’ head, her hand tangled in his hair and her head on his shoulder. She was clutching a very worn teddy bear with her other arm. It can’t have been comfortable and yet Louis looked like it was normal for him, his body adjusting to the two intruders pliantly. The picture before him tugged at Harry’s heart, flooding him with warmth.

The girls just rolled their eyes and tip toed over to lift the twins off and carry them upstairs. Fizzy took Dot because she weighed a little less than Ernie, but still struggled as she headed up the stairs, groaning with the effort. The twins didn’t even stir, but Louis had and as the girls left the room, he registered Harry’s presence.

Harry was drinking in the sight of him, his tanned torso littered with tattoos, his lean body defined but slim, with a tiny little tummy just above his trouser waist. He was stunning and Harry’s mouth had gone dry.

At first Louis was confused, his sleep-addled brain unable to separate dream from reality. He thought he was imagining Harry and frowned sleepily while he shook his head, trying to clear his brain before looking back over at Harry, who was looking back with a fond smile as he watched him wake up. Harry was so endeared it was ridiculous.

“Hello Lou” he said softly.

Louis’ eyes widened then “Haz?” he asked.

Harry nodded, not sure where to start, what to say.

Realisation dawned on Louis’ face then. “The girls told you didn’t they?” he asked quietly.

Harry nodded again, still silent, overwhelmed now that he was actually here. He wanted to say so many things, but his mouth refused to work.

Louis took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving Harry’s. “Look Haz….”

Before he could finish the sentence, Harry was on him, taking his face in his hands and claiming his lips in a searing kiss. It only took a second of hesitation before Louis was returning it with the same desperate need he felt in Harry.

It was a kiss that contained all the pent up emotion of the past four years - the hurt, the pain, the regret, the sadness, but also the joy at having found each other again. It was frantic and yearning and wonderful and it was almost too much to bear.

Harry was on his knees between Louis’ legs and he quickly climbed into his lap, whimpering with the need to get closer, to leave not one inch of space between them. Louis clutched at him, pulled him in further as they grew more and more intense. As Harry ran his hands over Louis’ smooth skin, Louis gasped. His insides had turned molten and every nerve ending was on fire at Harry’s touch. He started pawing at Harry’s clothes, suddenly too much separating them. He needed to feel Harry’s skin, touch him.

Harry was on board with that idea, not able to get his clothes off quick enough, while refusing to take his lips from Louis’. He was like a starving man having gone without food for too long, now devouring all he could get. When they were both naked from the waist up, they came together, skin to skin and Harry thought he may explode from sheer sensation.

They pulled apart panting and Louis pushed him off his lap. “Upstairs Haz, the kids…”

Harry understood – he was worried the kids would come downstairs and catch them. He nodded and stood up, pulling Louis up and keeping hold of his hand as he kissed him again. They made their way upstairs as quietly as they could, entering Louis’ room and closing the door, locking it.

As soon as the lock clicked into place, Harry reclaimed his mouth. He backed him up to the wall, moving his mouth to Louis’ neck and sucking on the spot just above his pulse point and eliciting a gasp from Louis, who thrust his hips forward instinctively at the shot of pure pleasure that ran through him. That had always been his sweet spot and Harry grinned as he remembered how it drove him wild, nipping at it one more time for good measure and dropping to his knees. He yanked Louis’ tracksuit bottoms down roughly, taking his throbbing length into his mouth with blinking.

Louis’ head fell back against the wall and his mouth was wide open on a moan as he felt the tears gather in his eyes. It had been so long since anyone had touched him, since he’d _let_ anyone touch him and having Harry here, swallowing him down the way he’d dreamt of so often in the last four years, was too much to bear. The tears slid down his cheeks as he looked down and saw Harry looking back up at him, working him with his tongue and stroking the base with his hand. It was heaven and he never wanted it to end, even as he chased his climax.

“Haz….” He groaned out, slipping his fingers into Harry’s hair and tugging slightly, drawing a moan of pleasure from Harry and sending a shiver through him. His pace quickened and he brought a hand up to cup Louis’ balls, sending him over the edge.

“Harry! I’m…I’m gonna…..Oooohhhh FFuuuucck!” He spilled into Harry’s mouth, Harry sucking him through it before pulling off, gasping. Louis was breathing heavily as he came down and as Harry looked up at him, mouth swollen and pupils blown, he dragged him to his feet and smashed their mouths together, tasting himself on Harry’s tongue. Harry groaned into his mouth, crowding up against him, pressing him into the wall. Louis’ hands slid down between them, cupping Harry through his jeans. Harry pulled off, unable to catch his breath as desire pounded through his veins. He was aching, his shaft throbbing and leaking, causing a wet spot on his pants.

Louis buried his face in Harry’s neck, catching his breath before pulling back and looking into Harry’s eyes and walking him backward toward the bed. He stopped just short of the edge and worked on getting Harry’s jeans down, both of them giggling as he struggled with the skin tight garments. He eventually got them removed and pushed Harry backward onto the mattress, following him down and settling between his things, reaching out to wrap his hand around Harry’s length. Harry hissed at the contact, both too much and not enough. Louis leaned down and licked a stripe across the slit, gathering up all the pre-come leaking there, before running his tongue along the underside of his shaft. Harry was panting heavily.

“Please Lou..” he pleaded softly.

Louis smiled, a glorious joy-filled smile that left Harry breathless, before he took him down, moaning with satisfaction at finally having his mouth on Harry. He was relentless, driving Harry crazy as he sucked him hard and fast, giving him no chance to catch his breath. When he ran his hand past Harry’s balls and placed a small amount of pressure on his entrance, Harry cried out, shaking as he spilled into his mouth.

They lay side by side, hands joined between them for a long while, neither speaking. Words seemed inadequate, at this moment, to convey all they were feeling and they were completely overwhelmed.

After what seemed like an eternity, Harry rolled to the side, prompting Louis to do the same. Their left hands were still joined between them and Harry now raised his right hand to cup Louis’ cheek, wiping away the residue of tears from earlier.

“I love you” he said gently. “I have always loved you – only ever you. It breaks my heart that you have been through all this alone. I should’ve been here, should’ve been with you.”

The tears returned in earnest now as Louis failed to contain everything he was feeling. There was so much that needed to be said, but he couldn’t – not right now. Right now, he was content to selfishly have this moment with Harry, bask in his love and pretend it could all work out between them. He would give himself tonight – he deserved that didn’t he? He deserved to have a little memory to see him through what would be a dark time ahead?

All he said was “I love you too Harry. I will always love you.” He pulled him in, joining their mouths again. As they pulled apart, Louis spoke again.

“Harry, will you do something for me?”

“Anything” Harry replied without hesitation.

“Will you fuck me? Please?” Louis whispered. “I - I need you, I need to feel you inside me, as close as you can be.”

Harry’s gaze heated instantly and his lips parted. He nodded and Louis smiled tenderly back at him, pulling him back in.

They kissed ravenously, Harry rolling them to hover over Louis. Their hips rolled together instinctively and they both moaned as the friction sent pleasure shooting through their bodies. Louis reached blindly out to find the lube in his bedside drawer and pressed into Harry’s hands in a wordless plea. As Harry leaned back to coat his fingers, Louis grabbed a condom out of the unopened box at the back of the drawer.

“Hope these aren’t out of date” he huffed out a laugh. “Bit optimistic buying them at the time really!” Harry giggled and leaned in to reclaim his mouth.

When Harry’s magnificent fingers circled his hole, Louis lost all ability to think, it had been four very long years and he’d never let anyone else fuck him the entire time. He wanted this so badly – hadn’t realised just how much until this moment.

Harry pressed a finger in and he made a low keening noise. Harry slid the finger in and out several times.

“God Lou” he gasped “you’re so tight baby, so tight, _God_!”

“There’s been nobody since you Harry” he panted and Harry groaned.

“Jesus Lou!” Harry groaned “I love that there’s been nobody else - you’re mine, you’ve always been mine.”

“Always” confirmed Louis, letting out a choked cry as Harry added a second finger, twisting to catch his prostate. He took his time, working Louis open slowly, tenderly. He added a third finger and Louis was thrusting back, moaning his name.

“Fuck Harry! Feels so good” he breathed, pushing back onto Harry’s fingers and jerking as they found his prostate again. “Oh God!”

Harry pulled his fingers out and slipped on the condom with shaking hands before placing his hands either side of Louis’ head and hovering over him again. He bore his weight on one hand as he used the other to guide himself to Louis’ entrance, sliding in slowly with a sigh of contentment. Their eyes locked and they held as Harry bottomed out, the feeling so right, so perfect. They stilled, just drinking in the sight of the other, before Harry leant down and took his mouth, starting a rhythm that quickly built in pace.

Louis wrapped his legs around Harry’s arse, linking his ankles and pulling him in as hard as he could on every thrust. Harry cried out as he slammed into Louis over and over, as he shifted, his angle changed and he hit Louis’ prostate dead on, drawing a shattered cry from his lips. He kept the angle, the sensation turning Louis into a babbling, incoherent mess. He came soon after, a strangled cry leaving his lips as he spurted up his own stomach and chest. The sight of his face contorted in ecstasy sent Harry over the edge. He stiffened, climaxing with a burst of pleasure, spreading out to his extremities and forcing a choked sob from his throat as he shook with the tremors coursing through him.

He collapsed onto Louis, completely spent and Louis’ arms slid around his torso immediately, pulling him in and holding him tight as emotion overwhelmed him and he started to sob, saying Louis’ name over and over.

“I missed you so much Louis” he whispered.

Louis let his tears return as he whispered “I missed you too Harry, more than you’ll ever know.”


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phew - sorry this is late but life is super hectic right now!
> 
> So Louis is basically and idiot - lucky Harry is not taking any of his shit!
> 
> Thank you to the lovey peeps who commented or sent kudos - big love :)  
> Hope you enjoy xxx

When Harry woke the next morning, he reached out for Louis with eyes still closed, but instead of Louis’ warm naked body, his hand came into contact with a small squirmy body that giggled at his touch. He cracked one eye open to find the younger set of twins lying on the mattress, chins resting on their hands, watching him. They giggled again as he opened both eyes wide in surprise.

“Hello” said Ernest. “Who are you?”

Harry smiled dopily at his little audience. “I’m Harry. Who are you?”

“I’m Ernie Tomlinson” the little boy told him “and this is my sister Doris” he pointed at Dot.

“Nice to meet you” Harry replied. “Were you watching me sleep?”

When they both nodded, he laughed. “I see, well, that’s a bit creepy, but OK!”

“We came in to find Daddy” explained Doris “but he wasn’t here – you were. Why are you in our Daddy’s bed?”

Harry felt his pulse quicken at the word Daddy. His head was still spinning after last night’s revelation.  Daddy Louis had made an appearance or two in his dreams and Harry couldn't get enough of him.

“Well” he replied carefully “your Dad was very kind and let me have a sleepover in his bed last night, because we wanted to stay up late and chat and we fell asleep. He thought I’d sleep better here than on the couch.”

Ernie nodded, the answer obviously acceptable. “He lets me sleep in here with him too, sometimes. When I can’t sleep, it helps me to have a snuggle. Did you have a snuggle too?”

Harry bit back a grin as he replied “a little bit, yeah.”

“My Daddy is the best snuggler!” said Dot proudly, and Harry was just so endeared by these two adorable creatures.

“Speaking of your Daddy – um, do you know where he went?”

They both nodded. “He’s in the kitchen, making the tea. You have to have tea in the morning when you’re a grown up.” Ernest answered. Harry nodded in agreement, dimples showing as he smiled.

“Do you want us to show you where the kitchen is?” asked Doris.

“Why thank you” replied Harry, beaming at her “that would be wonderful!”

He hesitated for a moment, realising he was naked under the blankets. “Listen, I think I may get dressed in my clothes before I come down – do you think you could wait outside while I put them on?”

They agreed immediately and waited outside the door, chatting non-stop at him while he threw his clothes on. When he walked out of the room, they each grabbed one of his hands as they all made their way downstairs.

When they entered the kitchen, Louis seemed startled. He’d been deep in his own thoughts, standing at the counter in front of a steaming mug of tea and he jumped a little as they entered the room, like he hadn’t even heard them clattering down the stairs.

Harry drank in the sight of him in his pyjama bottoms, no shirt and bare feet. His hair was sleep messy and his eyes were heavy. He looked over at Harry and smiled fondly and Harry’s entire body responded. He was moving toward Louis before he even knew what he was doing. As he approached, he reminded himself of the children’s presence and hesitated, but Louis pulled him into a warm hug.

“Good Morning H” he said softly.

“Morning” Harry replied, running his hand discreetly down Louis’ side, leaving a trail of goose bumps on his skin. He felt Louis shiver at his touch and smiled.

“I see you met the terrors” Louis grinned at Ernie and Dot. “I didn’t know they were up yet.”

“Hey!” protested Dot “we’re not terrors Daddy!”

Louis laughed, his eyes crinkling at the corners and Harry will never stop wanting to see that smile. Wanted to see it every day of his life.

“Ok, you’re not terrors – but I hope you didn’t wake poor Harry. He needs his sleep you know?”

“We didn’t!” answered Ernie proudly “we just watched him until he woke up by himself!”

“Oh God, that’s so creepy!” said Louis, scrunching his nose up.

“That’s what I said” Harry laughed, nodding his head when Louis held up a mug, asking if he wanted a cup of tea.

Harry sat at the table and the twins immediately sat one on each of his knees. Dot slung an arm around his neck and placed her other hand on his face, running it all over, pulling and feeling each part and cataloguing his features. He sat still, content to let her explore while Ernie proceeded to tell him about the Ninja Turtles Van he wanted for his birthday.

“It’s only twenty six days till I’m five!” he told Harry excitedly.

“Me too!” added Daisy.

"Wow! Five is so old!" replied Harry, chuckling.

"I know!  It's soooo old - it means we go to big school next year!" answered Daisy.

Louis watched their easy, relaxed interaction with Harry as he made the tea. When they’d all walked into the kitchen together, holding hands, Louis’ heart had skipped a beat. It was like a dream that he’d had many times over had come to life and it messed with his head. He felt weak imaginging what it would be like to have that every morning.

Louis placed his tea in front of him, shooing the twins away. “For heaven’s sake guys, let Harry have his tea in peace! Go and put cartoons on yeah?”

The twins groaned but ran off to do as they were told, each shouting “See you later Harry!” as they left.

Louis watched them go with a fond smile and it was clear to Harry how much he loved them. He turned back to find Harry watching him tenderly and his face closed over as he said “Harry, we need to talk about last night.”

Harry must have sensed something in Louis’ tone, because he put his tea down and frowned. “I guess we do, yeah” he answered slowly “but why do I get the feeling I’m not gonna like what you have to say?”

Louis looked at him, his face miserable. “Haz, you know how much I love you ..”

“But?” Harry’s jaw clenched.

Louis let out a deep sigh. “But it would never work between us. You have to know that? Our lives are so different! I work six days a week, I’m bringing up six fucking kids – although Lottie’s an adult now, but still – my days are about school lunches and housework and running a business. I’ve been pooped on, vomited on and it’s not an ordinary day if I don’t have something sticky on my clothes somewhere! I don’t own a shirt that doesn’t have a stain of some sort on it! I’m exhausted all the time, I rarely go out and last night was one of the rare nights I didn’t have at least one child in my bed! You on the other hand, are selling out tours and making records and living a decidedly glamorous life, when mine is anything but! Do you think having a boyfriend and six step-kids is the image your management is going for? Our lives couldn’t be more opposite and trying to reconcile them would be impossible!”

“So last night was…?”

“Me selfishly wanting something to remember you by, wanting just one more night with you, because I'm weak” answered Louis.

“I see. Any other objections?” Harry asked quietly. “Other than that you think our lives are too different – is there anything else I should know?”

“No” answered Louis, confused “but I don’t see…”

“I know why you think you have to do this Lou” Harry butted in “I get it- I do, but I don’t agree with you. You are sacrificing yourself again and it’s not going to happen – I’m not going to let it! I just found you again after all this time and I’m not going anywhere! You took that decision from me four years ago and I’ll be damned if I’ll let you do it again! You can tell yourself whatever you like, but what it all boils down to, is you being scared – you’re scared that we can’t make this work around my career, that I don’t understand what your life is really like and that maybe I won’t be able to handle it – well guess what? I’m scared too – but not about any of that bullshit you’re feeding yourself! I’m fucking petrified that the person I’ve been in love with for four years is going to walk out of my life again and I just don’t think I could live through it a second time.”

He walked over to Louis and poked him in the chest as he continued. “So you’re going to man up and grow and set of balls and take a chance on me, because I fucking deserve it and so do you! You’ve suffered enough Lou – you’ve been _alone_ long _enough_ and so have I. Let me in - let me share your life, the way I was supposed to before fate stepped in. Let me love you the way you need to be loved and love me back – that’s all I’m asking for.” He grabbed Louis’ hands in his and smiled at him tenderly. “Take a chance on me Lou – I won’t let you down!”

“But what if…” Louis began.

“Fuck what if!” exclaimed Harry. “We deserve this chance Lou! I’ll do whatever it takes to make this work and you should be doing the same!” He paused before saying hesitantly “unless, well…unless – _do_ you love me Lou?”

Louis grabbed Harry’s face between his hands, angry. “Harry, don’t you dare! I love you, don’t ever doubt that. You’re everything to me! That’s why I don’t want to tie you down to my life, don’t you see?” Tears were trickling down his cheeks now. “I’d be a burden to you.”

Harry’s eyes welled as he smiled at Louis “You silly idiot – you’re not tying me down! You’re setting me free – free from the pain of being without you! You have no idea how diminished my life has been – how living without you has made it so much harder. _That_ was the burden! I need you in my life Louis, and I won’t give you up without a fight. I know it may not be easy – but neither is the alternative. Look, if all you can manage at first is friends – that’s what we’ll do. Anything, just don’t cut me out, OK?”

Louis stared at him for a moment and he raised his eyebrows, wordlessly asking for his decision. Louis took a deep breath and threw his arms around Harry’s neck as the tears started leaking again.

“I don’t want to be without you either!” he whispered. “It’s just so fucking terrifying and I haven’t the first clue how to make our lives work together.”

“Listen” replied Harry. “We don’t have to have all the answers right now! I’m being picked up in less than twenty minutes. We have no time to even talk about how this is going to work, so maybe if we just start out slow, you know? I’m on the road anyway and we could maybe just start with calls and texts and work this out as we go along? Just don’t shut me out – that’s all I ask.”

Louis hesitated for only a moment before a grin crept onto his face. “Fuck H, are we really doing this?” he asked.

Harry threw back his head, laughing, and yelling out “yes!” before picking Louis up and twirling him around the kitchen, letting out a little whoop of celebration.

Phoebe and Daisy stopped dead as they walked into the kitchen and took in the scene before them.

“What’s going on?” asked Phoebe, before she registered Harry’s face. “Hey – Harry!”

“Harry?” said Daisy “is that you? Oh my God! What are you doing here?”

Without even waiting for an answer, they both started talking over the top of each other, not even drawing a breath as the asked about the X-Factor and One Direction and then told him about how their friends didn’t believe them when they said they knew him and “Oh My God, they will never believe you were here!”

Harry’s eyes widened as he looked over at the two girls who were just a year older than Ernest and Dot last time he saw them. “Phoebe and Daisy! My God – you’re so big now!” he laughed, interrupting them.

“Helloooo!” answered Phoebe “we’re nearly ten now!”

“Yeah” said Daisy “double digits soon!”

“Well I’m impressed!” said Harry.

“What _are_ you doing here?” asked Phoebe.

Harry smiled softly at Louis. “Oh, well I was doing a couple of concerts here in Manchester and I happened to bump into Louis and well, just thought we had some catching up to do.”

“Oh Cool!” she replied. “Now can we please get a selfie with you – nobody at school is going to believe this happened if we don’t have proof!”

Harry grinned. “Of course!”

The girls squealed and ran off to get their phones. When they returned, Harry spent ten minutes posing for photos with the girls – hamming it up as much as possible for the cameras, kissing the girls’ cheeks and generally being adorable. He also took some on his phone, telling them he’d post them on Instagram. Louis was grinning ear to ear as he watched how excited the girls were and how patient Harry was being. The girls hugged him and thanked him before running off to tell their friends.

As they left the kitchen, Harry’s phone beeped to let him know the car had arrived.

“That’s my ride” Harry said sadly. He took Louis in his arms once again and hugged him tightly. Then he pulled back, kissed his lips and said “no over thinking this when I leave OK? I’ll call you later and we’ll just take one day at a time.”

Louis smiled and nodded. “Just you try and get rid of me now Styles! You’ll be sorry you know!”

Harry took his face in both hands and replied “never” before kissing him once more and then crossing to the lounge room to bid farewell to Ernie and Doris. Both children flung themselves at him, giggling as he lifted them up and spun them around, promising to visit again soon.

Louis stood on the doorstep and waved him off as the car drove away and Harry kept waving until he couldn’t see Louis any longer, the smile never leaving his face.

When he turned to see Paul smirking at him, he couldn’t even pretend he wasn’t floating on air. He just continued to grin stupidly.

He had Louis back. He was on top of the world.

 

XXXX

 

By the time nine o’clock had come and gone, Harry had already texted Louis three times.

**8.45am**

On the road to Leeds now. Missing u already Lou xx

**_8.47am_ **

_OMG I miss u too H - If my body wasn’t telling me otherwise, I’d think last night was a dream. ;)_

**8.49am**

Last night was incredible Lou. Can’t wait to do it again ;)

**_8.51am_ **

_Me either! Oops - Now look what you’ve done – gotta go take a long shower ;)_

 

**8.55am**

Not fair! Sitting in a car trying to cover my boner now!

**_9.07am_ **

_Wish you were here._

 

Louis had attached a picture to the last text - one of himself naked from the waist up in the shower, hair wet and slicked back, water streaming down his torso and a big goofy grin on his face. Harry shifted uncomfortably in his seat, staring at the picture with his mouth hanging open and eyes half closed.

“Fuck off! Are you sexting right now?” laughed Niall, sitting opposite him in the back of the van.

“No!” Harry replied, cheeks heating and a smirk appearing on his face.

“You totally are!” Niall countered “you’re fucking getting off right next to me, you dirty dirty boy Styles! Put that shit away before you cream your jeans – I don’t need to see that!”

“Niall!” Harry replied, turning a lovely shade of beetroot and chuckling at Niall’s comment.

“Let him have at it Niall” Zayn piped up, sitting with his eyes still closed. “Took them long enough to find each other – they deserve to have a bit of fun.”

Niall grinned at Harry. “So was it good, seeing him again?”

“Everything I’d imagined and more” replied Harry. “It was just so amazing! I still can’t believe it.”

“I’m happy for you mate, really. I hope it all works out for you” answered Niall.

“Me too” said Harry quietly, looking fondly down at Louis’ smiling face.

 

XXXX

 

When Louis walked downstairs from his shower, it was to find Lottie and Fizzy sat in the kitchen, having breakfast. Lottie smirked at him knowingly, while Fizzy grinned.

“Soooooooo” said Fizzy. “What happened with you and Harry?”

“Don’t need to tell me” giggled Lottie “room next to yours remember?”

“Eeewwww! really Lotts?” replied Louis “I don’t need to hear that shit from my sister, alright?”

Both girls snorted as he replied “and what happened last night is none of your business!” He went on to sigh and add “This morning’s developments, however, may need to be the subject of a family meeting.”

“Yes!” cheered Fizzy. “You’re together?”

“Well, we’re taking it one day at a time, but….yeah I guess so. I mean, there wasn’t much time to talk about it, but we're going to work it out as we go along.”

“That’s wonderful Lou” said Lottie softly, knowing how he felt about Harry.

“Yeah” he smiled back at her. “I guess I should thank you both for disobeying me  - but don’t take this as a sign you can get away with that in the future OK?”

“Except when you’re being a self-destructive idiot – then it’s OK!” replied Lottie.

"Well yeah, I guess then it would be OK!" agreed Louis.

 

XXXX

 

The family meeting took place an hour later and Louis explained, in the simplest way he was able, what was happening between he and Harry.

“So, you’re going to be boyfriends again” stated Phoebe, unperturbed. “Cool.”

“Yeah Lou, that’s awesome! I always liked Harry and now he’s _famous_ as well!” added Daisy excitedly.

“I like Harry!” exclaimed Ernie, not wanting to be left out.

“Me too!” agreed Dot. “I like him the most!”

“I think Louis likes him the most!” laughed Lottie and all the kids joined in as Louis smiled.

“So, I guess I just want to make sure you guys are OK with Harry and me being together?” Everybody nodded and he continued. “And also, you will need to keep it as our secret for the time being – just until we work out the details. Deal?”

They all agreed and Louis grinned at them. “Well” he said “I guess we’ll see how it goes then!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for hanging in there. Next Post in three days :) x


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took longer than expected - had a huge weekend and a monster hangover on Sunday, which left me in no condition to write! Oops! 
> 
> As usual, proofing has been somewhere between non-existent and half-hearted! Please forgive my mistakes.
> 
> Thanks for reading and for letting me know what you think - some of you are uncanny at guessing where I'm heading with the storyline - WOW! (you know who you are SBB!!)
> 
> Come say hi on Twitter @mezziedemo.

Liam rolled his eyes at Sophia as he walked into the kitchen to find Louis huddled in the corner for the fifth time that day, murmuring into his phone, besotted look on his face. Sophia grinned at him, knowing it was all for show – they couldn’t be happier for Louis.

“He’s been grinning like an idiot all morning” Sophia chuckled “he’s got it bad!”

“I know” Liam smiled “It’s so nice to see him have something for him, you know?” He seemed to hesitate, so Sophia prompted “But?”

Liam sighed. “But….I just hope he isn’t going to get hurt. I mean, I’m all for them giving it a go, even though I don’t really know him yet, but the reasons Louis was reluctant to jump into this were all good, sound reasons. Like, if there’s a chance it could work out for them, then I say go for it – it’s just that he’s been through _so much_ and I don’t want to see him having to say goodbye to another significant person in his life. No matter how much they love each other – this is going to be hard for both of them.”

“Li, you can’t protect him from being hurt ever again – that’s not life, is it? You take chances and some pay off and some bring you pain, but you can’t _never_ take chance because you’re frightened of being hurt! That’s hardly living! Let him enjoy this – let’s see where it leads, and if we need to pick up the pieces later we’ll deal with it then, OK?”

“OK” he smiled, happy to let the subject go for now, but still feeling uneasy about it.

 

XXXX

 

He was seated at the kitchen table helping Daisy and Phoebe with their homework when Harry called again. He looked down at his phone and a fond smile spread across his face.

“Hey you” he said softly as he answered.

“Hey yourself” answered Harry. “Just calling before things get crazy and we have to go on stage. We won’t finish till after you’re in bed so I won’t wake you.”

“You know I don’t mind H – love hearing your voice, even if you wake me up.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want you worn out and exhausted when I finally get back there to see you – I have big plans for you!” Harry teased. “What are you up to?”

Louis laughed as he replied “helping Daisy & Pheebs with their homework and cooking some pasta – _real_ exciting stuff going on here! What about you?”

“Not much, just waiting to go into hair and makeup.” He hesitated before adding “listen Lou, we’ve got an interview before the show for a teen magazine and I wanted to just let you know not to be upset if I say I’m single, yeah? They usually ask about our love lives and it’s just that I haven’t had a chance to tell management and I also don’t want people snooping around or bothering you just yet. It’d be nice if we just have a chance to feel our way with this for a while. I hope that’s alright with you?”

“I agree totally Haz – I don’t exactly relish having the spotlight on us when we haven’t even really worked out how this is going to work yet. It’s especially important for the kids that things be as normal as possible for as long as possible, so let’s take our time and keep it between us for now.”

Harry released the breath he’d been holding and smiled. “Yeah, I’m not ready to share you just yet. It kind of feels like we’re in this little bubble and I feel like when we let other people in, it’s going to make everything different.”

“Let’s just take it a step at a time H, like we said – nice and slow.”

“OK love, listen, I have to go but I’ll call you tomorrow OK?”

“Yeah, goodnight Haz”

“Goodnight Lou” Harry replied, then added quietly “love you babe.”

Louis’ pulse quickened at his words. He still had trouble believing this was really happening. “I love you too Harry, _so_ much.”

When he hung up and turned back to the table, Daisy and Phoebe were grinning back at him. Daisy started mimicking him as Phoebe chuckled gleefully.

“I love you Harry, mwah, mwah, I just love you so much!” she teased and they both dissolved into giggles.

Louis felt his lips twitch, even as he tried for a stern face. “Alright you pair, let’s get back to work! We need to have this finished by the time the twins finish their bath time with Lottie.”

“Did we tell you Harry posted the photo of us with him on his Instagram? The kids at school had a shit fit!” chuckled Daisy.

“Language Daisy!” he scolded. “And yes, I saw it – there must have been a few kids eating humble pie then?”

“Oh yeah!” grinned Phoebe “and we loved _every_ minute of it! Harry is _so cool_!”

Louis had smiled when he’d seen Harry’s post. It was a photo of the three of them all making funny faces and he captioned it with _“so great to catch up with some of my favourite people, love you D & P”_ so there could be no argument from anyone that they didn’t know Harry. He’d ensured their social success with that one post and Louis was so grateful.

“Yeah” he agreed fondly “he is pretty cool, isn’t he?”  He shook himself and added “now let’s get this homework finished so we can have dinner!”

“Is Fizz coming out of her room for dinner tonight?” asked Daisy. “She’s been in a foul mood for days now.”

Louis sighed. He knows he has to try to talk to Fizzy, but he feels so out of his depth and she just shuts him out. Even Lottie can’t get her to open up at the moment.

“I don’t know girls, but if she does, try not to nag her OK? I have the feeling she’s struggling a bit at the moment, so cut her some slack.”

They finished their homework and Lottie Ernie and Daisy joined them in the kitchen for dinner.

Fizzy had posted a sign on her door saying “Not Hungry!” Louis and Lottie exchanged looks, but let her be – putting a plate I the fridge for her to heat up later. He really didn’t know what to do with her.  Something would have to be done, but he had no clue where to start.

 

XXXX

 

“Alright!” Niall stage whispered as he ducked into the dressing room after the show, where the boys were winding down. “Operation GHL is in motion!”

Zayn rolled his eyes. “You’re fucking ridiculous Niall! It’s not mission impossible for God’s sake!”

“What’s Operation GHL?” asked Harry, confused.

“It’s our gift to you Harry – GHL – Get. Harry. Laid.” Niall laughed like he’d made the funniest joke in the world and Zayn couldn’t help but join in. Niall’s enthusiasm for literally everything was one of the most endearing things about him and it was contagious.

“Niall – what are you talking about? I don’t want to get laid! You know I have Louis back now – what the fuck man?!”

Niall looked at him, exasperated. “I’m not trying to get you laid by some random off the street Haz! I’m talking about your boy!”

“I don’t understand” replied Harry, confused. “Lou is back in Manchester.”

“That’s right – and as of tomorrow morning, you’re about to be too! Now, we have forty eight hours of freedom before we have any commitments in Sheffield. That’s plenty of time to smuggle you back to Manchester to have two nights with your boy. Zayn and I have it all planned and we’ve talked Paul into giving you Alberto and a car first thing tomorrow morning and keeping his mouth shut about your whereabouts – if we need to, we can say you’ve made a fleeting visit home, so maybe you should give your mum a heads up.” He stopped speaking to give Harry a smug grin and Harry felt the smile spread across his own face at the thought of two whole nights with Louis.

“I can’t believe you guys arranged all this for me! You’re like, the best friends ever!” He hugged them both laughing.

“Yeah, well, it beats watching you pine away on your phone for hours every day” whined Zayn, but smiling at him fondly. “Go see your boy Haz – who knows when we’ll get our next break? I get to see Pez when we get to Scotland – Little Mix are playing in Edinburgh after us, and she’s coming up a day earlier to see me – we’ll have two whole nights together as well!”

“Just make sure old Louis knows who’s responsible for his two nights of bliss will you?” interrupted Niall. “I’d like to have a few brownie points on the board with him before I ask his sister out.”

“You’re going to do what?!” asked Harry, eyes wide in shock.

Niall blushed as he answered “well I was thinking about it! She’s fuckin’ hot man! A mean, you’d have to be blind and dumb to pass up a chance at that!”

“Heeey!” objected Harry, not all sure how he felt about Niall hooking up with Lottie. “Be careful how you speak about Charlotte” he added, putting on his best parenting face and causing Niall and Zayn to raise their eyebrows at him.

“Don’t look at me like that” he said to them both. “I’ve known Charlotte since she was fourteen and I’m dating her big brother slash parent, so just take it easy alright?”

“Geez Harry!” whined Niall “you didn’t need to go all full metal jacket with the parent thing! I wasn’t about to do anything you wouldn’t approve of!” He paused for a moment before adding “well you may not approve of _everything_ I was thinking, but my intentions are definitely honourable!”

“Ewww Niall!” replied Harry. “Stop speaking! I don’t want that mental image in my brain!”

Zayn and Niall sniggered as Harry shook his head with a fond smile. “I’ll talk to Lou while I’m there and see what he says.”

Niall jumped on his back “Thatta boy Haz! You gotta look after your old mate Nialler now, haven’t you?”

“Oh God” Harry sighed “I’m already regretting this!” But really, he was in too good a mood to worry about anything. Also, Niall was one of the most kind-hearted, beautiful people he’d ever met – he wouldn’t hurt a flea. He just had to convince Louis of that!

He grinned as he anticipated surprising Louis the next day. He would be at the shop, so Harry would get Alberto to drive him there straight away. He wasn’t going to sleep well tonight, jumping out of his skin to get back to his boy. Two whole nights. He couldn’t wait.

 

XXXX

 

When the door jingled to alert them of the arrival of a new customer, they’d just finished with the before-work morning rush and were making a cup of tea in the kitchen. Louis walked out for the kitchen and grinned as he saw who’d walked in.

“Matt! Hey mate – haven’t seen you in a couple of weeks!” He walked straight over and pulled him onto a hug. That’s when he noticed the flowers in Matt’s hands and looked up at him questioningly.

“Yeah, they’re for you!” Matt laughed. “They’re a peace offering. I’ve been so busy with exams I haven’t had a chance to catch up. Forgiven?” he pouted pathetically.

Louis giggled as he replied “Of course! I’ve been super busy myself! Thanks for these – they’re beautiful!” He looked at the flowers and then back at Matt. “Actually, I have some news – do you have time for a coffee?”

“Yeah, of course” replied Matt.

Louis directed him to a table. “Be right back!” he chirped as he headed over to the coffee machine to make them a coffee.   He smiled as he carried them back over to the table and sat opposite Matt. He wasn’t sure how to explain about Harry, but he knew he had to. He didn’t want to lead Matt on – he was such a nice guy and Louis hoped they could be friends.

Matt was eyeing him shrewdly as he sat down and before he could say a word, Matt’s face fell a little. “You’ve met someone haven’t you?” he asked.

Louis stared at him for a moment. “Not exactly” he answered slowly “more like, found them….again…it’s…complicated. How did you….?”

“I can tell” replied Matt. “You’re practically glowing and I know I didn’t put that smile on your face, so I figured someone else must have.” He shrugged a little sadly as he gave Louis a wry smile.

“Listen Matt” Louis replied “this person was someone I was in love with before the accident, before my life got crazy and we messed it up then. We recently bumped into each other and it was so unexpected. We’re taking things slow – as I said it’s _really_ fucking complicated. But I want you to know that I think you’re amazing. I’m not just saying that – you’re pretty incredible, and if he didn’t already have my heart, you would have been just what I was looking for.” He reached across the table and placed his hand over Matt’s, hoping he believed him.

Matt smiled at him. “I’m not gonna lie Louis – I’m disappointed, but, I really just want you to be happy.” He placed his other hand over Louis’ and added “You’ve been through so much, so I hope it works out. I hope he deserves you Louis – I hope he knows how lucky he is.”

“Thanks for understanding Matt. I really want us to be friends.”

“Of course” Matt smiled softly at him.

Neither boy looked up when the door jingled again, so didn’t notice Harry standing just inside the door, staring at them sitting at the table, hands entwined and flowers sitting to one side. It was the very picture of a romantic date and Harry’s heart stopped as he looked at the boy’s face that was sitting facing the door. Harry jealously acknowledged that he was a pretty looking boy with brown hair and big eyes. He was gazing at Louis with such a fond look on his face and Harry found himself glaring at the boy, hoping looks could, in fact, kill. The boy must have felt his stony gaze, because he looked up and frowned at Harry’s stormy expression.

Louis watched as Matt’s gaze was drawn to something behind him and, seeing Matt’s frown, turned to see Harry standing in the doorway of the shop, glaring at Matt like he’d like to cause him bodily harm.

“Harry?” Louis asked, surprised. He couldn’t help the way his heart started hammering and his breath became shallow. Harry still took his breath away every time he laid eyes on him. “What are you doing here? I wasn’t expecting you!” he was smiling now as he approached Harry, who was still scowling at Matt.

His eyes didn’t leave Matt’s face as he bit out “I can see that.”

“Harry” Louis warned, taking his face in his hands and looking him in the eye. “Be nice. Whatever you’re thinking – don’t.”

“Is this him?” Matt asked and Louis nodded, smiling at Harry. Harry frowned, confused as to what was going on when Louis replied “Yeah, this is him” and slid his arm around Harry’s waist. Harry’s arm instinctively wrapped around Louis’ shoulder possessively.

“Harry” said Louis “I’d like you to meet my friend Matt. Matt, this is Harry.”

The boys spent a moment looking each other over before Matt held out his hand, biting back a grin as he said “Hello mate, really no need to glare daggers at me. Louis was just telling me all about you. Also – do I know you? Because you look familiar.”

Harry was looking from Louis’ smiling face to Matt’s and not able to work out what was going on. “Um…”

“You may have seen him on X Factor” Louis helpfully supplied.

“That’s right!” chuckled Matt, his surprise obvious. “One Direction! Holy Shit Louis! Snagged yourself a real celebrity.” If there was a slight edge to his voice, Louis didn’t notice, but Harry didn’t miss it and he frowned at Matt.

“Yeah well, we’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone – we’re trying to keep it on the down low just now, trying to give ourselves a bit of time before the media gets hold of it yeah?” asked Louis.

“No problem mate” Matt replied. “Look, I’ll get going and let you have some time together, but call me whenever you get a chance OK?”

“Sure. I’ll call you next week. And thanks for the flowers – they’re really lovely.”

Matt’s eyes skimmed over Harry before he replied “just like you” quietly. Harry tensed, but Louis squeezed the arm around his waist tighter.

Matt then drawled “Nice to meet you Harry – make sure you look after him, won’t you?”

“I always look after what’s mine” Harry replied, eyes narrowing. He hopes Matt got the very unsubtle message he was sending.

It looked like he did, because he bit back a smile and said softly “good to hear.” He leaned in to give Louis a hug and looking Harry in the eye over his shoulder, he closed his eyes and snuggled into Louis’ neck for a brief second before pulling back and leaving.

Harry decided he really didn’t like this friend.

But then Louis was grinning at him and looking at him with such excitement and eagerness, that he quickly forgot about Matt, although his eyes strayed to the flowers on the table.

“I…… _I_ didn’t bring you flowers” he said, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth. “I wanted to get here as quick as I could, but like, I could get you some – I should’ve shouldn’t I?” He was rambling a bit now, having been thrown off guard when he saw Louis with Matt.

Louis grabbed his face in his hands again. “Harry. Listen to me, alright? Matt and I were set up on a blind date, but nothing happened. We became friends and we chat on the phone and have dinner now and then. When he arrived here with flowers I realised he may have come here today looking for something more, so I told him I’m in love with someone else – with you. We’re just friends. OK?”

“OK yeah” Harry replied, smiling at Louis and leaning down to place a kiss on his lips. He doesn’t add that he thinks Matt mightn’t be OK with that, even though that’s exactly what he thinks.

“Now, what are you doing here? I didn’t know you were coming – don’t you have shows?” Louis was the one babbling now, excited to have Harry there again.

Harry grinned. “We had some free time, so Niall and Zayn arranged to smuggle me down here to you!”

Louis grinned and jumped up and straddled Harry’s hips, arms around his neck and asked “how long?”

“Two nights” replied Harry.

“Well then” Louis replied grinning, “we’d better start making the most of them!”

He texted Lottie immediately and she called a few minutes later. “What’s the emergency Lou?”

“Ah well, not quite an emergency?” he said slowly “just..well…Harry has two nights off and has just shown up at the shop and I know it’s your day off and all, but I was wondering if you could cover for me this afternoon? I’ll get the kids from school, but could you help Liam and Soph?”

Lottie laughed. “Of course! I’ll be there in about half an hour.”

When he’d hung up, he set Harry up in the kitchen with a cup of tea – keeping him out of sight, and went back out to assist Liam with the pre-lunch build up that had started. It was an hour later when Lottie rushed in.

“Sorry, sorry! Took longer than I thought to get organised and I wanted to give the house a little tidy since you’re bringing your boyfriend home!”

Louis laughed as he kissed her cheek. “You are the best sister ever!”

“Yeah and just you remember that next time I want something! I’m going to hold it over your head forever.” She walked into the kitchen and walked straight over to give Harry a hug. “Hiya Harry! Good to have you back in town!”

He chuckled as he hugged her back. “Well it’s good to be back” he answered.

“Alright, alright!” interrupted Louis. “You can catch up tonight, but right now we have precisely three and a half hours until we have to collect the kids from school, so let’s get moving!”

Lottie giggled and shook her head as they raced out the back door to the car.

“Tell Liam and Soph I said goodbye!” Louis called out, Harry already dragging him bodily toward the minivan.

 

XXXX

 

As Louis drove the van back to his place, he found it hard to concentrate. Harry kept looking across at him with that heated gaze he can’t get enough of and he could barely keep his eyes on the road. When he pulled up in the drive, they both sat looking at each other for a long moment, before Harry leaned across the middle console to smash their mouths together. The kiss was desperate from the start and Harry growled in frustration at the limitations of the car.

“Inside” he breathed out.

They ran for the door, giggling like giddy teenagers and Louis struggled to unlock the door with Harry pressed up against his back, already hard. He finally managed to get the door open and dragged Harry inside, where he promptly pushed him up against the hallway wall, moaning into another hungry exchange of tongues and pressing his body along Harry’s front, pinning him to the wall.

Harry’s answering groan was filthy as his hands yanked at Louis’ clothing, desperate to get them off as quickly as possible, but not willing to break the kiss. Louis was making grabby hands at Harry’s clothing and managed to pull Harry’s shirt open and down his shoulders, Harry pulling his arms out himself. He then started on Harry’s pants. He gave up trying to get them down and stepped back, commanding Harry to “get them off!” as he stripped off his own clothes and started toward the bedroom without looking back. Harry frantically worked to remove his pants as he tripped and hopped behind Louis, leaving his clothes where they were discarded and following Louis into the bedroom.

He grabbed Louis from behind, pulling him roughly against his front and thrusting his aching hard cock against him. “Fuck Lou, need you so bad right now” he murmured, panting heavily. Louis turned around and the look on his face nearly brought Harry undone right there and then. He was wrecked. His eyes were heavy lidded and his mouth was hanging open. He was breathless already, breathing heavily and he was hard and throbbing.

Harry walked him backward, pushing him onto the bed and following him down. He hovered over him, looking down at him.

“ _Fuck_ Lou, you look so beautiful like this, all laid out for me – you’re _so_ fucking gorgeous babe.”

Louis moaned loudly, “Harry please” he begged, not really knowing what he wanted, just needing Harry to touch him.

“I’ve got you babe” Harry soothed as he kissed him, rutting against him at the same time, the friction sending a delicious shiver of sensation up Louis’ spine. They continued thrusting lazily as the heat built between them and Harry was revelling in the sounds falling from Louis’ lips at each contact.

Harry started moving down his body, laying claim to it with his mouth and working his way down to his heavy leaking cock. He lingered over it, his breath brushing along every one of Louis’ nerve endings, before taking just the head into his mouth, sucking off the pre-come with his tongue. As Louis let forth a low keening noise, he took him down, his tongue running along the underside and along the vein bulging there. As he came back up, he panted “Lou, can I ride you?”

Louis looked at him blankly for a moment, before his eyes darkened and he replied “ _please_ Harry, God, yes!” He reached to his bedside table for the lube and condom and fumbled to open the lube and coat his fingers. Harry moved up his body a little further to give him access. He sat up on his knees and Louis reached between them with coated fingers and slid the first one slowly into Harry. Harry threw back his head, mouth open wide and tendons in his neck stretched taut. Louis drank in the sight of him as he gasped at the intrusion and marvelled at how beautiful his body was. Strong lean lines and sinewy muscle, tattoos scattered upon his torso like artwork on a canvas. Louis was mesmerised by him.

As he slid a second finger into him, Harry tipped his head forward, eyes locking on Louis’ and a hum of arousal falling from his lips.

“God Lou, your fingers….aaagghhhh, fuck yes!” He was writhing now, pushing down onto Louis’ fingers as they brushed his prostate and sent a shock of sensation through his body. Louis quickly added another finger and Harry fucked himself back onto them all, stretching himself and stammering an incoherent jumble of words as he lowered himself down and back up. “Now Lou, please, need you inside me now!” he pleaded.

Louis removed his fingers and clumsily rolled the condom on. He slicked himself up and nudged the tip at Harry’s entrance. Harry then leaned back and sank down, taking him in until he was buried to the hilt and eliciting a filthy moan from his lips.

Harry stilled for a moment, gasping and looking down at his boy - his intoxicating, beautiful boy. He lifted himself up and slid down, the friction causing Louis’ face to contort in ecstasy and Harry was mesmerised. He increased his pace, never taking his eyes from Louis’.   Louis’ hands tightened on his hips and changed his angle slightly, causing his dick to slam into Harry’s prostate, making him cry out.

He bounced onto Louis faster now, hitting the same spot over and over and screaming Louis’ name. Louis was moaning and raising his hips up off the bed to meet Harry. Their pace was speeding up and their thrusts became sloppy and disjointed as they both chased their release. When Louis slammed into Harry’s prostate again, Harry felt the climax hit him, his body shuddering continuously as wave after wave of exploding sensation washed over him. Louis came a mere second after him, his body stiffening before giving way to small tremors, wracking his body with delicious aftershocks of pleasure.

Harry collapsed onto his chest, cheek pressed to his heart. They lay in silence, gasping as they came down and then Harry, lifted himself off, Louis slipping out. Harry slid off the condom, Louis hissing at the over sensitivity, and tied it up, tossing on the floor beside the bed for later. He curled up against Louis’ side, head back on his chest and lazily traced his fingers over Louis’ torso.

“Lou?” he spoke quietly.

“Mmmmm?” replied Louis lazily.

Harry shifted so he was leaning on his hands, looking down at Louis.

“I’m sorry I was rude at the café, it’s just that. Well. When I saw you there with him, I was so jealous – like crazy jealous. The thought of anyone else touching you makes me feel sick, you know?”

“Actually I do know” Louis replied quietly. He paused for a moment before he added “Harry, since we’re putting all this on the table, I have to ask, is there anything still between you and Nick Grimshaw?”

Harry stilled. “What?! I mean, well, how do you know about Nick?” he asked, frowning.

“It was all over the tabloids Harry – I saw the articles! Had a fully-fledged panic attack when I saw the first one. Couldn’t breathe – it was like getting punched in the gut.” He paused before continuing on “I guess I just want to know that whatever you had there is over now – that there’s no loose ends or unresolved feelings?”

Harry leaned down and kissed him tenderly before replying “Lou, there was never anything between Nick and me – only friendship. Yes, Nick has always indicated that he’d be open to more, but I wasn’t ready and he didn’t push. So no, there’s no loose ends there that you need to be worried about OK?”

Louis smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “OK.”

“Listen Louis” Harry added “you are going to read loads of stuff about me in the tabloids. They’re gonna say I’m sleeping with anyone I even speak to and lots of other bullshit. You have to promise me that you won’t believe any of it – that you’ll check with me and get it firsthand if you want to know something. We have to stay strong because that shit will tear us apart otherwise.”

“I know H, I get it. It’s just that I didn’t know and you looked so intimate in the photos – like you were really close.”

“Well I guess we are close – he’s a good friend and we do a lot together. He’s not as close as Zayn and Niall, but he’s still a very special friend.”

Louis decided he didn’t like Nick. Not for any reason other than pure jealousy, but hey – he was only human right?

“How about a cup of tea?” he asked Harry, wanting to change the subject.

“That’d be nice” said Harry. “ _Although_ , taking a shower together would _also_ be nice” he added mischievously. “How about it?”

“Well” chuckled Louis as he rolled on top of Harry, running his mouth along his throat “you are a dirty dirty boy Styles – you could use a shower!”

“You ain’t seen nothing yet Tomlinson” he laughed as he slid his hand behind Louis’ neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

 

XXXX

 

The shower started out innocently enough, with Louis washing Harry from head to toe and Harry returning the favour. However, when Harry slipped his soapy hand between Louis’ arse cheeks and he let out a gasp, it disintegrated into a tangle of limbs and mouth and ended with Louis on all fours, Harry parting his cheeks and sucking at his entrance, tongue writhing in and out, his soapy hand stroking him until he was coming apart.

By the time Louis had blown Harry in return, they were dangerously low on time and had to rush to get dressed to go and collect the kids from school.

Harry insisted on coming, wearing a hoodie and sunglasses and Louis was just never very good at saying no to Harry, which is how he found himself waiting outside the gate at five minutes to three, surrounded by the usual cougar single mums that still hadn’t worked out he was gay. He really should be less subtle and tell them to save everyone the trouble, but there never seems the right opportunity in the school gate chit chat to say “ _Yeah, I happen to prefer blokes actually_ ” so he just grins and bears it.

They are whispering and staring him up and down as usual, looking like they’d devour him whole if given the slightest chance. He squirmed under their scrutiny, just like always. This time, however, Harry was standing next to him and had definitely noticed them giving Louis the eye.

 _Well_ , Harry had thought, _I’m not having any of that!_

He slid behind him and placed both arms around Louis’ waist as he smiled at the group and called out “Sorry ladies! This hottie is already taken!” Louis’ eyes widened and then he couldn’t help the giggle he spat out as he turned and looked up at the grinning boy behind him. He leaned up and kissed Harry’s lips and they both laughed. When Louis looked back at the group, most were blushing or looked outraged, and a couple were smiling. He shrugged his shoulders mentally – used to the prejudice. At least they won’t look at him the same way anymore and one way or another that was a good thing.

“Daddy!” yelled Ernie as he threw himself at Louis. “It’s not your day to pick us up today! Where’s Lot…Harry!” He’d just realised who was standing behind Louis and was now diving at Harry. “This is the bestest surprise ever!” he squealed. Harry caught him, chuckling at his excitement and lifted him up.

Dot came wandering out of the gate then and spied Ernie hanging off Harry like a Koala. “Harry! Daddy!” she shrieked and ran over to kiss Louis then throw herself at Harry. Harry caught her with an “Oomph!” balancing her on his other hip.

Daisy and Phoebe walked out then and when they spied Harry, they both started grinning and ran over to say hello, trying not to draw any undue attention. Louis knew they were busting at the seams to ask Harry to say hello to their friends, but they knew by his outfit he was trying to stay incognito and so they held their tongues, content to chatter non-stop at him.

Harry started walking off toward the car with all the kids in tow and Louis collected the discarded school bags before following with a grin on his face. As he looked up, he saw a couple of the ladies frowning and shaking their heads and tried to ignore a reaction he’d been subject to more than once at the kid’s schools. It still saddened him, though, that people were so intolerant and ignorant.

He shook his head and started after Harry, smiling to himself at the way the kids reacted to Harry being there. It was obvious there was a real affection there and it warmed his heart. This moment had felt like a real family moment and it was a heady sensation to see something he’d dreamed of so often happening in real life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next post is almost ready so will update in next 24 hours or so.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OK well, it was more like 48 hours but in my defence, this chapter was hard to get right, so...it's here now. Hope you like it! 
> 
> This is pretty much the calm before the storm, and the shit will hit in a big way next chapter!
> 
> Big hugs and kisses for the kudos and comments - MWAH! It's such a thrill to get every single one :) xxx

The usual chaos of the Tomlinson household was multiplied tenfold that night. It was Harry’s first night sleeping over and he was in high demand. Everyone wanted a piece of him and he was pulled in ten different directions.

As Louis cooked dinner, he watched on as he helped Daisy and Phoebe with their homework, cracking jokes and pulling funny faces. He also bathed Ernie and Dot and got them dressed in their pyjamas and spent half an hour chatting with Fizzy and Lottie.

When dinner was over and Louis had finished the washing up, he went in search of his boy and found him curled up with Ernie and Dot in Louis’ bed, an open book in his lap and the three of them fast asleep, curled around each other. Ernie had his head on Harry’s chest and his little pudgy hand over his heart and Dot had her hand tangled in his hair, head on his other shoulder.

Louis’ breath caught and he stood in the doorway simply drinking in the sight of Harry with his kids. It was such a domestic picture and it did things to his heart, imagining what his life with Harry may have been like if things had turned out differently.

Lottie appeared at his shoulder and looked at the scene before them with a smile.

“He’s pretty wonderful, you know” she whispered, hugging her brother from behind. “I’m so happy for you Lou.”

“He sure is Lotts” he replied dreamily. “I feel so incredibly lucky to have him back in my life. It feels like a dream.”

He and Lottie each lifted one of the twins and carried them to bed, tucking them in and turning off the light.

He went downstairs and finished preparing everything for the next day, before he shooed Daisy and Phoebe off to bed and bid Lottie and Fizzy goodnight. He was tired, but buzzing with the excitement of having Harry here.

Harry had been accosted by the children from the moment they’d gotten home, but he never once gave any indication that he was annoyed by that. He’d thrown himself into the fray, and it had seemed like he genuinely enjoyed every minute – even when he’d probably rather just spend the time with Louis. The kids had well and truly claimed him and he was so wonderful with them. But while it had warmed Louis’ heart, he was more than ready to have Harry to himself. He headed back to his bedroom, smiling to himself.

He got what he wanted – in the quiet hours between eleven and dawn, Harry belonged only to him. They lay in the dark and whispered to each other, sharing the secrets of the past four years, while letting their hands wander every surface of the other, learning each other’s bodies all over again – every dip and curve. They told each other of their struggles, their joys and their hopes for the future, as well as their fears.

And when they were finished talking, they worshipped each other’s bodies with a tenderness that conveyed all the things that couldn’t be said with the inadequacy of words. When Louis finally slid into Harry’s body, he closed his eyes with the force of the emotion that hit him. Every cell in his body sang with the rightness of the moment. He was home. Harry _was_ his home, had always been and would always be. It was powerful and it was terrifying.

There had been a depth to their love making that had left both of them reeling. Something had shifted and as they lay breathless in the afterglow, there was nothing more to say.

 

XXXX

 

The following morning, there had been a knock at the bedroom door. The boys looked at each and called out “just a minute!” before scrambling to put their boxers on, snorting at the disarray of the bed and themselves.

When they finally called out that it was alright to enter, two small smiling faces poked their heads through the door.

“Good Morning!” grinned Louis and Harry beckoned them inside. They didn’t need to be asked twice, diving onto the duvet and burrowing in between the boys.

The four of them lay talking quietly, Dot twirling her fingers in Harry’s hair and Harry purring like a cat, much to Louis’ amusement. They were getting excited about their birthday, talking non-stop about the party they were having at the house and asking Harry if he’d come.

“Well, I’ll see what I can do” replied Harry, careful about not making a promise he mightn’t be able to keep. “I’d like to be there – it sounds like it’s going to be so much fun!”

“It _is_ going to be fun!” exclaimed Ernie. “There’s going to be a pin-yun-ata and everything!”

“It’s called a piñata little E” laughed Louis, ruffling his hair. “Now come on, we need to get ready for school and work, so go and get dressed and meet me in the kitchen for breakfast OK?”

The twins groaned, but did as they were told, racing up the hallway noisily. Louis rubbed his hand across his face, yawning as the night’s activities caught up with him. Harry reached out and ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back of his forehead.

“Tired?” he asked.

Louis nodded before rolling over Harry and kissing him lazily. “Somebody kept me up last night!” he scolded.

Harry chuckled. “Yeah, but it was so worth it right?”

“Absolutely” Louis answered quietly before adding “wanna join me in the shower?”

“Nope!” Harry replied, making Louis raise an eyebrow at him. “I want you to take your time, enjoy a long shower and I’ll make sure the twins are ready and make us all pancakes.”

“Pancakes on a weekday Styles? If you keep spoiling us like this, we won’t cope when you go.” He was only half joking, but Harry didn’t need to know that, thank you very much.

Harry kissed him hard and patted his bum. “Go! Or I’ll change my mind and follow you in there and we’ll all be in trouble then!”

“No chance now H – I’ve been promised pancakes, now get to work!” He giggled when Harry tried to swat him as he ran past to the bathroom.

Harry had watched him go, wanting nothing more than to have mornings like this every day.

 

XXXX

 

The promise of pancakes drew the older children out of bed more easily than normal and they all sat at the kitchen table and pigged out, not used to much more than toast and fruit for breakfast. Harry had also helped Louis make the lunches, standing at the bench and giggling as they reached over and around each other making a production line of sandwiches and fruit and yoghurt. Lottie and Fizzy looked on fondly, smiling knowingly at each other when Harry used his finger to plop a dob of yoghurt on Louis’ nose, then lick it off.

Of course, nobody had wanted to go to school and Louis could sympathise, he _really_ didn’t want to go to work. But Lottie had Uni and he couldn’t leave Liam and Sophia to handle things by themselves – it would just be too much. He left the house vowing to finally advertise for another employee and not wanting to leave Harry when their time together was so limited and precious.

Harry walked them out to the car, clad in just pyjama bottoms and hugging each of the children in turn, before taking Louis in his arms. He kissed him soundly then waved them off, before heading back inside to take a long shower and get some housework done for Louis.

He was so busy smiling to himself he didn’t see the car parked across the street, with the photographer snapping gleefully away.

 

XXXX

 

Harry stood under the running water, grinning as he thought about the morning he’d just spent with Louis and the kids. It had been loud and messy and chaotic, but it had been perfect. Waking up with Louis wrapped around him was definitely his favourite way to wake up, and the thought that he’d need to leave tomorrow weighed heavily on him. Life in the Tomlinson household was definitely something he could get used to. He knows it can’t have been easy for Louis, especially at eighteen and having newborn babies, and his heart aches for what he must have gone through. He hates the thought of Louis going through that alone.

He set about tidying the kitchen and throwing the washing on, before he went upstairs to Louis’ room to tidy up. He shook his head at the mess of tangled sheets as he made the bed and folded the clothes that didn’t need washing. As he folded a hoodie and went to put it on the top shelf of the wardrobe, a shoe box slid out and clattered to the floor, its contents spilling onto the ground.

Harry cursed and made to pick them up, a photo catching his eye. As he gathered up the items, he realised they were all photos of he and Louis, taken when they were together and he smiled as he flipped through them, laughing at young they were. They were so happy, dopey grins and starry eyes, with no concept of the heartbreak ahead of them. On the floor next to the photos was a leather bound notebook. Harry flipped it open to see Louis’ handwriting covering the pages. He started reading and quickly realised that this was a journal of sorts. He hesitated for a moment, not wanting to pry, but saw his name scrawled across the page and his curiosity got the better of him.

As he read the scribbled notes – some coherent and making sense, some more abstract and just a thought or a sentence – his eyes glistened with unshed tears. Louis had used this book to talk to Harry at a time when he’d not been there physically. He wrote as though he were speaking to Harry, called him by name, and his pain was so clear, so raw on these pages. He skimmed over some of the entries.

They started out when he was obviously so young, most pages containing tear stains and smudges, the writing disjointed and hard to understand. Random words jumped off the pages at him, slicing open his heart.

_…can’t do this Harry, I’m not strong enough…_

_…never felt so alone…_

_…feel like I’m drowning. Like water’s filling up my lungs and I can’t breathe…_

_…Please Harry, I need you, I can’t do it on my own…_

_…Why? Why did they have to die? It’s not fair Harry. It’s not fair. I can’t be a parent, I’m just a kid…_

_…I wish I was dead….._

 

The last words caused him to gasp and the tears to start falling in earnest. Louis had been in so much pain and Harry’s heart ached for the young boy of whom the world had asked too much. He cried for the time they’d lost and he cried for everything this family had endured.

As he continued to read, he was able to see the transition from a young man who couldn’t cope, to a young man who had remained standing in the face of insurmountable obstacles. A man who had grown slightly stronger. He continued to speak to Harry as though he were there and Harry realised then just how much he had meant to Louis.

He placed everything back in the box and returned it to the back of the shelf. He washed his face and finished the room, then he called his Mum, filling her in on everything that had happened. She’d been so pleased for them both, telling him she was thrilled. She had always loved Louis and was devastated to hear what had happened to him. Harry ended the call with a promise to bring the whole Tomlinson family home for a weekend very soon.

He hung up and carried on with the cleaning, wanting everything to be perfect for his boy when he came home from work.

 

XXXX

 

Louis was bouncing around the café with a grin on his face all morning. He chatted animatedly with his customers and joked around with Liam and Sophia. He was bursting at the seams with joy and it was contagious, everyone in the vicinity feeling their mood lift.

“So I take it you are enjoying having a visit from your boyfriend” chuckled Sophia.

“I’m that obvious?” grinned Louis.

Liam burst out laughing as he answered “oh mate – you are ridiculously gone for him aren’t you?”

Louis laughed as he answered “so fucking gone Li, you have no idea!” He then added “you and Soph should come over tonight and meet him properly, yeah? I know you’re gonna love him as much as I do.”

“I’d like that” smiled Liam.

“Yeah, I wanna check him over and make sure he’s good enough for you!” teased Sophia.

 

XXXX

 

Louis arrived home at three thirty with the kids, calling Harry’s name as he walked in the door. Harry came skipping down the stairs, immediately pulling him into a fierce hug. Holding him tightly before pulling back and saying “missed you.”

Louis looked at him fondly. “I missed you too H” he replied, leaning forward to plant a kiss on Harry’s lips as he was set upon by four children, eager for his attention. Harrys sent him a wink before giving his full attention to the kids, lifting Dot into the air and twirling her around as she squealed.

“So how was everyone’s day?” Harry asked loudly. “Tell me everything!” They all started speaking at once and Harry chuckled as he struggled to keep track of all the stories.

Louis gasped as he looked around at his lovely tidy house. It looked like Harry had cleaned every room and finished the ever present pile of washing that built up in the laundry. As he walked into the kitchen, he smelled something delicious.

“Did you bake?” he called out to Harry, still in the hallway with the little ones.

“Just some banana muffins” answered Harry. “They’re pretty plain, because you didn’t have many ingredients!”

The kids barged into the kitchen, descending on the home made treats with gusto and continued to tell Louis and Harry about their days. They were still all talking at once and making a mess of the kitchen counter, but Harry was listening intently, reacting animatedly when appropriate and commenting when required, and Louis thought he may have just fallen a tiny bit more in love with him at that moment, if that was even possible.

He was staring at Harry with what he was sure was the most ridiculously dreamy expression, when Harry suddenly looked over and caught him staring. He beamed back at Louis and Louis felt his pulse quicken and an answering smile bloom on his face.

The kids demanded his attention for the remainder of the afternoon, but Harry didn’t seem to mind and Louis realised he was actually happy to share.

 

Liam and Sophia arrived with Pizzas and beer at around seven o’clock, bouncing in the door and calling out their greetings.

Harry stepped into the hallway to see Ernie and Dot throw themselves at “Uncle Liam!” and watch as Liam hugged them both with obvious affection. Daisy and Phoebe were hugging Sophia and chattering away. As Liam beamed at Louis and drew him onto an affectionate embrace, Harry felt a pang of jealousy.

Louis had told him that Liam had been the person who’d been his rock over the last four years and they were demonstrably close. Harry felt irrationally envious that Liam had been able to be there for Louis, that he’d been part of his life. But he was also grateful to him for being there for Louis when Harry wasn’t, so it was a mixed jumble of feelings toward the man in front of him.

Liam embraced his friend warmly and as he pulled away, he looked up to see Harry glaring at him with an unmistakeably possessive look on his face. He bit back a grin as he put his hand out and said “you must be Harry! It’s nice to meet you – we obviously weren’t given a chance to meet properly the other day!”

Harry nodded as he took Liam’s hand and answered with a curt “Hi.”

 

XXXX

 

So Liam was wonderful. Harry realised this as they sat and chatted, getting to know each other better.

He and Sophia obviously loved Louis and Harry couldn’t help but like them both. They laughed and joked and asked questions about Harry’s career. While it was good natured and casual, there was an underlying sense that they were judging Harry’s worthiness to be the recipient of their best friend’s affection and Harry grudgingly admitted that he respected that. He was glad Louis had people like this in his life, looking out for him.

When they lay in bed later that night, Harry said as much to Louis.

“I have to admit I was jealous of Liam a little bit at first” he said to Louis. “Like, you are obviously really close and he’s been part of your life the last four years and I haven’t, you know? I’m glad he’s straight - if he was gay I’d not want him anywhere near you, ‘cos he’s actually pretty great.”

Louis chuckled. “Don’t bust yourself giving him a compliment there Harry!” he teased. He paused before he added quietly “he’s been a great friend to me H, but there’s never been anyone for me but you. You have to know that by now, right?”

“Well” Harry replied, pretending to think about it “I may need some convincing to be honest.”

Louis grinned as he rolled over onto Harry’s chest, sliding his arms around his neck. “Really?”

“Yep” answered Harry, trying not to smile. “Feeling a bit insecure right now.”

“Oh poor baby!” laughed Louis, before his voice dropped to a low sultry rasp “better see what we can do to make you feel loved.”

He leaned down and kissed Harry lazily, before taking Harry’s bottom lip between his teeth. He slid his tongue across Harry’s bottom lip and Harry opened for him immediately, welcoming him in. The kiss built in heat and intensity until both boys were simply mouthing at each other and rutting their lower bodies together.

“Lou” Harry pleaded “Lou I…..ugh…I, I need…”

“I know baby” Louis soothed breath coming fast now, “I know, me too.” He reached down between them, sliding his hand over Harry’s engorged shaft, before leaning back to strip his clothes away and proceeding to do the same to Harry, slowly, kissing each part of his body as it became exposed, laying claim to him and leaving him writhing in the sheets. He moved to run his tongue over Harry’s length, drawing a choked gasp from Harry, who arched his back and thrust forward, begging Louis to take him into his mouth. Louis teased him just a little bit longer, hovering over his cock, breath tickling as he exhaled.

“Lou please!” Harry grated out, and Louis snickered before taking him down, humming around him with pleasure, loving the salty, bitter taste and musky smell of him.

He bobbed up and down at a slow pace, hand wrapped around the base, enjoying himself as he sucked and laved at Harry’s length. He loved sucking him off, loved everything with Harry. Each and every gasp, sigh and moan coming from Harry’s mouth shot straight to his groin and he was aching and spouting pre-come. He increased his pace, using his tongue to stroke the length and work across the slit on every upward stroke. His hand worked from the base, stroking in time with his mouth and Harry was shaking with pleasure, obviously close.

Harry was rambling, his mouth spilling out of a chorus of _LouLouLouLou_ while every nerve ending in his body was pulled toward his core before releasing and exploding outward in a burst of pleasure. He cried out as his body stiffened and shuddered with his release and continued to tremble as he came down. He was having difficulty catching his breath and lay panting, head lolling to the side on the pillow.

Louis was achingly hard and pushed a hand down to his groin to relieve some of the pressure. His lips were darkened and wet and his pupils were blown. Harry looked down at him and his breath hitched at the sight. He hauled Louis up to him, smashing their mouth together and rolling them over. He worked his mouth down Louis’ neck and collarbones, leaving a trail of marks to let the world know that Louis belonged to him. He felt a sense of satisfaction knowing that after he was gone tomorrow, these marks would remain as a tangible reminder.

Louis was clutching at the sheets, revelling in Harry’s mouth on him but needing it on his cock. “Harry please, please, I can’t…”

Harry moved straight away, taking him into his mouth with no preamble. He sucked him down and wrapped his long fingers around him, stroking him. He moved his other hand to caress his balls and Louis moaned his name, rolling his hips and pushing himself further into Harry’s mouth. Harry made a low sound of appreciation, sucking hard, and slid a finger down to press at Louis’ hole.

That was all it took for Louis to come apart, trying desperately to muffle his strangled cry as he shattered apart, pleasure pouring through him and wracking his body.

They fell instantly asleep, a tangle of limbs and a tangle of hearts.

 

XXXX

 

When they woke early the next morning, Louis looked across to find Harry staring at him intently.

“H?” he croaked. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m leaving today” Harry replied quietly.

“Yeah” Louis sighed.

“Don’t want to go Lou” whispered Harry, looking miserable.

“I know Harry, I don’t want you to go either, but you and I both know you love what you do. So go do it, then come back to me OK? I’m not going anywhere.” He leaned forward and kissed Harry before adding in a whisper “and before you go, I want you to fuck me so hard I can feel it for days.”

Because Harry was an obedient boyfriend who only wanted to make Louis happy –he obliged.

 

XXXX

 

Alberto pulled the car up to the curb and Harry ran out, jumping in. He’d locked the house as he left, with the key Louis had cut for him, everyone else having left earlier. He smiled down at the pink cupcake key ring attached to the key before slipping it into his pocket.

When he jumped into the car, Alberto grinned at him. “Have fun lover boy?” he asked.

Harry laughed and replied “ _Oh_ yeah!”

Harry slept most of the trip to Sheffield and when they arrived, he went up to his room, finding the boys waiting for him.

“Here he is!” exclaimed Niall, jumping at him and embracing him. “Did you have a good time eh?” he asked, nudging him and winking. “Get a bit of action eh?”

“Oh my God Niall! Settle down will you – I for one don’t want the details” added Zayn, but he grinned and stood to hug Harry, saying “Hey mate, hope you had fun with your boy, yeah?”

Harry grinned at both of them, eyes alight and cheeks dimpling. He was glowing. “Had a great time!” he breathed. “It was so amazing guys! It wasn’t long enough but it was better than nothing right? How were things here?”

“Yeah, all good” replied Niall. “Paul told management you’d done a quick dash home and they were fine with that, so no dramas there. We’ve just been hanging around, really. Perrie arrives today, so Zayn’s been in the fucking bathroom all morning!” he teased.

“Fuck off!” answered Zayn, just as a knock at the door interrupted them.

Paul strode in, his face stormy and Harry immediately sensed that something was wrong.

“Everything alright Paul?” he asked.

“No Harry” Paul replied angrily “everything is not alright! I thought I told you to stay under the radar while you were with the boyfriend? I lied to management and now they fucking know it!” he slammed down a copy of The Sun on the table, photos plastered all over it of Harry in his pyjama bottoms, waving off Louis and the kids, as well as his passionate goodbye kiss with Louis from yesterday morning. There was no mistaking his relationship with Louis in the pictures – no way to spin it that was plausible. He looked every bit the doting house husband, seeing his man off to work.

Harry felt a wave of nausea wash over him and he sat in the chair, staring at the paper in front of him.

“But….how did they know where I was?” he asked, bewildered.

“I have no fucking idea!” Paul replied “but it’s a fucking mess Harry! Management are having a conniption and this shit has gone viral. We’re getting inundated with media requests. We can’t contain it now! They threatened to fire me Harry – for lying to them!”

The boys gasped in horror – Paul was like their family, like a father figure. They needed him.

“They wouldn’t!” cried Niall.

“Well, let’s hope not!” sighed Paul. “Look Harry, could your boy have tipped off the media? I hate to ask but…?”

“No way!” replied Harry “he made it clear that he wanted to protect the kids and keep it secret for as long as we could! He has nothing to gain and he really isn’t like that!”

Paul looked at him shrewdly before nodding. “OK, well somebody did and now we have to deal with the fallout!”

Harry stared at him. “Fuck! I’d better call him and warn him!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update in 2 days. Can you guess who tipped off the media? Some of you already called it at the end of last chapter and I think you were right!!
> 
> Our boys will be tested in the next chapter :(


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six days to update! I'm sooooo sorry but had a LOT of night time parties last week and it ate into my writing time!!
> 
> Next Chapter will be up in 24 hours to make up for that, so please forgive me :)
> 
> Please also forgive the many errors I'm sure are in here, because there was no time for proofing!
> 
> The boys are holding up well and we see some new characters introduced this chapter - also Matt is an arsehole! Not a lot of action in this chapter as it was a chapter for building the storyline. Hope u like it!
> 
> Thanks for reading and for letting me know what you think! Love the comments :)xx

Harry called Louis straight away, explaining what had happened and warning him that there may be more paps hanging around.

“I’m so sorry Lou, but it’s maybe going to get a bit full on after this article – I don’t really know. I’m not really sure how much they know about you, so I think we just need to be prepared for the worst.”

“Not your fault H” Louis replied. “We’ll just have to deal with it. I mean, we knew it was going to happen eventually right? Maybe it’s not such a bad thing if we don’t have to hide, yeah?”

“Maybe” replied Harry, sounding anything but convinced. “I still don’t understand how they found out – you don’t think Liam…?”

“Harry, don’t even finish that sentence!” Louis spat out angrily. “I won’t even dignify that with an answer! Liam is like a brother to me and I would trust him with my life – in fact he is responsible for me being here today, so just don’t go there alright?”

Harry swallowed past the lump in his throat as he remembered the anguished words written in Louis’ journal. _I want to die…._ had Louis…?

He closed his eyes, pushing away the train of thought and re-focusing. “OK, sorry, I just…..listen some people from Management are coming up to Sheffield today – they’ll be here before the show and I’m positive they’ll know better than I do what the best course of action is. I’ll call you when we have discussed things OK?”

“Yeah OK, in the meantime, if anyone asks, I’ll have no comment, right?” Louis replied.

“I think that’s best until we have a clear plan. Listen, I have to go Lou, but I’ll call you later.”

“Okay, Bye Haz.”

When he put his phone away, Louis looked up to see Liam looking at him.

“That looked like a pretty intense phone call Lou” he commented.

“It was.” Louis answered, before proceeding to fill Liam in on what had happened. “I don’t think it’ll be too bad, but Harry just worries, you know? I guess we need to be prepared for anything - time will tell what’s going to happen.”

 

XXXX

 

Harry was angry. He could feel his cheeks heating up with indignation. He, Niall and Zayn had been cooped up with management in a room for the last hour as they outlined their thoughts on the whole situation, scolding Harry like he was a naughty schoolboy for not telling them about Louis sooner.

“For the tenth time” he said through gritted teeth “I only just saw him again when we were in Manchester – it’s very new and we’re only just figuring out how it’s going to work.”

“Well I can tell you how it’s going to work, Harry” said a very businesslike woman in a suit with her red hair pulled back and sour look on her face – he thinks her name is Brenda but who the hell cares? “It’s not going to work at all – I can tell you this from years of experience! You boys have become so huge so fast that it’s unprecedented. The media and Twitter report your every move, your fans are global, not just in the UK and it’s a frenzy like we’ve never seen before. When you wanted to be open about your sexuality, we let it go. When you were seen around with Nick Grimshaw, it worked – he’s a fellow celebrity, young and popular. But this?! This is not a celebrity – this is some nobody with a shit ton of kids and a minivan for Christ’s sake! Your fans don’t want to see you playing happy fucking families! How are we supposed to sell this to them Harry? Tell me that!”

“Hey, don’t talk to him like that!” Niall objected as Harry stood up and walked slowly around the table to stand in front of the sour faced lady. He glared at her as he spoke, dangerously calm but furious on the inside.

“Listen to me” he spoke slowly and quietly “because I’m only going to say this once. Don’t ever fucking talk about the man I love like that again. He’s not a nobody to _me_ , he’s the person I’ve loved for four years and he’s more amazing than you will _ever_ know. He’s been through hell and back and that _shit ton_ of kids you’re talking about are his siblings, who he’s raising because his parents _died_. So I don’t give a fuck what you think – but you will be respectful when you speak about him, do you understand?”

Brenda swallowed and nodded, stepping back as her colleague, Richard, stepped in.

“No need for theatrics Harry” he said soothingly “we’ll sort something out, but remember, son, we’ve been at this game a long time and there are things _you_ really need to understand too. Regardless of whether or not it’s fair, your fans may not react well to this relationship. Your man may be the recipient of unpleasant media attention and hate and his family may be affected. You need to consider how that will affect him – and yourself. You need to _protect_ him and his family. You also need to consider the impact on your band. Niall and Zayn have worked hard to get where they are and they won’t appreciate a downturn in popularity because of your choice of relationship.”

“That’s bullshit!” Zayn replied angrily. “The fans don’t mind my relationship with Perrie – why should it be any different for Harry and Louis?”

“Because Zayn” Richard replied calmly “Perrie is a fellow celebrity and hasn’t got a gaggle of kids. It’s exciting and glamorous, and that shit sells. You don’t seem to the public like you’re settling down any time soon, so they see you as still accessible. This boy would mean a different lifestyle for Harry – he’ll be tied down and the fans won’t like it.”

“Well I think you’re underestimating our fans” Niall commented. “They’re pretty wonderful and I think if you gave them a try, they’d surprise you.”

“And if they don’t? That’s a big risk to take” Richard answered.

“I won’t hide him away like a secret – and I won’t give him up!” stated Harry.

“Nobody’s asking you to” Richard placed a hand on his shoulder reassuringly.   “We’re just asking you to trust that we know what’s best. Now what I would suggest is to try and avoid flaunting the relationship in public for a while - by all means spend time together and don’t hide it or deny it, but just avoid doing things like taking him to public engagements or as a plus one to events. Also, don’t acknowledge the relationship or talk about it in interviews. Just decline to comment. Play down the _seriousness_ of the relationship. This would lessen the impact to the privacy of Louis and his family. In addition, make sure you’re still seen out and about so the fans don’t think you’re wasting away in suburbia. Still hit the town with Nick Grimshaw and your other friends in London and draw attention away from your relationship - it’s called deflection and it works quite well. In the meantime, fans will be aware that you and Louis are close but they’ll have time to get used to the idea of a _committed_ relationship. Now what’s unreasonable about that? It’s a win/win for everyone!” Richard smiled.

“It doesn’t sound too bad I suppose” answered Harry thoughtfully. “I think Lou could probably use a bit of time to get used to the media attention. Can you try and do something about them going near his house?”

“Absolutely! We can limit the distance they can come to the house – it’ll be easier with kids involved. I’ll get right on that Harry. We will also need to meet with him as soon as possible regarding NDA’s and social media.”

Harry nodded. “He doesn’t have facebook or twitter or anything really – he’s never had the time. His coffee shop has a facebook page though, so…I guess I could call him and ask if we could meet up after Scotland?”

“That would be suitable – sooner rather than later OK? We need to have these things squared away for your own protection.”

“I don’t need protecting from Louis” argued Harry.

“That’s what everybody says Harry” said Richard quietly “but sometimes these things turn sour and it’s better to have a safety net in place. It’s our job to make sure you’re protected – we only have your best interests at heart. But for now, I’ll see what I can do to call off the media frenzy and we’ll go from there.”

“I understand you’re just doing your job” replied Harry “and thank you for coming up and sorting this out.”

“We’re here for you Harry – anything you need, you let me know.”

 

XXXX

 

That afternoon, Louis and Liam interviewed a couple of applicants for the new position. They didn’t really like the first two, but really liked the third – a boy named Ashton. He was taking a gap year from Australia and was really likeable with a friendly smile and a great sense of humour. Louis hired him on the spot and he was thrilled, leaving with a promise to be there bright and early the following day.

“This was a good move Lou” Liam told him as they sat and had a cuppa together. “You need to take more time off and the place is doing really well financially, so you can afford to cut yourself some slack. You won’t have to work Saturdays anymore if we put him on Tuesday to Saturday. Mondays are quiet anyway.”

“Yeah” agreed Louis “I like the idea of being able to be more flexible now that I may need to fit around Harry’s schedule. We should also put on a few casual staff so you and Soph can take some time. We’ll keep interviewing and see what we find.”

Liam smiled. “Thanks Lou. I…….I’m actually thinking of asking Soph to marry me and if she says yes, we may need time off next year for a wedding and honeymoon.”

Louis grinned at him “that’s great mate – you two are a perfect fit! I couldn’t be happier!”

Louis’ phone rang then and he told Liam “that’s Harry – I’d better take this.” He answered and immediately smiled at hearing Harry’s voice saying “Hey babe!”

“Hey Haz, how did it go with Management?”

Harry proceeded to give Louis a rundown of everything they said and Louis thought it all made sense. His primary concern were his kids and he wanted as little impact as possible on them. He felt a small amount of uneasiness with the separation of Harry’s public and private lives, but on the whole he was OK with it. They talked about how they would handle things moving forward and Harry asked him about meeting with management and signing the NDA’s. He agreed and they decided to make it straight after Scotland in two weeks’ time. Harry then had three weeks of no travel except to London for interviews and public engagements and they’d get to spend some time together then, so they were both looking forward to it. They also agreed they’d be OK with getting photographed together, but would both decline to comment on their relationship and Harry would decline to talk about it in interviews.

 

XXXX

 

Louis wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but this wasn’t it.

Three days after the Sun article, the paps showed up and were hanging around the house. They swarmed around when the car pulled into the drive and yelled questions while snapping photos and scaring the kids. Ernie and Dot were distressed and Louis was furious. He almost came to blows with a particularly aggressive pap when he scared Dot by grabbing her arm.

“Back the fuck up, prick!” he yelled “these are just little kids!”

When they’d arrived inside, his heart was hammering in his chest and it took a good hour to calm Ernie and Dot down.

Lottie and Fizzy were both approached by fans at Uni and school and had to put up with getting harassed and gossiped about. As a result, Fizzy had been even more moody than normal.

The paps also followed him in his car and came into the café. Liam and Ashton quickly removed them, but it was relentless.

In addition to that, they seemed to have gleaned information out of every person that had ever met Louis and were privy to the most intimate details of his history. He felt so violated when he read his story plastered all over the paper – its accuracy questionable at best. The most upsetting part was an insinuation that he wasn’t a fit parent due to his age and sexual orientation, as well as his casual relationship with a pop star. Due to Harry refusing to confirm their relationship and playing it down, it seemed as though it was a casual fling and this wasn’t regarded as appropriate for a parent. It made Louis see red after all the sacrifices he had made and everything he’d gone through to be a good parent.

All of a sudden, Louis started looking upon teachers, other parents and friends as potential informants and it was making him paranoid. He had the twins’ upcoming birthday party and he was loathe to let other parents into his house now, for fear of someone blabbing about every little thing.

It was awful and when Harry assured him that management were working on getting them to back off, it was little consolation. He felt like a prisoner in his own home and rarely went out, only to work. If he did go to the grocery store, he could feel eyes on him and people whispering.

He was so lucky to have Matt during that time. Harry had been so busy with shows and Matt had given Louis an ear when he needed to talk. He listened as Louis poured his heart out and sympathised with him when he told him how much the articles hurt him.

“You can’t let them get to you Louis. You’re a great parent – don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

“Thanks Matt. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you to talk to these past couple of weeks. You are such a good mate.”

“I’ll always be here for you Louis, please remember that, OK? By the way, when will Harry be back in town? I hate seeing you two apart like this.”

“Only three days now and then he’ll be here for about three weeks on and off.”

“Great news Lou! Listen I have to go, but I’ll call you tomorrow yeah?”

“Yeah OK – talk then, bye Matt!”

Matt hung up and turned to face the gentleman sitting across the table from him. “I know when he’ll be in town next – but my price just went up.”

 

XXXX

 

Louis and Liam interviewed for casual staff and were blown away by the number of applicants. It quickly became clear, however, that most of the applicants were only there to check Louis out or ask for a photo or about Harry. They were politely given their marching orders and the boys were discouraged at their wasted morning. Their last interview, however, wandered in and clearly had no idea who Louis was, which was refreshing.

His name was Stan and he was in his Second year at Uni. He hit it off well with the boys and they both liked him. Louis offered him casual hours to start and asked him to come in the following afternoon after University for a trial run. He had done his barista course, so could fill in for Liam when necessary, which was great.

Ashton had been a huge hit with the customers and proved to be a really hard worker and Louis couldn’t be happier with him. _At least the work side of things is falling into place_ , he thought.

True to their word, management had also managed to get the paps to back off the house and Louis was incredibly grateful for that. Things seemed to be calming down.

 

XXXX

 

Harry arrived late at night to try and keep his presence under the radar for the first night. Louis had been waiting up and was pacing, his excitement palpable. The last two and a half weeks had dragged by and been testing his limits and he couldn’t wait to see Harry. He was strung out and exhausted and he just needed to see him.

Harry’s chauffeured car finally pulled up outside and let hi out.  He just about bolted up the front steps, the door flying open before he could even knock and then they were in each other’s arms and everything else just ceased to matter. He stepped inside and they closed the door.

“God Lou, I’ve missed you so much!” Harry sighed as he was pulled into Louis’ embrace.

“Me too H, so good to have you home.” At Louis’ words, Harry realised at that moment that this _was_ his home. That it was more a home to him already than the sterile flat in London he currently rented from Syco – all because Louis was here.

They stood just holding each other for long moment, enjoying the feeling of just being together, before Harry pulled back and kissed him tenderly, then rested his forehead on Louis’.

“Do you want a cuppa or anything?” Louis asked, yawning.

“Nope” answered Harry, his own yawn forming. “I’m exhausted, let’s just go to bed. I haven’t slept well for weeks without you!”

Louis took his bag from his shoulder and they joined hands and went upstairs, falling asleep almost instantly, limbs entwined as usual.

 

XXXX

 

They were woken by two flying torpedos the next morning, Ernie and Dot launching themselves onto the bed.

“Harry! You’re back!” Ernie exclaimed, throwing himself at Harry. Dot quickly followed and they covered him in kisses as he giggled and tried to tickle them. They were shrieking with glee and it wasn’t long before Daisy and Phoebe were looking in to see what the ruckus was about.

They moved to sit cross legged on the bed and greeted Harry, telling him about what had been going on the past few weeks.

“The scary men were taking our photo Harry” said Dot “I didn’t like them!”

“Me either!” added Ernie. “I was going to karate chop them but Daddy said I couldn’t” he pouted at that and Harry grinned at him.

“Well Daddy was probably scared you’d hurt them, you have such big muscles!” he teased, before adding to the room at large. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that guys – it’s not very nice and I wish I could make them go away, but there’ll probably be more of them once they find out I’m here. We’ll let them take a few pictures of us this week and then maybe they’ll leave us alone for a while, yeah?”

“Ok Team Tomlinson!” Louis interrupted “time to get ready for school, so off you go and we’ll meet in the kitchen for breakfast.”

They all groaned as they filed out of the room.

“Team Tomlinson?” asked Harry.

“Yeah, it’s something we called ourselves in the early days when things were tough. It made us seem less alone – you know? Like we were all in this together and we were a team. It’s a little silly, but the kids loved it, so it stuck.”

“So, do I get to be part of Team Tomlinson?” asked Harry quietly.

“Well, it requires the approval of the entire team, so you’ve got some sucking up to do!” Louis teased.

Harry grinned. “Well maybe I’ll start by cooking dinner tonight. My cooking beats yours any day!”

“How very dare you Styles!” exclaimed Louis, swatting him on the arm.

“Only telling the truth Tomlinson!” Harry joked. “Hey” he added “aren’t you going to be late for work?” he asked.

“Have the day off actually” replied Louis with a smug smile “put on some new staff since you were here last.”

“You mean, we have the whole day to ourselves?” asked Harry.

“Yep!” replied Louis, grinning ear to ear.

Harry rolled onto Louis’ chest, kissing him softly. “Best news I’ve heard all day. Now let’s get the munchkins off to school so I can get you alone, yeah?” He rolled out of bed and headed off to help the twins get dressed and Louis went downstairs to get breakfast started.

Lottie and Fizzy joined them about twenty minutes later, both pleased to see Harry and chatting pleasantly. Fizzy seemed in a much better mood whenever Harry was around and Louis wondered for the hundredth time what was going on with her.

Lottie was doing the morning drop-off, so she bundled everyone in the car and the house felt suddenly empty as Louis and Harry were left alone.

As Louis started to clear the dishes, Harry came up behind him and crowded him into the bench, caging him with both arms on the counter on either side of him and pressing up against him from behind.

“How about we do the dishes later Lou?” he asked softly, mouthing at the nape of Louis’ neck.

Louis turned in his arms, sliding his around Harry’s neck and kissing him hungrily. As he pulled back, he grinned and said “race you to the bedroom – winner gets to top!”

Harry may have deliberately come last, but he’ll never admit to that…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update in 24 hours - more action in that one and we'll start to see the Niall/Lottie storyline. We'll also find out what's going on with Fizzy :) x


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi Guys - little warning for very minor drug use in this chapter.
> 
> I've split this in two as it got so long, which means not long to wait for me to finish the next one - update in about 48 hours YAY! 
> 
> On the down side - proofing is half hearted at best, so you'll need to ignore my mistakes and love me anyway :) 
> 
> Thanks for reading and for all the love! Hope u enjoy! :) xxx

As they lay in the rumpled sheets, completely sated and content, Harry traced the tattoos littering Louis’ body as he inspected each one. He ran a finger along the lettering on his collarbones.

“It is what it is” he murmured. “Lottie said that’s something you used to say a lot.”

“I guess so, yeah” Louis replied. “I got the tattoo to remind me that my life turned out different, yes, but I can’t change that, I can only change how I react to it. If I realise that it is what it is and accept it, then it is much easier to deal with it. I know it sounds weird, but, it’s just there to remind me that there are things I can’t change, so I need to learn to live with them. It’s a reminder that I was able to come through a really dark time in my life and survive.”

“It’s not weird at all” replied Harry. “It shows how strong you are.”

“I’d like some more” Louis commented “I’ve been toying with a couple for a while now.”

“Me too” answered Harry, the he paused before adding “maybe we could, you know, getting something matching? Only if you wanted though….”

“Harry, I’d love that!” Louis interrupted.

“Yeah?” Harry smiled.

“Yeah! We should research some! I’ve always loved nautical themes, maybe we could do something around that?”

“Yeah me too!” agreed Harry excitedly.  He looked down, taking Louis’ hand in his and toying with his finger as he continued speaking. “I’ve always like the idea of a ship and a compass, or a rope and anchor. I like the idea of the compass always guiding the ship back home, like I feel like I’m all over the place at the moment, always travelling – like a ship, and it feels like you’re kind of the compass that points to home. It’s like wherever you are is where my home is. I know it feels strange when we’ve only been back together for a few weeks, but it feels like nothing has changed since we were kids – you’re still home to me, you always were.” He looked up to see Louis’ eyes welled up and his look fond.

“I feel the same way Haz” he replied. “This doesn’t feel new – it feels like it’s always been us, you know?”

Harry smiled softly at him and leaned over to kiss him gently. “Always Lou.”

 

XXXX

 

Harry hung up his phone. “Richard’s coming up tomorrow from management. I told to come here to the house – that OK with you?”

“Yeah sure” replied Louis “I have three days off, so I’ll be home.”

Harry nodded as he checked the contents of the fridge. “You don’t have much here Lou, I think we need to do a grocery shop – and we could maybe grab some lunch, I’m starving!”

“Well we have worked up an appetite this morning” Louis grinned. “We could go by the Tesco near work and then drop into the cafe for a bite. Sophia makes a great pesto chicken wrap.”

“Sounds great!” answered Harry. He popped on a beanie and sunglasses. “I’ll probably get recognised, but we may as well bite the bullet and get it over with while the kids are at school. At least the paps shouldn’t know I’m in town yet – management put out a release saying we were all heading back to London to throw them off the scent. They’ll work it out quickly, but we have about twenty four hours.”

“Ok, well let’s get it over with then” replied Louis.

Lottie had the car so they called a cab to Tesco.

Louis could feel the eyes on them as they entered the store, but Harry seemed happily oblivious. Louis guessed he was more used to it by now. He smiled reassuringly at Louis and took his hand, making Louis feel better. They grabbed a trolley and Harry started grabbing the items he needed for dinner, while Louis grabbed the general grocery items. Louis started relaxing as Harry did his best to put him at ease, cracking jokes and just generally goofing off.

Louis noticed a few people with their phones out, either filming them or taking pictures and he hated it. He wondered how Harry dealt with this every day. A couple of fans approached them and politely asked for pictures and Louis offered to take them as Harry obliged. He was so good to everyone, so patient, thought Louis, taking the time to speak to everyone who came over. Louis was so proud of him and proud to be with him.

As they approached the checkout, Louis’ phone rang. He smiled as he answered “Hi Matt! How are you?”

Harry frowned at the mentioned of Matt’s name, still not comfortable with their friendship. There was something about Matt that just got his hackles up.

“Good Louis! You? Is your boy here yet?”

“Yeah he is – just doing some shopping.”

“Oh? Where are you?   I mean, I thought you’d be laying low is all” replied Matt.

“We are mostly – just heading to the café for lunch.”

“Oh that sounds nice – well have fun, I don’t want to keep you from lover boy!”

Louis giggled. “OK, I’ll talk to you later yeah?”

Harry was frowning as Louis hung up but cleared his expression as Louis looked over and gave him a smile. “You and Matt talk much?” he asked casually.

“Yeah, usually a couple of times a week. He’s been a great support for me. He really wants us to work out, you know? If you gave him a chance, I know you’d like him H.”

“Maybe” Harry replied, non-committal.

 

XXXX

 

As they were walking up to the café with the groceries about fifteen minutes later, Louis’ phone rang again. This time it was Liam.

“Hi Liam! We were just coming in for lunch!” Louis smiled.

“I was afraid of that” Liam replied. “Make sure you come around the back alley Lou, there are paps gathered out the front. It’s so weird – there was nobody here and then they all seemed to appear out of nowhere in a frenzy about five minutes ago. It’s like someone tipped them off that you were coming here!”

“But nobody knew we……” he stopped walking, his face going blank. “ _Fuck_! No fucking way!” he murmured and Harry looked over at him with concern. “I don’t fucking believe this!” Louis yelled. “We’ll come round the back – open the back door Liam. I think I know who tipped them off!” He hung up the phone, cursing under his breath. He looked at Harry. “The paps swarmed the café about five minutes ago - like they were tipped off” he said quietly.

Harry frowned “But, we didn’t……oh. Matt.”

Louis nodded. “I really don’t want to believe it Harry, but who else knew? _Fuck,_ I’ve told him so much personal stuff!”

“Look Lou, let’s just get inside the shop yeah, then we’ll work out what to do.”

They made their way up the back alleys to the shop, entering the back door into the kitchen. Liam pounced on him straight away.

“Are you alright mate? What’s going on? Who did this?” he fired off questions, looking distressed.

“I think it was Matt” replied Louis, sinking into chair, tears welling in his eyes. “I told him we were heading here when he called about fifteen minutes ago – the timing matches perfectly. That _prick_!”

“Are you sure Lou?” asked Liam “I mean, you guys had become such good friends – it’s so hard to believe he’d do that to you.”

Harry spoke up then. “I don’t think he was happy that day I arrived here. I think he had his sights set on you and when I met him he just gave off something that made me uncomfortable. Maybe it was payback?”

Liam’s face had turned to stone and Harry thought Liam looked a lot like he was feeling – murderous. He wanted nothing more than to find Matt and beat the living shit out of him, but they had immediate problems to be dealt with.

“Look Lou, we’ll have to deal with this. I’ll go out and chat with them, get a few pictures and ask them to back off OK? If you give them something, they’re usually pretty good. We expected this, just not this soon, but we’ll just deal with it the same as we were going to OK?”

Louis nodded and Harry made his way outside, making the jaws of the customers sitting in the café drop with surprise at the sight of a celebrity walking through the cafe.

The paps started swarming Harry immediately. He was polite and chatted with them, posing for photos, but declined to comment on their relationship, asking for a bit of space and particularly asking they not approach them when they are with the kids. The paps were actually pretty decent, but they asked for a shot of Louis and Harry together, so Harry popped back in to ask if that was OK with Louis.

“If we give it to them, it may make things better.”

Louis agreed and followed Harry outside. Harry gripped his hand as the cameras came from everywhere and were shoved in their faces. It was overwhelming, but having Harry’s large hand wrapped around his made it bearable. They posed for a few pictures before he thanked them all and asked them to leave, which they did soon enough.

When they went back inside, a couple of customers approached and Harry was gracious about taking photos with them. He chatted for a few minutes before following Louis back into the kitchen.

They went back inside and Ashton let out a long whistle. “Bloody hell Louis! What a circus mate!”

Louis chuckled at that and introduced Harry to Ashton, who greeted him cheerfully.

“Saw you on Xfactor mate – you did alright, eh?” he grinned.

Harry couldn’t help but smile at the understatement. “Yeah” he replied “we did do alright. Thanks!”

“No worries mate! Now have a seat in the kitchen and Sophia’s gonna make you nice sanga, alright?”

“Sanga?” asked Louis, confused.

“Sanga – you know, sandwich?” Ashton replied.

Liam laughed. “It’s Australian slang Lou – he’s full of it, but you soon get used to it!”

They sat at the staff table and Louis rubbed a hand over his face. “I still don’t want to believe it, Harry. Matt’s been so good to me, so supportive! It would be a horrible betrayal if it was him.”

“I know Lou, but it seems really suspicious, it really seems like it was him.”

“Only one way to find out” said Ashton, bringing their sandwiches over. “Set a trap – catch him in the act!”

“What do you mean?” asked Louis.

“Well” Ashton replied “set him up – like feed him some information, or tell you’re going to be somewhere that you haven’t told anyone else – because it’s false – and if he takes the bait, you’ll no he’s your rat! Simple!” Ashton shrugged as if the answer was the simplest thing in the world.

“That’s not a bad idea” Harry frowned in thought “we’d know for sure then. What do you say Lou?”

“Absolutely!” Louis replied “I wanna know if it’s him, because if it is, I’m gonna kick his arse!”

“You’ll have to get in line” answered Harry menacingly. “He’ll learn he can’t mess with my family and get away with it.”

Louis’ breath hitched. “Your family huh?” he asked quietly.

“Of course” Harry smiled “actually thinking about renaming it Team Tomlinson-Styles?”

Louis grinned as he answered “you haven’t been initiated yet – don’t get cocky Styles!” He was all bravado though – inside he was a puddle of emotions.

 

XXXX

 

When they arrived home, the household was a hive of activity, chaos being the order of the day. Lottie was looking frazzled as she made afternoon tea and fielded homework questions at the same time. When the boys walked in, she grinned as a chorus of “Daddy!” and “Harry!” rang out.

“Glad to see you – it’s bedlam here!” she chuckled.

Harry coaxed the twins off to play in the back yard to give Louis and Lottie a break, calling out to Phoebe and Daisy to join them once they’d finished their homework. The girls became remarkably diligent after that and were bounding out the door in no time.

“Oh my God he’s a saint!” Lottie sighed as she sat down. “What a day! Lectures were ridiculous today, then the kids all seemed so hyped up when I picked them up from school. It’s been crazy!”

“We had kind of a crazy day too” Louis replied “it appears Matt may have been selling information to the tabloids and tipping off the paps.”

“That prick!” exclaimed Lottie. “Are you going to kick his arse?”

Louis chuckled at her reaction, which was almost identical to his, then filled Lottie in on Ashton’s idea, telling her they were all having dinner tomorrow night to formulate he plan.

“Can’t wait” said Lottie “we’ll make sure he gets what he deserves Lou.”

“Sure will” he smiled before adding “Fizz home yet?”

“No” answered Lottie “she said she’s studying at Katelyn’s place, but she’ll be home for dinner. I told her six o’clock at the latest.”

“OK” Louis sighed “I just worry about her – she seems so withdrawn and angry all the time and it only started a month or two ago. I wonder what’s going on?”

“I’m sure we’ll find out soon enough Lou. She won’t talk to me – she seems angry at me too. Soph is going to take her shopping and see if she can get her to open up.”

“Let’s hope she has better luck than we did.”

 

XXXX

 

Harry cooked a lovely dinner and they all sat around the table, laughing and joking – even Fizzy joined in, although she was quieter than normal. Louis just sat and drank it all in, revelling in his little family and all of the joy Harry brought with him.

After dinner, Harry got a text from Niall, asking to skype, so he set up his laptop in the lounge room and dialled in. Niall answered immediately and laughed as two little heads popped up beside Harry.

“Hello there Harry – and who do we have there?” he grinned at them from the screen.

“I’m Ernie!”

“And I’m Doris! Who are you?”

“Well I’m Niall, it’s nice to meet you both!”

“You sing with our Harry!” Dot exclaimed.

“That’s right, I do – but I thought he was _my_ Harry.”

“Nope” answered Ernie matter-of-factly. “He’s our Harry – he belongs to my Daddy and to us! You can loan him though” he added politely.

Harry’s heart skipped beat at Ernie’s words, claiming his as their own. He grinned from ear to ear.

“Well” laughed Niall “that’s very nice of you! I’ll take you up on that OK?”

Louis called them into the kitchen then and they waved to Niall before running out of the room. Niall chuckled.

“Adorable factor is off the charts with those two – they’re so cute!” he giggled.

“Sure are” replied Harry grinning “already have me wrapped around their little fingers!” He proceeded to brag to Niall how smart they were and how funny, already sounding like a proud parent. That didn’t go unnoticed and Niall teased him about it. He then asked “so how is everything going there – many paps?”

Harry filled him in on the Matt situation and Niall was furious.

“What a bastard!” he exclaimed angrily.

“Yeah” agreed Harry “we’re gonna plan a sting operation to prove it was him for sure, then kick his arse.”

“I’m in!” Niall grinned “when’s this?”

“Tomorrow night is the planning stage.” replied Harry.

“Need a hand?” Niall grinned.

“Always mate! You heading our way are you?” he asked.

“Was thinking about it – Zayn’s holed up with Pez and things are quiet here in London, so I thought I’d come for a drive, you know – see my best mate and all.”

“Oh I see” chuckled Harry “wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain blonde living here would it?”

Just then, that blonde stuck her head around the doorway to ask Harry if he wanted a cuppa.

Harry grinned a shit eating grin at Niall, who had gone red and was running his hand through his hair to straighten it. Harry pretended to think about it and said “I think I’ll go and tell Louis how I like it - could you chat to Niall for a minute and I’ll be right back?”

Without giving her a chance to reply, he ducked out of the room, leaving her staring at the screen with wide eyes before both she and Niall started laughing.

“That was subtle!” Niall joked.

“Yeah – he’s so hopeless! So how are you Niall?”

“Well, I was actually thinking of coming for a visit – what do you think?” he answered shyly.

“I think that’d be great” she breathed, blushing.

 

XXXX

 

Harry entered the kitchen and Louis looked up and smiled. “You want tea love?”

“That’d be great” smiled Harry, kissing his forehead and making Ernie and Dot giggle.

“What?” he smiled at them “am I not allowed to kiss your Daddy now?”

They appeared to think about this seriously before Dot replied. “You can if you love Daddy – do you love him?”

“With all my heart” Harry replied shooting Louis a fond look, which he returned in equal measure.

“Well then it’s OK to kiss him” agreed Ernie. He the seemed to think some more and added “Harry?”

“Yes little man?” Harry replied, sitting down next to him and ruffling his hair.

“Do you love us too?” he asked softly, unsure of the answer, but radiating hope. Dot sat next to him, eyes wide and looking just as hopeful. Louis held his breath – Harry had well and truly been put on the spot and he didn’t want him to feel pressured, but he knew what Ernie and Dot wanted to hear.

Harry didn’t even hesitate, just smiled and answered “Absolutely! You two are adorable – I’d have to be mad not to love you! As you told Niall already – I’m your Harry, and that’s true – I really am. You, your Daddy, Daisy, Phoebe, Fizzy and Lotts – you’re all my family. I love all of you!”

“We are?” asked Dot, grinning from ear to ear.

“Yeah” Harry smiled fondly at her. “You really are.”

Ernie reached up and placed his hand on Harry’s chest, right above is heart and whispered quietly “I love you too Harry.”

“Me too!” added Dot and they both climbed onto his lap and hugged him.

Harry was so overwhelmed, he felt the lump in his throat form and his eyes watered up with happy tears. He hugged them back fiercely and then looked up at Louis, who looked back with tears tumbling down his cheeks and a huge smile on his face.

Daisy and Phoebe walked into the kitchen and looked from Harry, with his lap full of their siblings and tears in his eyes, to Louis and back again.

“What did we miss?” asked Phoebe.

“Harry said he loves us and that we’re his family – all of us and Daddy” answered Ernie.

“Cool” answered Phoebe, unfazed.

“We love you too Harry!” Daisy added, like it was no big deal. “Now, is there any ice cream?”

If Harry cried a little over the events of the evening when they were alone later, well nobody needed to know.

He and Louis lay in bed and he’d just relived the moments in the kitchen, as well as telling Louis about their conversation with Niall, calling him _their_ Harry. He felt like he was floating.

Louis also brought up Lottie’s skype call with Niall, which had gone on to last two hours.

“I’m not sure how to feel about it, to be honest! I know you love him and all, but I’ve never met him and I’m not sure if I want Lottie involved in all the media attention, you know?”

“Trust me Louis – he has a heart of gold. Just wait till tomorrow when he gets here, you’re gonna love him!”

“As much as I love you?” Louis asked quietly, sliding his arms around Harry’s neck.

“Well I don’t know” Harry answered softly “maybe you should show me how much you love me and I’ll tell you?”

“Gladly” smiled Louis, pulling him down into a heated kiss.

 

XXXX

 

It was in the wee small hours that Harry woke to a small foot pressed against his nose and a pudgy little hand woven into his curls.

It seemed that Ernie and Dot had both crawled into bed with them at some point. Harry cringed as Ernie’s foot twitched and one of his toes went up his nostril. He was infinitely grateful that Louis made him slip his boxers back on before they went to sleep.

He slid out from the bed, leaving Ernie lying sideways and Dot sprawled across Louis’ torso. He took a moment to appreciate the picture before him. He had fallen head over heels for these two little munchkins and even more in love with Louis than he thought possible. He grinned down at the three entwined bodies before padding downstairs to make a cup of tea.

As he came quietly down the stairs, he heard the front door creak open and he froze on the stairs in the dark, watching as Fizzy let herself into the house, dressed in a dark hoodie and jeans. As she headed for the stairs, she realised Harry was standing there and put a hand over her mouth to stifle her gasp.

“Harry! You scared me!” she exclaimed breathlessly.

“I bet you’re not as shocked to see me as I am to see you!” Harry whispered sternly. “What the hell are you doing Flick? Louis would have a fit if he knew you weren’t in bed!”

“Please don’t tell him Harry!” she pleaded. “I only just went outside – I was still here, I promise. I just needed some fresh air! Please Harry!” She stepped closer and Harry’s eyes widened.

“Is that….? Were you smoking pot?!! What the hell Flick?!”

“Shhh Harry please! You can’t tell him – it was just this once! I’ve been so stressed and a friend told me it would help. Please Harry – I won’t do it again, I promise! Just don’t tell Louis!”

“I don’t know what kind of friends you’re hanging around with Flick, but they don’t sound like good ones – you’re only sixteen, where did you even get it?”

“Oh please” she rolled her eyes “anyone can get pot – you can buy it school, everybody has it.”

“I can’t keep this from Louis, Flick – it wouldn’t be right!”

“Please Harry no! I promise it will never happen again, just don’t tell him. I will never do this again I swear!”

Harry hated the thought of lying to Louis, but he knew Louis would hit the roof and things between he and Fizzy were already strained.

“I don’t like it Flick – I won’t tell him, but I’m not happy about it! I’ll be watching you and if I even get the feeling this has happened again, I’ll tell him immediately. Do you understand?”

“Yes” she nodded and hugged him “and thank you Harry. I won’t let you down, I swear.”

“You’d better not” he replied menacingly, hoping it would scare her enough that she stopped.

When he Slid back under the covers, he found it hard to go back to sleep, worry over Fizzy keeping him awake.

 

XXXX

 

When Harry woke the next morning, it was to silence. Louis had obviously already left to take the kids on the school run and to drop Lottie at Uni and hadn’t yet returned. Harry looked at his phone. It was already nine thirty! He hadn’t even stirred, he’d been so tired from last night. It had been an evening and a half and he was an emotional wreck! He’d gone from the high he’d felt earlier to the low of worrying about Fizzy. He guessed that this was parenting – blissfully wonderful one moment and difficult and stressful the next. He doesn’t know how Louis has managed to do this for four years when he was already wrung out!

His phone buzzed with a text from Richard saying he’d be there at eleven, so Harry got up and jumped in the shower.

He put his head under the stream of water and closed his eyes, letting the water soothe him. A few minutes later, the door to the shower opened and a naked Louis slid in beside him, sliding his arms around his waist.

“Good morning sleepy head!” he murmured “thought you might sleep all day, you were so exhausted this morning. Did the kids keep you awake? They’re a bit restless aren’t they?”

“They were fine” Harry replied “just couldn’t sleep, so I got up and made a tea in the early hours and couldn’t get back to sleep.” He felt awful for not telling Louis about Fizzy. The guilt sat in his chest like lead.

“Oh poor baby!” pouted Louis. “Well why don’t we see if we can make you feel better, eh?” He slid down onto his knees and as he licked a stripe up the underside of Harry’s length, Harry forgot everything else, his head falling back against the tiles and his eyes rolling back in his head.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So absolutely NO proofing has gone into this chapter - my apologies, but I finished this while at work, so no time! (Won't be up for employee of the month after my disgraceful dereliction of duty in favour of this story! FML )
> 
> Thanks for reading and for all the lovely comments - I know you are hating Matt so much right now, but there has to be a villain doesn't there? He'll get his, don't worry!
> 
> See you in two days with another update! Big Love xxxx

Louis looked over the Non-Disclosure Agreement and it all seemed fine, so he signed it and passed it back to Richard whats-his-face with a tight smile. He understood the need for these things, but still resented the implication that he’d do anything to hurt Harry.

He’d got the distinct impression he was not well thought of by management and while he couldn’t fault Richard’s, albeit fake, politeness, he had felt a passive hostility emanating from the guy since he walked into Louis’ house, looking down his nose at the interior. His smile was less than genuine and Louis was sure they’d rather not have a complication like him in the picture.

 _Well too bad_ , thought Louis, _I’m not going anywhere._

Richard passed him the other ones that needed signing by Lottie and Fizzy and also his staff at the café.

“If you could have those signed by the appropriate people and returned to our office, I’d appreciate that Louis” he stated, before turning to Harry. “Now, Harry, we’ve arranged for an outing in London on Monday night with Nick Grimshaw and a few of that crowd. You will need to make the necessary arrangements to meet Nick – it’d be better if you met him at his house, alright?”

Harry looked disappointed, but other than that, he simply nodded, putting the details into his phone. Louis had to swallow the bitter jealousy that surfaced at the mention of Nick’s name. He knew very well that management were trying to make it seem like there was still something between Nick and Harry, but at the moment, it took the pressure of him and the kids, so he bit his tongue.

The meeting finished quickly after that and Louis for one was very glad to see the back of Richard.

They sat and made sandwiches after he left and when they’d finished eating, Harry broached the subject of Nick.

“I’m sorry about next Monday Lou” he said softly “I know you’re not happy about it, but we agreed it was the best way to handle things.”

“It’s fine Haz, I’m not upset with you – I just wish we didn’t have to play these games, you know?” he hesitated before adding “and I guess I’m a little jealous if I’m honest. I mean, he’s a good looking celebrity and I’m just me and it feels…”

“Stop right there!” Harry interrupted him, face stormy as he slid across out of his chair and into Louis’ lap, folding his long limbs to fit. He cupped Louis’ face in his hands and said “listen to me Lou – you are everything to me! You are more precious than a thousand Nick Grimshaws. I love you so much and I never want you to feel second best to anyone. You’re first in my life – always.”

Without waiting for an answer, he took Louis’ mouth in a tender kiss, Louis immediately returning it. In the blink of an eye the exchange turned hungry and Louis rolled his hips up, desperate for friction and moaning into Harry’s mouth. He pushed Harry up off his lap, telling him to get naked and he’d be right back, before bolting upstairs.

Harry stripped off and stood next to the table, waiting for Louis to come back down, which he did in record time, panting and out of breath, lube in his hand. Harry giggled as he watched him madly strip his clothes, taking him back into his arms as soon as he was naked. Louis slid his arms around Harry’s neck and Harry lifted him up onto the table, pushing him backwards till he lay across it, naked and gorgeous.

“You’re so beautiful Lou” he breathed as he reverently ran a hand from the middle of his chest down to his hard length, taking it in his hand. Louis trembled under his touch, exhaling sharply and pushing the lube into Harry’s hand.

“Harry please” he pleaded, whimpering softly and throwing his arms back over his head and Harry was powerless against the sight of Louis laid out and begging for him, he stared down at him with pupils blown, his need thrumming through his veins.

He put the lube to the side for the moment and lifted Louis’ thighs, pushing them back and exposing his pink puckered hole. He lowered his mouth, licking across the entrance, drawing a low filthy groan from Louis. He sucked at the spot now, sliding his tongue just inside and pulling out, Louis gasping and lifting his hips slightly. Harry kept a steady rhythm, thrusting and withdrawing his tongue, working Louis into an incoherent mess, his mouth wide open and head thrown back. He was a truly beautiful sight murmuring Harry’s name over and over. Then it became too much and not enough all at once and he couldn’t take the teasing anymore.

“Harry, need you in me – need it now, please!” he begged, gasping out the words with each thrust of Harry’s tongue.

Harry pulled back and reached for the lube, hesitating. “Lou, you didn’t bring any condoms down - do you want me to…?”

“It’s OK, want to feel you H” he moaned out and Harry’s eyes darkened as he reached shakily for the lube. He coated himself without another word and wasted no time opening Louis up, before sliding him down the table a bit and lining himself up. With one hand he guided himself into the tight heat, overwhelmed by the feeling of Louis encasing his throbbing length. He remained still for a moment, trying to catch his breath before slowly pulling back and pushing in again, moaning at the sensation of being inside this boy he loved so very much.

Although he tried to hold back and take it slow, his need was just too intense and the reins snapped on his control. He started thrusting into Louis faster, hitting his prostate with precision and Louis cried out, breath itching even as he urged him on, his hands gripping the edges of the table for stability.

“Argh…..yes Haz, harder! Christ Yes, oh fuck!” The table was banging into the wall now, but neither one cared, lost in the moment.

“God Lou! I can’t hold on! Shit you feel so good!” His pace started to become erratic as they reached fever pitch and his technique was all but gone - replaced by pure primal instinct as he chased his release. He reached down to wrap a hand around Louis’ leaking cock and the contact was all it took to send Louis over the edge with a strangled cry. A few thrusts later and Harry followed him into sweet oblivion, almost blacking out as his orgasm hit him.

He pulled out and his knees gave way, his body sinking to the kitchen floor as he tried to regain his breathing. His body was trembling with the aftershock and he looked up to find Louis still sprawled across the table, also breathing heavily. After a moment Louis rolled onto his side and looked down at Harry, smiling as he panted “holy shit Styles! You’re gonna be the death of me! How did I go without this for so long?”

Harry chuckled and stood up, holding out his hand to help Louis up. “We’d better get upstairs to shower before we have to pick up the kids – and I guess we should clean this table?”

Louis laughed. “I can’t believe you defiled my kitchen table curly! We’re gonna need some disinfectant for this – my kids eat off this table you know! I also think one of the legs has worked loose, it feels a bit unstable.”

Harry shrugged “collateral damage – totally worth it! I’ll buy you a new one.”

 

XXXX

 

That afternoon, Harry came on the school pick up run like he had the first time, only this time, they were not incognito. They hopped out of the car and were immediately the focus of all attention outside the school.

Louis found it completely ironic that mothers who had shunned him or shown their disapproval a few weeks before were suddenly falling all over themselves to wander up and say hello, just because he happened to be dating a celebrity. It was so difficult to keep his bitchy sassy side from emerging and telling them all what they could do with their insipid smiles and shallow conversations, but he managed – just.

Of course Harry was as gracious as always and posed for photos with the surrounding parents, however, as soon as the bell rang he was completely focused on the kids.

Ernie and Dot were out the gate first as always, as Kindergarten were let out a little before the others. They raced out, throwing themselves at Harry and Louis. Harry caught Ernie, immediately throwing him over his shoulder, causing him to shriek and then laugh loudly. Louis picked up Dot, twirling her around and kissing her cheek as he asked about her day.

From there things descended into anarchy as kids started filing out of the gate and recognising Harry, crowding him and asking for photos. Harry quickly took charge, asking the kids to form a line and he’d take a photo with them. He also asked the parents to keep their kids calm, as he didn’t want Ernie or Dot to get frightened. The parents were obliging and they managed between them to assist in getting a line formed. Harry patiently took photos and chatted with loads of kids, charming both them and the parents with his kind nature. Daisy and Phoebe ran up and Harry made sure to hug them both and make a special fuss of meeting their friends. Louis was so grateful. He just stood there grinning like an idiot, wearing what he was sure was a ridiculously besotted look on his face, but not caring in the least.

An hour passed before they were able to make their way home, but nobody seemed to mind, including Harry, so Louis didn’t much care.

When they arrived home, Fizzy was already in her room with the door shut and a sign on it saying “Keep out!!” Louis sighed and started preparing for their guests that evening, hoping she’d come down for dinner.

When he went back into the kitchen, Ernie had dragged his school bag out and was showing Harry his pictures he’d drawn that day. Dot also pulling hers out, not wanting to be outdone by her brother.

Ernie held up a colourful painting. “This is my family portrait” he said, passing it over.

Louis and Harry made the appropriate cooing noises as they looked down at the two larger stick figures standing on either end of a long string of six smaller figures, all holding hands. _Wait, six?_ Thought Louis.

“Who’s who here mate?” he asked slowly, brain whirring at a hundred miles an hour.

Ernie pointed to the two larger figures. “That’s you and our Harry on the ends” he said, before happily moving on to point out his siblings. Louis’ throat tightened and he looked over at an obviously shocked Harry, who was just staring at the painting.

Harry’s heart had stopped beating altogether as Ernie had casually referred to his presence in the family painting. It then stuttered to life, hammering away at top speed as a grin formed and took over his whole face. He was so touched at the ready acceptance of him as family and beyond ecstatic.

Dot climbed into his lap, timidly holding her picture up for inspection. It was a picture of just Harry and Louis. “I wanted to do a mum and dad picture” she said quietly “but I don’t have a mum, but I told the teacher I had a Harry and she said I could draw you with Daddy instead.” She looked up at Harry with a very solemn but hopeful look on her face and asked “do you like it?”

Harry could barely contain the tears that welled up in his eyes. His voice was reduced to a ragged whisper as he hugged her tightly.

“I love it baby” he rasped out before turning to Ernie “and I love your portrait mate – they’re both so beautiful.”

Louis looked away and wiped a stray tear as he stood up, saying brightly “yeah, definitely going on the fridge guys – give them here!”

They handed them over and then ran outside to play hide and seek.

If Harry and Louis stood staring at the fridge for a few extra minutes with fond smiles and joined hands, well nobody needed to know.

 

XXXX

 

When the knock came at the door in the early evening, a breathless Lottie came bounding down the stairs saying “I’ll get it!” before Louis or Harry could even think about leaving the kitchen. They looked at each other and snorted at her eagerness and Louis made a note to tease her mercilessly later, when he was done freaking out about this budding friendship with Niall.

They heard Niall’s voice at the door and went to greet him, surprised to see he wasn’t alone. Zayn and Perrie were with him and Harry smiled widely as he asked “what are you guys doing here?” and moved forward to hug them both.

Zayn laughed as they embraced. “Well Niall filled us in on what was happening up here and we decided you weren’t gonna have a sting operation without us!”

“Sorry we didn’t call first” Perrie apologised. “I hope we’re not intruding too badly?”

“No it’s fine” answered Harry, then he turned to where Louis was standing. “It gives you a chance to finally meet Louis properly. He slid an arm around Louis’ waist and said proudly “Guys, this is Louis. Lou, this is Niall, Zayn and Perrie.”

“It’s lovely to meet you all” Louis smiled “welcome to our little home! Can I get you a drink?”

When they all had a beer, and Perrie and Lottie had a glass of wine, they sat around chatting idly as they waited for the rest of the party to arrive. Fizzy wandered down and Louis was relieved to see she was being sociable, especially with Perrie, as she was a huge fan. Perrie was so lovely to her and they chatted about makeup and hairstyles as well as Little Mix.

The twins came downstairs with Phoebe and Daisy then, dressed in their matching pink and blue onesies and poked their heads into the lounge room, eyes going wide as they saw Niall.

“Niall!” cried Ernie excitedly “what are you doing in my house?” He ran over to stand right in front of Niall, hands on his knees and eyes wide.

“Hello again Ernie!” grinned Niall. “I thought I’d come for a visit – is that alright with you?”

“Yes please!” exclaimed Ernie “you can visit anytime! We love visitors!”

Niall laughed and ruffled Ernie’s hair and Ernie giggled, sitting himself up next to Niall on the arm of the lounge chair.

Meanwhile, Dot had climbed straight onto Harry’s lap, slinging an arm around his neck and nuzzling into the space between his collarbone and shoulder. He cuddled her in and kissed her hair.

Zayn and Perrie stared at the exchange then shared a look, eyebrows raised, surprised to see how natural Harry was with her and how comfortable she was with him.

Phoebe and Daisy practically fell all over themselves talking at Perrie after that, infatuated with her and still shocked to find her in their lounge room. Perrie took it in her stride.

It was only twenty minutes later that Liam and Sophia arrived, followed closely by Ashton and Stan. Louis ordered a ton of pizzas, which Harry insisted on paying for and they all settled into the lounge room. Introductions were made all round and the chatter became louder and more jovial as the night progressed. Ashton, Niall and Stan hit it off immediately, with Liam and Zayn finding plenty in common and quickly getting into a serious discussion about comics, making both Perrie and Sophia roll their eyes.

The kids were excited about staying up later as it was Friday night, so they were bouncing around all hyped up. Louis surveyed the chaos and smiled – it felt good to be surrounded by friends and laughter. Harry had brought so much joy into his life.

The pizza arrived shortly after and they sat around to eat and formulate a plan to expose Matt.

“I’m still in favour of just ringing his doorbell and sucker punching him when he opens it” said Liam menacingly.

“I’ll second that!” Stan put a hand up. “It’s direct and to the point – I like it!”

“While the bastard deserves it, no doubt” replied Niall “I’d love to catch him in the act and then confront him. I love a good sting operation!” They all laughed.

“I’m with Niall” agreed Ashton gleefully “it’s more fun this way!”

“OK – as long as I still get to punch him afterward!” Liam argued, face still scowling.

“Me too” added Harry with a matching scowl.

“So what does everyone think we should do?” asked Louis.

They tossed around a few ideas and finally decided on a course of action. Niall rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

The rest of the night was then spent enjoying each other’s company, laughing a joking and listening to the boys tell embarrassing stories about Harry. Louis matched them with a few from their teenage years, making Harry giggle and put his hand over Louis’ mouth and hiding his face in his neck.

The younger kids were all put to bed at around ten o’clock, Dot insisting that Harry carry her up the stairs and Harry unable to say no to her.

“She’s got you so whipped!” chuckled Louis as he and Ernie preceded Harry up the stairs. Harry just grinned back at him.

“Yep!” he replied. “She’s my little princess, aren’t you Dot?”

Dot nodded tiredly and patted Harry’s chest with her little hand. “Love you Harry” she murmured softly, yawning as she did.

“Love you too baby girl” he whispered back, beaming like he’d won the lottery – and it sort of felt like he had really.

When Liam, Sophia, Stan and Ashton finally left, Louis and Harry dragged mattresses out to the lounge room for Zayn, Niall and Perrie, before heading up to bed. As they headed upstairs, Louis noticed that Lottie and Niall had made tea and were sitting in the kitchen talking quietly. Lottie was smiling softly at Niall and Louis felt a mild panic at the look of adoration on her face. Harry stood behind him and slid his arms around his waist.

“He’s a good guy Louis” he whispered “he won’t hurt her.”

“I hope you’re right H” he replied before sighing and turning and pulling Harry upstairs to bed.

 

XXXX

 

Being Saturday the next day usually meant the household slept in. Not today, apparently. The only person not up by eight o’clock was Fizzy.

Lottie was up and dressed, hair done and makeup on bright and early.

 _No need to wonder what that’s about_ , thought Louis, internally rolling his eyes.

Daisy and Phoebe were already downstairs, talking to Perrie and making cups of tea for she, Zayn and Niall. Lottie joined them, overseeing the tea making and already joking around with Niall.

The twins had crept into Louis’ room earlier in the morning and slid under the covers, climbing between the boys and snuggling in, falling back asleep almost immediately. Louis and Harry lay wrapped around them and smiling softly at each other, contentment settling over them like a blanket.

 

After breakfast Perrie offered to take Lottie, Fizzy and the older twins shopping and Zayn decided to go with them in case they got harassed by fans or paps. Niall quickly volunteered to go too, but everyone suspected that was more to do with spending the day with Lottie than with helping with the protection detail.

They were meeting back at the house with Liam, Sophia, Ashton and Stan at about six o’clock, when the café closed, to put phase one of their plan into action and have a BBQ dinner.

Louis and Harry took the twins to the supermarket with them to grab the supplies for the BBQ. There were a few fans around and some asked for pictures, but all were really respectful and most indicated they thought Louis and Harry were a cute couple. Ernie and Dot charmed Harry’s fans with their cute smiles and lovely manners and the fans also seemed to love the fact that he was close to Louis’ kids. It was such a positive response that Harry was pleasantly surprised, thinking perhaps management had got it wrong this time.

They made their way home, spending the afternoon playing games with the twins in the backyard, tiring them out – or at least trying to!

 

XXXX

 

When everybody had arrived back from shopping it became clear that both Niall and Perrie had lavished a multitude of gifts on the girls, all of them carrying multiple shopping bags.

They showed Louis the clothes they’d bought and some makeup that Perrie had bought them. Lottie blushed as she showed Louis the bracelet Niall had bought her as well. Niall just grinned at her proudly, obviously smitten. Louis noted they had now progressed to holding hands, which was terrifying, but he knew she was her own woman now and she deserved to be happy, so he just raised an eyebrow and said nothing. Harry had been watching his reaction and smiled at him reassuringly, giving him a wink and making him chuckle.

After Liam, Sophia, Ashton and Stan arrived, they gathered around the kitchen as Liam called Matt to put in place the trap.

“Hello, mate, it’s Liam. How are you?”

“Good Liam – you?” he replied happily.

“Yeah good, listen I’m calling because there’s something huge in the pipeline with Louis and Harry and Harry's asked me to contact Louis' friends.”

“Oh?” replied Matt, and Liam could practically hear him salivating on the end of the line. “What’s going on?”

“Obviously you need to keep it a secret, but Harry’s going to propose to Lou and he wants all of us there – all Louis’ friends and family.”

Matt was silent on the other end of the phone for several log seconds before he answered slowly “Gee. I mean, isn’t it a bit fast for that? I mean they haven’t been together long.”

“I know” Liam agreed “but they’ve known each other for years and when you know, you know, right?”

“I guess” replied Matt vaguely.

“Anyway” Liam continued “he’s making a big proposal at Manchester Stadium, because Lou is such a Man United fan – isn’t that cool? It’ll be like Kanye and Kim all over again! He’s got them to open it after hours and all! Harry wants us all there when he and Lou get there as a surprise, you know? What do think – are you down?”

“Yeah mate, of course – anything for Louis” Matt answered, clearly preoccupied. “When is this happening?”

“It’ll be tomorrow night at about six o’clock” Liam told him happily. “I’m so excited! It’s going to be so romantic Matt!”

“Yeah, yeah I bet” replied Matt “now what are the details?”

After Liam had told him the details they’d agreed upon, he hung up and looked back at everyone watching him, giving them a thumbs up.

“He bought it” Liam confirmed.

They all cheered, Niall picking Lottie up and spinning her around.

“Phase one complete!” declared Ashton, clinking his beer bottle against Stan’s and grinning.

“Phase one!” cheered Ernie, having no idea what phase one actually was, but loving the excitement in the air. Everyone chuckled and Louis ruffled his hair fondly.

 

XXXX

 

Matt threw his phone down onto the bed in anger.

“What the fuck – he’s proposing!” he whined to himself.

He quickly picked up his phone dialling his contact and saying “I’ve got something huge for you – be ready for instructions tomorrow and be prepared to pay up big.”

He hung up with a smile on his face. He couldn’t wait to see Harry’s precious proposal go horribly wrong.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally see what is going on with Fizzy next chapter!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So it's finally here - I know you've been waiting for the showdown with Matt, so I hope I did it justice!
> 
> As usual - very little proofing has gone into this work LOL!
> 
> Big love to everyone who's left kudos and comments, you're keeping a smile on my face every day, so thanks a lot :):):)
> 
> Next chapter in 48 hours or so. Big Love xxx

They were all set. Everything was in place.

The director of the stadium had been star struck when the boys of One Direction had approached him, requesting his assistance, and had quickly agreed. His only condition was the presence of five of his own security staff, which the boys readily agreed to, glad of the back-up in case things didn’t go according to plan. All those involved happily signed the NDA’s Harry had emailed though and were glad to be of assistance.

The girls were all staying home, minding the younger ones so the boys had headed over to the stadium to wait for Matt to arrive.

Liam had told Matt that a side door would be unlocked for him to enter quietly and then make his way up to the stand to meet the others. All they had to do was wait now.

They’d turned the lights down low in the hallway adjacent to the unlocked door and Ashton and Stan waited just inside the door but behind a large vending machine. Three huge security staff were waiting in a room off the hallway, listening for their cue.

Liam, Niall, Zayn and Harry all waited up in the stands where Liam had told Matt to come.

They were pretty sure Matt would come in the side door on his own, but tell the pap to follow as soon as the coast was clear. At least, that’s what they were hoping.

At about five to six, the door squeaked open and Matt sauntered in, checking the corridor before slipping back outside for a moment, obviously to signal someone. He came back in and made his way to the set of stairs Liam had told him and proceeded up into the stands.

As he emerged into the seating area, he spied Liam and the boys and waved at Liam, smiling and heading over toward them. They greeted him, not letting on that anything was wrong and Harry introduced him to Niall and Zayn. He shook hands with both boys, looking around him.

“So where is everybody?” he asked.

“Oh, we’re expecting them any minute” replied Liam, smiling.

 

Ashton squeezed Stan’s arm as they heard the door slowly squeaking open again. They waited, holding their breath until the scruffy looking guy holding the camera had passed the machine, before Ashton jumped out and grabbed his arm and Stan moved to lock the door behind him.

The guy squealed like a girl before exclaiming “What the fuck?! Get your hands off me!” struggling in Ashton’s strong grip.

As the security staff filed out of the adjacent room, Ashton grinned at him and replied “not bloody likely mate. Seems you’ve been a bit of naughty boy!”

“Yeah!” joined Stan “you’re going down motherfucker!”

Ashton raised his eyebrows at that. “What are you – Samuel L Jackson? What was that?”

“I don’t know” Stan shrugged “just felt it and went with it – I was in the moment!”

Ashton snorted, easily keeping hold of the struggling journo and shaking his head at Stan, who was grinning back at him now.

The guy took one look at the security staff and stopped struggling, mouth dropping open. The largest of the three stepped forward, towering over the now very subdued photographer.

“Sir, you are trespassing on private property and as such we are at liberty to call the police and have you charged.”

“Now, now” the guy stammered “let’s not be hasty boys! My apologies for wandering onto the grounds – I was just having a look around and saw this door open. It was just a bit of curiosity, you know, no harm done right?”

“You’ll need to accompany us to the holding room, sir, until we check with the owners to see if they want charges laid.”

They carted him off to the holding room to wait it out, leaving Ashton and Stan to run upstairs and give a nod to Liam that they’d been right as they approached the group.

Liam’s face turned stormy and Harry was positively turned to stone as they all surrounded Matt in a circle. Matt seemed to sense that something was amiss. He started looking from one scowling face to another and asked “what’s going on? Liam?”

“What’s going on” replied Harry “is that you’ve been passing information to paps.”

“What?” cried Matt “no! no! That’s not true!”

“Give it up Matt!” Liam bit out “this whole evening was just a set up to see if our hunch was right!”

“What do you mean – a set up?” Matt asked.

“What he means” drawled Stan, stepping closer and crowding Matt menacingly “is that this whole evening was set up to test our theory that you were a stinking bloody rat! We fed you the story, knowing that you’d sell it to a pap or two and then we’d have our proof.”

“And surprise, surprise, we were right on the money! So your stinking pap is downstairs in the holding room, about to be charged with trespassing!” Ashton grinned, fist bumping Stan.

Matt’s eyes widened and he looked like a deer caught in the headlights, looking for a way to escape as he glanced around. He saw a gap between Liam and Harry and lunged forward, trying to climb over the chairs and bolt. Liam grabbed him and easily brought his hands behind his back, holding him firmly as Harry approached him.

Matt was looking back at Harry defiantly and with eyes full of hate, no remorse whatsoever.

“You were supposed to be his friend” said Harry quietly “why would you betray him like that?”

Matt huffed out a humourless laugh and replied loudly “I _am_ his friend! It’s _you_ that’s no good for him! He deserves better than you! I would’ve been there for him all the time, not just breezing through town when I felt like it! How can you give him what he needs?” He spat the words out, full of venom and hate.

There was a shuffling noise above them and Louis stood, walking from the shadows where he’d been hiding. His face was a mask of both anger and hurt and he walked over to Matt, sadly looking him in the eye, before slapping him hard across the face.

“I trusted you” he said softly “and you betrayed me.”

“No Louis!” cried Matt, eyes welling up “I was trying to protect you – show you how hard it will be with him. Why can’t you see that you deserve so much more! I love you Louis – I can give you what he won’t!”

Louis shook his head. “If you truly loved me Matt, you wouldn’t have hurt me like this. I never want to hear from you again, do you understand me? Never set foot in the shop and never contact me. If I ever find out that you are speaking to the media, you’ll hear from me and it will be through my lawyers. Now sod off! I can’t even stand to look at you!”

Liam gave him a shove then, releasing him from his grip and Matt stumbled forward. He looked tearfully at Louis, then at Harry as he came to stand beside Louis, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. As Louis turned into Harry’s embrace, Matt growled and launched himself at them, catching Harry off guard with a blow to the face, splitting his lip. “You fucker!” he howled “you ruined everything!”

Before he could blink, Liam was on him, laying into him and holding nothing back. Niall and Zayn stepped in and pulled Liam back, fearing he’d cause him serious injury. Matt lay on the ground moaning and holding his nose, which was bleeding and Niall stood over him, foot on his chest to keep him down.

“I’d stay down if I were you” he advised threateningly, putting a touch of extra pressure on Matt’s chest.

The two additional security staff came running down then, lifting Matt up and marching him down to the holding room, arms held behind his back.

The boys all breathed a sigh of relief that it was over and Louis turned to take Harry’s face in his hands, surveying the swollen jaw and split lip.

“My hero” he murmured fondly.

Harry grimaced, pulling Louis into his arms. “I’m so sorry Lou. I wish it hadn’t been this way. I know how hurt you must be.”

Louis shrugged. “At least we worked it out before he was able to do too much damage. It’s just such a shame though, isn’t it?”

Liam interrupted them then. “Harry and I need to go down and work out what’s going to happen with these two. We’ll meet you boys out at the minivan.”

Harry and Liam walked into the holding room a few minutes later, Harry’s face a stony mask of anger. He walked straight up to the pap, whose eyes widened as he recognised Harry.

“You know who I am right?” Harry asked him curtly.

The guy nodded and Harry continued. “This guy” he pointed at Matt “no longer has any access to information about myself, Louis or our whereabouts. He has been told to stay away from Louis and his family and we will press charges for stalking if he doesn’t. Do not ever rely on him as a source in future or you will be wasting your money. We won’t press charges this time, providing you keep your mouth shut about this incident and stay the hell away from us.”  He leaned down to give the guy an intimidating glare as he continued “and I suggest in future that you refrain from dealing with scum like this, because if you happen to turn up anywhere I am, I’ll make damn sure you never get a picture. Are we clear mate?”

The guy nodded again and mumbled an apology, before scooting out of the building as quickly as he could upon his release. Harry then turned on Matt, his fury radiating off him as he approached the boy.

“You” he bit out “will never even look in Louis’ direction ever again, got it? Because if you even sneeze within ten miles of him, I’ll not hold back. I will hunt you down and fucking grind you into dust. Stay away from us and from our family, or so help me it will be the very last thing you ever do. There is nowhere you can hide that I won’t find you. I hope we understand each other Matt.”

As Harry stepped away, Liam came forward. “I’m going to tell every one of our mutual acquaintances what you’ve done and if you ever come within spitting distance of the coffee shop, then tonight will be nothing compared to the beating I will give you.”

The boys then left the room and left the security guys to scare Matt a little more before they released him. They made their way to the carpark, where they could hear Ashton and Stan recounting their heroic capture of the pap.

“….and I was like “you’re going down motherfucker!” and Ashton was all like what….”

“Shall we go home?” Harry called out, interrupting Stan’s storytelling and walking over to pull Louis into his arms. “It’s been a long night.”

“Have you got any food back at your place Louis?” asked Niall. “All this excitement has made me starving!”

The other boys groaned and climbed into the car.

“What? What is with the attitude?” Niall replied indignantly “I’ll have you know that a rush of adrenaline is scientifically proven to increase blood flow and appetite! I don’t appreciate this attack on my person!”

He continued to argue his point all the way home and when they pulled up into the drive, they all pushed him out of the car and onto the grass, laughing as he tumbled over.

The front door flew open as Lottie, Fizzy, Perrie and Sophia barrelled out, all talking at once and asking for details of what happened.

All the boys started telling separate parts of the story, all at the same time and the girls were completely confused in the end, until Louis just smiled and nodded at Lottie and she hugged him. The other girls soon worked out that it had gone well and were smiling and laughing at how worked up the boys were. Sophia was fussing over Liam’s swollen knuckles and they all went inside, going straight out the backyard for a beer to unwind.

Once they’d calmed down they filled the girls in on the whole story before everyone started yawning and Liam, Sophia, Ashton and Stan all bid them goodnight. Niall and Lottie went to make tea like they had the previous night, while Zayn and Perrie headed straight to bed. Louis herded Fizzy up the stairs and the he and Harry made their way to bed.

As they entered the room, they immediately saw the two little figures asleep in the middle of the bed and Louis sighed, shaking his head. He looked across at Harry, who was giggling at them.

“You take one and I’ll take the other and we’ll lift them back to their beds.” Louis said, yawning.

Harry looked back at him with his big puppy eyes. “Can they stay Lou? Please?”

He looked so hopeful and excited and Louis turned to a pile of mush just thinking about how attached Harry was to them already – as they were to him. He was powerless to say no, so he just smiled and nodded and they crawled in on either side of the warm little bodies, snuggling around them and grinning stupidly at each other. Dot stirred and instantly slid her little hand into Harry’s curls, still snuffling softly, deep in sleep. Ernie thrashed his legs out, catching Louis in the groin and throwing himself onto his torso. Louis inhaled sharply, making a small squeaking noise, but managed to stay still enough so he didn’t wake Ernie. Harry snorted, breaking into a fit of giggles, Louis soon joining him and they lay there trying to be quiet, laughing at their ridiculous lives. From sting operation to parent duty in the blink of an eye!

 

XXXX

 

Sunday was spent lounging around in their pyjamas and eating bacon and eggs and pancakes for lunch. Harry let Ernie and Dot help him cook, so the kitchen was a war zone, but Louis couldn’t find one single fuck to give. He was beyond content.

Dot had insisted on putting a princess bandaid on Harry’s bottom lip, which looked completely ridiculous, but Harry wore it anyway because he was so touched.

Zayn and Perrie left that afternoon to head back to London, bidding the family farewell and Perrie promising to send some tickets to see Little Mix for the girls.

Niall stayed another night, saying he’d travel back to London with Harry the following day in the hired car service. Louis had almost forgotten Harry had to go to London for his outing with Nick. He felt his stomach sink, but tried to ignore it and enjoy what time he had with Harry.

Lottie and Niall were in their own little world as they chatted and sat outside, rugged up with a small fire burning in the fire pit. Louis smiled as he looked out the window and saw them holding hands and sharing small kisses.

“They do look really happy” he said to Harry wistfully. “You know Mum and Dad would’ve really liked him I think.”

“Did they like me?” Harry asked curiously. “I mean, it seemed like they did, but….”

“Oh Haz” Louis rolled his eyes “Mum had already picked the venue for our wedding! She loved you so much!”

Harry grinned. “My Mum always loved you too – speaking of which, she really wants to see you – so does Gemma and Robin.”

“I’d really like that” Louis smiled “we’ll plan something when you get back from London.”

“OK Great!” replied Harry. “I’ll drive my car back up from London so it’s here and I wondered…” he hesitated.

“What?” asked Louis.

“Well, I was wondering if I could bring a few things back with me – you know, so I have clothes and stuff here? It’d be easier and stuff, and well…”

“Harry stop” Louis interrupted. “You don’t have to ask that, of course you can – this is your home too. Besides” he added with a grin “you’re part of the family now – the proof is on the fridge!”

Harry laughed and answered “that’s right! I really am part of the family.”

Louis kissed him tenderly. “You sure are curly.”

 

XXXX

 

Harry and Niall left at the same time as Louis and the kids, Niall and Lottie holding each other tightly and promising to skype.

Louis went into work having had four days away from the shop – the most time off he’d had in four years. He hadn’t realised how much he’d needed a break and he felt great, even though he was missing Harry already.

He was surprised at how quickly Harry had become so vital to his happiness, but he shouldn’t have been. They’d always been this way – going normal pace was never something they had done. It was all in from the get go. When they were teenagers they’d fallen in too deep too quickly and that hadn’t really changed with time. He realised with a wry smile that they would always be this way – too much to be contained. Too everything. He also realised that he was OK with that. Harry was his soul mate – even as the thought made him cringe at the clichéd notion, he knew there was no other way to describe it. They had always been inevitable, there was no use fighting it.

His phone buzzed and he smiled as he saw he had a text from Harry.

 

**3.45pm**

_Miss you already babe_ _:(_

**3.46pm**

_Miss you too H_ _:(_ _You’re coming back tomorrow yeah?_

**3.47pm**

_Couldn’t keep me away!_

 

XXXX

 

Harry pulled up outside Nick’s place at seven o’clock, not surprised to see the pap used regularly by management already loitering outside.

 _So begins the games_ , he thought ruefully, hopping out of the car and nodding to the guy before walking toward Nick’s door. The guy took a few shots and then sat back to wait for them to come back out and leave.

He knocked on Nick’s door and it was only a moment before Nick was swinging it open with a smile.

“Harry!” he greeted cheerfully, pulling him into a hug, holding him long enough for a few clicks of the shutter behind them. “Come in, come in! I hear you have lots to tell me – although I’m a bit hurt I had to hear the story from Brenda, the sour bitch! Why am I the last to know about this boy?”

His tone sounded genuinely hurt and Harry felt guilty for neglecting him while he’d been so preoccupied with Louis.

“Sorry mate” he apologised. “It was so sudden and then I’ve been so caught up with him I..”

“Don’t get your knickers in a knot Harry – I just hate being the last to know the gossip, you know that!” he laughed, but it sounded a little brittle and Harry knew he was more hurt than he was letting on.

“So” he continued “tell me everything!” He poured Harry a glass of wine and Harry proceeded to tell him the whole story of himself and Louis. He told him about the kids and bragged stupidly about them, grinning widely. He also told him what had happened with Matt and how they’d agreed to play things out with management.

Nick was quiet throughout Harry’s rambling story, just smiling and nodding. When Harry had finished, he put his wine down and looked Harry in the eye.

“Harry, I want to say something and I’d like you to really think about what I’m telling you OK? You know management are in a right snit about this boy and on the whole you know I think they’re arseholes, but in this case, I happen to agree with them about this boy’s suitability for you.”

Harry tensed and he continued quickly. “Now let me finish before you go all bristly! I personally don’t think your fans will give a flying fig about this relationship, but Harry, you’re twenty – your life is just beginning for fuck’s sake! You have the world at your feet, why do you want to tie yourself down to all of that baggage? I mean, I know you loved him and I realise you probably still do, but sometimes love isn’t the only consideration. You’re giving up an amazing life to play house with this boy and I honestly believe you’ll be sorry that you did this later on.”

Harry’s face had closed off as Nick had continued speaking and he was silent for a few moments before answering.

“Listen Nick, I appreciate what you’re trying to say – I do. But you don’t understand about Louis and me and it’s difficult to explain. I’ve never loved anyone else, I couldn’t love anyone else. He’s it for me and while his situation is a difficult one, I don’t need you to be concerned that I’ll regret committing myself to it. I’d only regret _not_ having Louis and the kids in my life. The last four years have been diminished by his absence and I could never go back to that again. All the fame and money in the world is worth nothing if I don’t have him in my life.”

Nick studied him shrewdly for a moment before nodding. “OK, well, you know as your friend I had to play devil’s advocate, just to be sure you were doing the right thing, you know?”

Harry smiled. “I appreciate your concern Nick, but you needn’t worry – Louis and I are fireproof mate!”

“Alright then – let’s hit the town and put on a show shall we?” Nick winked at him.

 

XXXX

 

In the early hours of Tuesday morning, Louis was dragged from a deep sleep by the ringing of his phone. The name on the screen said Fizzy and he blinked, wondering why she’d call him and not just walk down the hall from her room.

He hit answer and said “Fizz? Tell me you’re not this lazy…”

“Hello? This is Senior Constable Samuels at Manchester DC. I’m calling you as the last call made on this phone and would like to know if you know the young lady to whom this phone belongs?”

“What?” asked Louis, confused and still sleepy. “I mean, yes I know her – did she leave her phone somewhere?”

“Are you related to the young lady sir?”

“Yes” replied Louis, growing uneasy. “I’m her guardian and brother.”

“Then I regret to inform you that the young lady has been admitted to Manchester General Hospital and I am going to need you to come down here as quickly as possible.”

“What!” Louis gasped. “But, she hadn’t left the house…..I….she was here….what?”

“I realise this is a shock sir, but we’ll explain everything when you come down. Please be assured she is in a stable condition, sir and we’ll give you all the necessary information when you arrive. Are you able to come down now?”

“Yes, yes, of course!” Louis replied, jumping out of bed. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

He hung up and went racing to Fizz’s room, just to be sure, and finding it empty he proceeded to Lottie’s room. He woke her and explained what was happening and left her in charge, promising to call as soon as he knew something.

He threw on the first clothes he could find and raced down to the hospital, dashing into the emergency department. He ran up to the reception desk, panting.

“My sister Felicitie Tomlinson was brought in – I received a phone call?”

“Yes Mr Tomlinson, I’ll take you to her now, please follow me.” She led him down a corridor that seemed to go on forever.

“Can you tell me what happened to her?” he asked the nurse.

“She was found passed out - we suspect alcohol poisoning. She also had cannabis in her system.” As Louis gasped in shock, tear springing into his eyes, she looked at him kindly. “She’s OK at the moment. We’ve pumped her stomach and she’s on a fluid IV to rehydrate her. She’s going to feel pretty awful for a couple of days though.”

“Oh my God” he breathed, tears streaming down his face.

They entered the room at the end of the hallway and Louis immediately put his hand over his mouth as he saw the small limp body lying on the bed. She looked pale and deathly still and the shock of seeing her in that state was like a physical blow, winding him. His attention was drawn by the police officer rising from the chair in the corner and walking over to him.

“Good evening sir, I’m Senior Constable Samuels – we spoke on the phone.” He held out his hand and Louis shook it numbly, nodding his head.

“Louis Tomlinson. As I said I’m Felicitie’s brother and guardian.”

“No parents?” asked the policeman gently.

“No, they died in a car accident four years ago. I’m the legal guardian of all my siblings.” He braced himself for the judgement that usually followed that statement, but none was forthcoming, just a softly spoken “I’m sorry” from the officer.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Louis asked. “I thought she was safely tucked away in her room.”

The policeman nodded. “We’d had a call a few weeks ago from the caretaker at the cemetery, saying there’d been evidence of people entering after hours, so we’ve been routinely dropping past on our nightly patrols. It was by sheer luck we scanned our flash lights across an area between two graves and noticed her body. She was lying on the ground unmoving and we naturally assumed it was a deceased person, but found her to be breathing. We called an ambulance and accompanied her here. She apparently passed out due to excessive consumption of alcohol and the addition of cannabis. She’s very lucky she didn’t die – she may have if we didn’t find her in time.”

“Jesus!” Louis shakily exhaled. “Can you tell me where in the cemetery you located her?” he asked.

“Back left corner, near the Fenwick street entrance” replied the officer.

Louis sighed and looked back at Fizzy, murmuring “our parents’ graves.”

“Figured maybe that was the case when you said your parents had passed” the officer replied. He placed a hand on Louis shoulder in comfort. “I’m sorry lad, this must be hard on you, but she’ll be fine in a few days. I’ll be back tomorrow to check in on her and to have a chat to her about her actions.”

“Thank you officer” answered Louis tiredly “I can’t tell you how grateful I am to you for saving her.”

The officer nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow Mr Tomlinson.”

When he’d left the room, Louis collapsed onto the chair next to Fizzy’s bed, taking her hand in his and letting the tears fall freely.

“Oh Fizz” he whispered “what’s going on in that head of yours?”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OK so you probably won't be liking me after this chapter! Really sorry about what's going to happen - it's not what you think. As usual, my haste to get this posted overrides my need to proof read, so forgive any errors (I may fix them at some point!)
> 
> Please stay with me and all will be well in the end, because I have to have a happy ending - it's an unwritten rule.
> 
> This chapter is short but I'll update tomorrow, so you won't have to wait long for answers!
> 
> Big Love and such a thrill to get the kudos and comments :) xxxxx

Harry found himself on the wrong side of tipsy just before midnight. He’d been drinking more than usual due to the fact that he was missing Louis and the kids and the nightlife of London held a lot less appeal than it once had.

All of a sudden, the latest gossip and who was dating who, was of little interest to him. He’d rather be shopping for toys for the twins’ birthday party, or naked with Louis – anything with Louis really, as long as they were together. He just needed to be near him like he needed to breathe and he wonders how and when that happened in the short amount of time they’d been reunited. This little family had burrowed into his life and made a home there before he’d had time to blink, and he really couldn’t be happier about it. He smiled as he thought about his two little munchkins. He doesn’t know when he started thinking of them as his – probably the same time they laid claim to him.

“Oh God Harry” sighed Nick “you really have got it bad haven’t you? Well for the record – this relationship has made you dull – dull and boring! C’mon” he added as he pulled Harry to his feet “if you’re going to be no fun at all, we should just head home and you can sod off back to Manchester in the morning like I know you can’t wait to do.”

Harry felt bad because he knows behind the snarky comments Nick is a little hurt. “I’m sorry Nick, I really am.” He put on his best puppy pouting face and failed miserable due to his drunken state, but it was enough to get Nick to chuckle and swing an arm around him.

“You’re fucking ridiculous Harry! C’mon let’s get out of here.” He headed for the exit, arm still slung around Harry’s shoulders as they exited the club. They were immediately papped and Harry held an arm up against the flashing bulbs after the dimness of the club lighting. He relied on Nick to guide him out and they jumped into the waiting cab and set off home.

 

XXXXX

 

Fizzy fought her way to consciousness at around five o’clock that morning, groaning as she stirred, obviously feeling rotten. Her eyes slid open then closed quickly, before the fact that she wasn’t at home registered and her eyes flew open in a terrified panic. Louis leaned over her, placing a calming hand on her arm and commanding her attention.

“Shhh, Fizz, it’s alright love, I’m here.”

When she spoke, her raspy voice was barely louder than a whisper it was so hoarse. “Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital love” he replied, stroking her hair back from her forehead. “You passed out at the graveside and you were brought here.”

As the memory of what she’d been doing hit her, her face became panicked and she looked back at Louis, eyes welling with tears.

“I’m so sorry Lou!” she said, voice like gravel.

“Shhh, let’s not talk just yet OK? There’ll be time for that later. I’m just glad you’re alright, you gave me such a scare Fizz!” His voice broke on the last words and his tears began falling – tears of relief and of sadness. “When I saw you lying here I couldn’t breathe. I thought I’d lost you Fizz.” He pulled her gently into his arms and they both cried as she clung to him.

When they were all cried out, Lou climbed onto the bed beside her and she lay on his chest. After about an hour of just lying there, Louis dozing in and out, Fizzy started nervously picking at the hem of his sweatshirt as she began to speak.

“I really am sorry Lou” she sighed. “I’ve been so angry, at you and Lottie and everyone really, that I just didn’t know who to talk to, or how to handle it.”

“Angry? Can I ask why?” Louis said calmly.

“I just. I miss them so much, you know? And everybody seems to have conveniently forgotten that the twins’ birthday isn’t just their day – it’s Mum and Dad’s day. They died the day the twins were born. It’s a _sad_ day. And it’s like you and Lottie decided that we can’t acknowledge that because it would spoil the twins’ day and that makes me so angry. After the first two years, you stopped us going to the grave on that day and I think that it’s horrible we don’t go on the anniversary of their death. It’s like I’m not allowed to grieve for them or miss them or be sad. Daisy and Phoebe talk to each other all the time about Mum and Dad – I’ve heard them, but they don’t talk to me. You and Lottie, as usual, have your little parent club of two and you get to talk to each other about everything, but you don’t include me in any of that. I’m just the one in the middle and I don’t have anybody.” She paused before continuing. “I feel like we’re just forgetting about them. You don’t like to talk about them, we never talk about them as a family. You took down the pictures when it first happened because it was too hard, and I get that, but even after four years they’ve never come back out. I started going to the grave to see them because it was the only way to feel close to them. I started drinking when I was there hoping to numb the pain and I would just sit and talk to them – I thought it’d make me feel happy, I guess? I don’t know. It didn’t really work, but…it did numb the pain I guess.”

Louis was crying quietly as she spoke, the realisation of just how badly he’d failed with Fizzy gnawing at him.

“Fizz, I’m sorry. I was so busy trying to keep it all together I didn’t realise you were hurting. I had no idea you felt so alone. Lottie and I didn’t consciously exclude you, it’s just that we had to grow up so fast and we lost so much of our young years because of that. We didn’t want that for you – we didn’t want you to be burdened with worry and responsibility. So we tried to keep your life as carefree as possible – including not reminding you of a time in your life that was so awful. I suppose in the process of doing that we forgot you needed to grieve.” He sighed and continued.

“It’s not that I don’t care about Mum and Dad, Fizz, or that I want to forget them – I think about them every day. You’d be surprised how often I speak to them, ask for their help. There’s been times I thought I’d never be able to do it, but I know they’re up there looking out for me. I guess I’ve been reluctant to talk about that time in my life because it was so traumatic for me Fizz. They were very dark days for me and I honestly thought there were times I wouldn’t make it through.” He paused. “There was a time I actually thought maybe I should just end it all, because the pain was too great.”

Fizzy gasped, squeezing his hand tighter.

“It was Liam who talked me down that night. He reminded me that if I was gone, nobody would be there for you lot. He reminded me I had people to live for – people who depended on me. Thank God for him that night, because I wasn’t thinking straight, that’s for sure. I’ve been so caught up in dealing with my own grief, I forgot to think about how you were handling it and I’m so sorry I let you down.”

Fizzy slid her arm around his waist and squeezed. “Oh Lou, you’re so strong that I forget how hard it’s been for you too. You always seem to have it all together and I just thought you had forgotten about them.”

“Never” whispered Louis. “Listen, how about when you get discharged we sit down and talk about starting some new traditions to make sure they’re always remembered. Ways to celebrate their lives. Starting with putting the photos back up. I guess I was just trying to make sure the twins didn’t spend every birthday grieving, but there is nothing wrong with celebrating what was wonderful about our parents at the same time.”

Fizzy smiled a watery smile back up at him. “I’d like that.”

Louis was quiet for a while before he cleared his throat and quietly asked “Fizz, I have to ask about the weed, yeah? Why did you take it – and where did you get it?”

“I got it from a kid at school. It was just the two times I promise – it wasn’t even that good, it just kind of made me a bit sick. I know it’s stupid! Harry already flipped his lid at me about it, don’t worry! He was proper mad – he’s gonna have a shitfit when he finds out about this because I promised him it wouldn’t happen again.”

Louis had tensed underneath her, his lungs empty and unable to breathe.

“Lou? Are you OK?” asked Fizzy.

Louis forced himself to relax his body and regain his breathing before he answered “Yeah. When was this – when Harry found out?” he asked calmly.

“A few weeks ago” she replied. “I made him promise not to tell you and in return I promised never to let it happen again. He wasn’t happy about it, but he agreed.”

“Mhm” Louis replied quietly. He was seething, the white hot fury burning through his body, but he forced himself to remain calm and relaxed and tried to focus on Fizzy.

Fizzy looked across at him. “I promise you Lou, it will never happen again. I swear.”

Louis grabbed her hand squeezing it. “I’m gIad – I couldn’t take it Fizz! I just want you to remember that you can talk to both Lottie and me and that we’ll always want to listen. We’re a family, we need to stick together.”

“Team Tomlinson” Fizzy smiled softly. “I want us to be like that again Lou.”

“We will be Fizzy – I’ll make sure of it.”

 

At about nine thirty, the door flew open and Lottie rushed in, tears forming the minute she saw Fizzy in the bed.

“Thank God!” she cried and ran to the bed, hugging Fizzy fiercely. “I love you so much Fizzy! Why didn’t you talk to me? What were you thinking?”

Fizzy and Louis then explained everything to Lottie and they all cried together a bit more. Fizzy agreed to talk to them about how she was feeling in future and they spent the rest of the morning sharing their favourite memories of their parents and Louis realised he was able to do so without the intense pain he once had – the joy of the memories was comforting and helped to heal some of the residual pain. He realised they should have done this sooner and vowed to make it a thing in future.

Lottie offered to stay with Fizzy – she’d taken the day off Uni anyway and her end of semester break was in a week, so she wasn’t missing much. Louis readily agreed and left to go home to catch up on some sleep, then shower and head to the café to check on things. Liam had called Stan in and Ashton was on duty as well today, so it should be fine.

As soon as he was alone in his car, the fury over Harry’s betrayal came flooding back and he found himself shaking with it as he drove down the road toward home. _How dare he?_ How dare Harry make a decision regarding his children like this – and such a serious one. How dare he lie to him and keep important information from him – Fizzy could’ve died today and Harry could have prevented that from happening.

Without thinking, he dialled Harry’s number. Harry answered on the third ring.

“Hey babe! I’m just at my flat grabbing a few….”

“Don’t bother Harry” he bit out.

“What?” replied Harry, his confusion clear.

“Don’t bother getting any stuff together, I don’t want you to come back!”

“Lou? What’s going on?”

“Guess where I spent the night Harry? At the fucking hospital!”

“What?! What…”

“Fizzy was brought in unconscious from alcohol and weed, but apparently that shouldn’t come as a surprise to you because you ALREADY FUCKING KNEW!!!!” he was screaming now, unable to contain his anger.

Harry was silent for a moment before he spoke quietly.

“Oh My God!” he breathed “Lou, I’m so sorry. You have to believe me – I never wanted to lie to you….”

“But you did Harry! You lied to me. You and I were back together for what? Ten seconds? And you fancied yourself a parent did you? You had no fucking right Harry! She could’ve died – do you understand that? She could’ve died and I wouldn’t have had a fucking clue what was going on!”

He was crying now, anger and fear at what might have happened choking him up. He could hear Harry crying on his end of the phone but he was too upset to care, just kept yelling.

“How dare you? You made a decision regarding _my_ child’s welfare – a seriously wrong decision. We are supposed to be a team and you betrayed me Harry! How am I supposed to trust you now?”

“Lou please!” Harry pleaded, voice wobbling with emotion. “I’m so sorry! Please forgive me – I made a terrible mistake, I…..”

“I can’t do this right now Harry! I can’t even think straight. I’m so tired, I….”

Louis was so caught up in the million scattered thoughts screaming through his brain, he didn’t see the red light and sailed straight through it. When the car collected him from the left, he blacked out immediately, hitting his head on the side window.

Harry had heard the screaming brakes and the sound of the smashing glass and felt his heart stop, and his blood run cold. He was left screaming down the phone, helpless and in shock, wondering whether his world had just fallen apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaggghhh! SORRY! Stay tuned tomorrow to see how Louis is doing and how Harry reacts!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OMG! I tried to get this out earlier, but nearly 6000 words later, it has been a mammoth chapter to write and I was really trying to get it right and it was soooo hard I got a headache!!
> 
> Thanks for reading! As usual - bugger all proofing has gone into this - oh well!
> 
> Thanks also for all the comments - I had so much fun reading them all. :) xx

Thank God for Niall.

When Harry’s legs had given way and he fell to the floor of his flat, chest heaving and sobs wracking his body, he’d blindly dialled Niall’s number and while he wasn’t able to form a coherent sentence, Niall had realised something serious had happened and dropped everything, racing around to Harry’s.

They were now speeding up the motorway to Manchester. Niall had called Lottie and told her what had happened and she had raced to the emergency reception just as the ambulance had arrived. They weren’t able to tell her anything until he was seen by a doctor, but he was alive. She called Niall back to tell him and the Bluetooth sounded loud in the silent car.

“He’s alive, that’s all I know at this stage” she told him before quickly hanging up to speak with a nurse.

A strangled sound of relief left Harry’s throat and he dropped his head into his hands as his tears started anew. “Thank God” he whispered.

Niall reached out and grabbed his hand over the middle console. “Everything will be alright Harry, you’ll see.”

Harry gripped his hand like a lifeline, willing those words to be true. They had another three hours of travel before they could get to Louis and Harry mentally begged him to hold on.

“His last words were angry Niall – he was so angry with me. I lied to him – I let him down and now he might die with that as his last thought. I don’t think I could bear it.”

 

XXXX

 

Lottie hung up the phone from Liam after arranging for him to collect the four younger kids from school and bring them to the hospital at three o’clock. Niall and Harry should arrive around then and hopefully she’d have some good news to give them.

She and Fizzy were trying not to panic, but it was such an eerie feeling as they remembered the day their parents died, remembering the way it played out and the similarities. It brought back all the feelings from that day, all the pain, and they were terrified of the same outcome. She felt nauseated and her heart was pounding in her chest, but she tried to remain outwardly calm for Fizzy’s sake.

Waiting for the doctors seemed to take an eternity. They had Louis in a room, working on him, for a long time and nobody would tell them anything, until finally, a doctor came to see them in Fizzy’s room.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Cranston” he shook their hands. “Your brother is in a very serious condition, but we’ve managed to stabilise him. Due to the injuries he sustained and his trauma to the head, we have put him in an induced coma to give him a chance to heal.”

The girls gasped.

“Now please don’t be alarmed – this is fairly standard procedure in these cases. He’s actually very lucky. He was wearing his seat belt so it could have been a lot worse. He has a broken collarbone and two fractured ribs, in addition to some rather large gashes on his torso and legs. His face suffered some scrapes and scratches but is relatively good, considering. He’ll have some internal bruising and of course, he sustained a shocking concussion and a slight swelling to the brain, which is what necessitated the induced coma. But the fluid should recede over the next few days. Once it has, we can bring him back out and then he’ll just need to stay under observation until he recovers fully.”

“So he’ll be alright?” asked Fizzy.

“I believe so, yes” the doctor replied. “Head injuries are always a bit dicey, but providing he comes back out of the coma well, there should be no lasting damage.”

“Thank God” breathed Lottie. “Thank you so much Doctor Cranston. When can we see him?”

“Not for a few hours yet – I’d like him in ICU Recovery for a while so we can monitor him. I’ll send a nurse in to get you when it’s OK to visit. Please bear in mind he’s on a ventilator and is quite banged up, it can sometimes be a bit of a shock when you first see them.”

 

XXXX

 

They were still waiting for the nurse to return when Harry and Niall arrived. Harry raced into the room, Niall hot on his heels. He ran to Lottie and Fizzy, hugging them both. Lottie noted that he looked like hell, his eyes were red and puffy and his hair was sticking out everywhere, like he’d run his hand through it a thousand times. His voice was hoarse from crying as he asked “where is he?”

The girls explained that they were waiting to be taken in to see him. They also relayed what the doctor had told them. Harry’s breath hitched as he listened to what had happened to Louis.

He was agitated, pacing the room like a caged lion. He needed to see his boy. He was going to go crazy waiting after four hours of waiting in the car ride from London. Niall let go of Lottie’s hand and moved to place his hands on Harry’s shoulders.

“Haz, you need to calm down mate – they won’t let you anywhere near him if you’re agitated.”

Harry stared at Niall, processing his words before nodding. “You’re right” he replied, physically seeming to settle. “You’re right.” He pulled over a chair and sat down, legs twitching and bouncing, but less agitated than he was.

It was no more than ten minutes later when the nurse entered the room, telling them that only two people at a time could go in to see Louis..

Harry looked at Lottie and Fizzy, the disappointment clearly written on his face as he said “You two go – you’re family. I’ll go next.”

Fizzy waddled over to him in her hospital gown and hugged him. “You and Lottie go Harry – I know he’d want to see you.”

Harry hugged her back fiercely. “Thank you” he whispered.

 

XXXX

 

The room was dimly lit and deathly quiet save for the beeping machines that were currently keeping Louis alive. Seeing him lying lifeless on the bed highlighted just how small his frame was. He looked so tiny and frail that Harry could barely breathe just looking at his limp body – no sign of life. He stood frozen in the doorway but as Lottie moved forward, she pulled him by the hand.

He approached the bed slowly, afraid of what he’d see. Louis was lying on the bed, tube coming out of his mouth and hooked up to a plethora of machines and Harry crumpled into the chair by the bedside carefully taking Louis’ hand in his.

“I did this” he told Lottie brokenly, staring at Louis’ battered face. “He was so angry with me Lotts. I lied to him, I’m the reason Fizz was in hospital.” Tear slid down his cheeks quietly as he spoke and Lottie placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Harry, Fizz was in hospital because of all of us – including her own poor choices. We are all to blame, but we can’t all wallow in guilt. Louis and I knew she was going through something but we thought we’d give her some space when it turns out that what she really needed was for us not to shut her out. You lied to Lou and yes, that was a mistake, but you’re not perfect and I know you wouldn’t knowingly do anything to hurt him – or any of us. Deep down he knows it too, he was just emotional and lashing out at you because he was just as upset with himself. He’s incredibly hard on himself – always has been. He feels like he has to be this perfect parent to make up for Mum and Dad not being there, but the truth is that all we need is to be loved. All parents make mistakes – he needs to cut himself, and you, a little slack.”

Harry reached up and placed a hand over Lottie’s, squeezing it. “Thank you.”

“You really do love my brother don’t you?” she asked quietly.

“Yes” he answered, looking down at Louis a tiny smile forming at the corners of his mouth. “I’ve always loved him, from the moment we met it’s always been him.”

They sat in silence for a while, then Lottie left to give Fizz and Niall an update, leaving Harry alone with Louis.

Harry leant down to kiss Louis’ forehead softly. “I’m so sorry Lou. I never meant to let you down. I never meant for anything like this to happen. I love you so much. I promise I’ll do anything to make it up to you, just get better for me, yeah?” He raised Louis’ hand and placed a kiss on his wrist before laying it back on the bed.

He doesn’t know how long it is before Fizzy shuffles in. She came to stand beside him, looking down at Louis. “This is all my fault” she said. “If I hadn’t been so stupid, this wouldn’t have happened.”

Harry stood and hugged her. “It’s not your fault Flick, it’s mine. I was the one who lied to him.”

“And I was the one who asked you to” she replied matter-of-factly. Then she turned to Louis and added “and he was the one who decided to use his bloody mobile phone while driving. Oh Lou! What were you thinking?” She cried then, deep wracking sobs as she stared down at her brother and parent, still and unmoving on the bed. Harry held her tightly, whispering soothing words for what seemed like hours but was only probably a few minutes. “We all feel responsible for this Fizzy, but guilt won’t help anything and Louis wouldn’t want you to feel responsible for this OK?”

She nodded and he added “C’mon, let’s get you back to your room. You need to recover too my girl.”

 

XXXX

 

When they arrived back at Fizzy’s room, Liam had arrived with the younger children and there was noise and chaos as Lottie tried to assure a very distressed Daisy and Phoebe that Louis was OK, while Ernie and Dot clung to her legs.

When Harry entered the room, Ernie and Dot ran straight over, throwing themselves at his legs. He hugged both of them to him, then went to sit in a chair, both of them climbing into his lap.

“Hello munchkins!” he said as cheerfully as he was able, hugging them into his chest.

Dot put her hands up to trace the tear tracks and his red puffy eyes. “Were you crying Harry?”

“Yes I was poppet. I was a bit sad because Daddy had an accident in his car and I was scared that he was hurt.”

“Is he hurt very bad?” asked Ernie, wide-eyed and obviously frightened.

“Well” Harry answered carefully “he was hurt pretty bad, yes, but the doctors have been doing a great job of making him better and he’s doing well now. He just got a lot of scrapes and a couple of broken bones, so he needs to have some special rest time in a quiet room so he can get better more quickly.”

 

XXXX

 

The next three days flew by in a blur. Harry and Niall stayed at the house and Niall called Management, letting them know that they’d need to rearrange the schedule planned for writing sessions starting in two weeks, to give them an extra couple of weeks’ leave. They were less than happy, but agreed, stating that they couldn’t organise any further time after that, due to appearance schedules in the US.

Liam and Sophia stepped in and took care of things at the café, with Stan and Ashton both pitching in to help and working extra hours.

They’d decided – Harry, Lottie and Niall, that the four younger kids shouldn’t see Louis on the ventilator, as it would be too traumatic, so they would have to wait the three days to see him, which left them unsettled, having no tangible proof that he was OK.

In order to reassure them, Harry threw himself into maintaining as normal a routine for the kids as possible, dropping them off at school himself before heading to the hospital to sit with a non-responsive Louis all day and then heading to the school at three o’clock to collect them again. He tried to maintain that constant presence that Louis had always been for them and they seemed to respond to it.

Fizzy was discharged the day after and was going to have the remaining week off school. She spent all her time shadowing Lottie and Niall, who were happy to include her.

Lottie had taken the time off Uni as it was Semester end anyway, but Harry was reluctant relinquish any chores to her, determined to do it all himself. It was like he was trying to prove to Louis that he could do it – that he could be a good parent. He was exhausted and wrung out and he couldn’t imagine how Louis had done this with newborn babies at eighteen, Lottie at fifteen – but he was happy too. He hadn’t realised how difficult and demanding parenting was, but the rewards were tenfold.

Every evening, they had all started gathering in the lounge room to play board games or cards together and it was something they all looked forward to. Niall was a great help, making it fun and taking everybody’s mind off the fact that they’d not been able to see Louis yet.

Every night, Ernie and Dot crawled in beside him and he found he needed the physical contact with them as much as they needed him. He had them draw pictures for Louis that he took to the hospital each day and showed Louis, even though Louis didn’t open his eyes.

On the third day, he arrived at the hospital and swung by the cafeteria to grab a coffee and a magazine to help pass the time. The doctor would be coming around at eleven and Lottie, Fizzy and Niall were coming over to be with him then.

As he browsed the row of magazines, pictures of himself caught his eye and he reached for the offending material, wanting to see what had been written. He scanned the pages and his heart sank. There were the spread of photos from his night out with Nick, all creating the illusion of intimacy that had never bothered him before, but bothered him now.

While they’d agreed to a distraction, they hadn’t agreed to the inference that Harry was cheating – merely that he would be seen to be having a life in addition to the one he shared with Louis, downplaying how serious his relationship with Louis was.

All of a sudden, though, Harry was fed up with all of it. He didn’t want to pretend his relationship with Louis wasn’t the most important thing in his life. He didn’t want people to think that’s how he treated Louis and he didn’t want people thinking Louis was just a doormat that accepted cheating from him. They were better than that – they _deserved_ better than that.

He put the magazine back, not in the mood for reading anymore. Instead he bought his coffee and a Danish and made his way to Louis’ room. He walked in and straight up to Louis’ bed, putting his coffee and Danish on the side table as he leaned down to kiss his forehead.

“Good morning love” he murmured. “The kids are good – Ernie and Dot did another drawing for you” he giggled as he held them up. “It’s a picture of us all at the zoo. I promised we’d take them when you get better - I hope that’s OK?” He placed them beside the bed and grabbed his coffee, taking a sip and holding Louis’ hand.

He continued to chatter away, filling Louis in on every little thing that had happened over the past two and a half days. He fell silent as he ate his Danish and finished his coffee, but the room wasn’t quiet for long as Lottie, Fizzy and Niall bustled in.

“There’s paps out the front of the hospital” Niall informed him. “Word was bound to get out I suppose, with all the people that have seen you here. It’ll probably get worse over the next few days, mate. You’d better prepare yourself.”

Harry merely shrugged. He seemed lost in thought for a moment before he told Niall about the magazine article.

“Like, I’m just tired of it all Niall. I’m tired of not being able to tell people I love him, that he’s my partner. I don’t want to say “no comment”. I want to say that yes, he’s the person I love most in the world. I want to take him to events and show him off and I don’t want to have to limit what we do in the public eye. I’m just sick of all the games.”

Niall sat beside him and looked at him. “Harry, you know that Zayn and I only want you to be happy. None of us want this band’s success to come before our own personal happiness, ever. If you want the world to know that Louis is the one you love, then we’re behind you one hundred percent. Fuck management – there’s no specific clauses in our contract about this! Their plan was just that – a suggested plan. If it doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t. The fans already know about Louis and most of them think you’re a great couple. There may be some issues to sort out with regard to the privacy for the kids, but I’ve no doubt it’ll work out OK. As long as we’re all on the same page, there’s a good network of people around you two and I believe we can handle anything.   Lottie and I already talked about it, and we’re not keen on hiding out either.”

Harry hugged him. “Thank you. I really mean it. You and Zayn are the best friends I could ever ask for.”

The doctor came in soon after and explained that the swelling on Louis’ brain had gone down completely so it was time to remove the ventilator and bring him back out of the coma. They wheeled Louis into the ICU and the doctor promised them they could see him when he regained consciousness.

It was a restless wait for them all, Harry pacing the room once more. At two o’clock precisely, a nurse came into the room, asking them to follow her to the ICU unit. She explained on the way that while Louis had regained consciousness, he was still quite groggy and his throat would be raw from the tubes, so not to expect much. Harry was just so relieved he was awake that nothing else mattered.

They entered the room and Louis’ eyes immediately sought them out from the centre of the bed. He was still hooked up to the machines, and his left arm was in a brace to stabilise his collarbone, but he looked more alive than he had in days. Harry wanted to run to him, but suddenly felt unsure after the way things had been left between them. He hung back as Lottie and Fizzy moved forward, kissing Louis’ forehead and fussing over him.

As they moved back, Louis looked over to him and his face showed a steady stream of mixed emotions as he held out a hand saying in a raspy voice “Haz.”

That was all it took for Harry to cross the room and grab his hand, tears already falling. He couldn’t help the desperate sobbing that shook him as he told Louis how sorry he was, that he loved him.

Louis let go of his hand to run his fingers through Harry’s curls and tilt his head up so they were looking at each other. His eyes were soft and watery as he croaked out “I’m sorry too Haz.” Just those few words were enough to make him cough, wincing in pain as the jolt shot through his fractured ribs and collarbone.

“Shhhh” Harry soothed. “We’ll talk later, OK? I’m here – I’m not going anywhere.” He gently kissed Louis’ cheek and re-joined their hands. When it reached quarter to three, Lottie Fizzy and Niall left to pick up the kids and give them the good news that they’d be able to visit tomorrow. She turned to Harry.

“You’ve been doing everything – let me take care of things at home today and you stay here and look after Lou. You need to be _here_ tonight Harry.” She then turned to Louis.

“Don’t worry about anything love, Harry here’s been doing a bang up job with everything in your absence – right little homemaker he is!” she teased.

Louis raised his eyebrows questioningly at Harry, squeezing his hand. Harry blushed. “Well I haven’t really done that much, just tried to keep the routine as much the same as I can, you know? Thought that was important….” He trailed off self-consciously.

“Don’t be so humble Harry” Lottie scolded. “You’ve been amazing. I couldn’t have got through these last few days without you!”

When Lottie and Niall left, Louis reached his hand up to cup Harry’s face, trying to tell him without words how much he loved him, how sorry he was and how grateful he was that Harry had jumped into the breach at home. He felt an enormous amount of guilt at the horrible things he’d said to Harry on the phone before the accident.  

Harry smiled back at him, placing his hand over Louis’ and saying “I know there’s things you’d like to say Lou, but rest your throat. Just listen OK? There’s some things that I need to say too.” He paused and Louis nodded, watching him closely.

Harry took a deep breath. “Lou, I’m sorry I lied to you.” Louis squeezed his hand and shook his head as if to say, it’s alright. “No, I know it was unforgiveable. I didn’t realise the possible consequences – the danger to Fizzy by me keeping that secret. I didn’t realise what a hard job you had, what a serious business raising children is, and I made a terrible error in judgement. If you can forgive me, I want you to know that I will never lie to you again. I want to be someone you can trust with your kids - that you can trust _period_. I will endeavour to make this up to you by being better, but I can’t guarantee that I won’t make mistakes – just that lying won’t be one of them. You’ll have to be patient with me love. You have four years more experience at this than me after all.” He smiled. “We jumped into this so quickly and I think I just thought it would be easy because we loved each other – but it’s not. It’s harder, I think, because we’re so invested in this, you know? There’s so much at stake.” Louis nodded and they sat quietly holding hands for a few moments before Harry continued.

“I saw the photos of Nick and I in a magazine from Monday night’s outing and I hated it, Lou. I hate all the games and the lying by omission. I also think it’s confusing for the kids, which is why I am putting a stop to it.”

Louis frowned in confusion.

“I’m going to tell management I don’t want to play an angle where our relationship is concerned – that I want to be an open book. I want the world to know I love you, Lou, that we’re together and that we are all a family….if that’s what you still want?” He looked so vulnerable as he looked back at Louis and Louis beckoned him forward with his finger and then kissed him gently on the lips.

Harry smiled. “I’ll take that as a yes.” Louis grinned.

“I realise that being open about the nature of our relationship will present some challenges, but if we stay strong and work together, I know we can work it out, yeah? If there’s one thing this accident has driven home for me, it’s that life is too short to waste on that stuff. I know exactly what’s important in my life and what’s not – it couldn’t be clearer.”

Louis nodded, his eyes welling with tears as he smiled a watery smile back at Harry. Harry leaned down and wiped the tears away as they fell and realised they’d be alright. They’d make it through this and come out the other side stronger than ever.

Louis tired very quickly after that and Harry slept by his bedside that night. When he exited the hospital the following morning to go home and shower, he was inundated with paps, asking about Louis’ condition. Harry smiled and instead of saying “no comment” this time, he paused and made a statement.

“My boyfriend Louis was in a car accident but is recovering well. We thank you for your good wishes.”

“So you are confirming your relationship with Mr Tomlinson?” asked one of the paps.

“Yes” replied Harry with a smile.

“What about Nick Grimshaw?” asked another.

“Well as far as I know Nick _isn’t_ in a relationship with Louis” Harry deadpanned. There was a scattering of laughter before Harry continued. “Nick and I are and have always been, great friends. We are not, nor have we ever been in a romantic relationship. I hope that clears things up.” He nodded then and bid them goodbye as he got into his car and left.

Later that day Twitter went into a mini meltdown over Harry and his boyfriend, and Management went into a mini meltdown at Harry’s defiance of their carefully crafted plan.

 

XXXX

 

When Louis was moved to a general ward two days later, he had full command of his voice and was a lot more mobile, able to walk short distances. Harry and he had managed to charm the nurses, always getting them sneaking in with extra tea and biscuits and fussing over them.

Harry took a photo of Louis in bed with his arm still in the sling, grinning and making a silly face. He immediately tweeted it with the caption:

**_Playing nurse to this sexy patient ;)_ **

 

Niall also took a selfie of him, Harry and Louis and tweeted it, the caption reading:

**_Glad to see our mate on the mend!_ ** **_J_ **

 

Louis got Fizzy to set him up a Twitter account the next time she was in and he followed Harry, Niall and Zayn.

He then replied to Harry’s tweet.

**_@Harry_Styles: Best looking nurse in the place, curly ;)_ **

 

His Twitter follows exploded within hours.

 

It was always loud when the kids visited, but Louis always perked up when they came. They had made so many cards and paintings that the wall next to Louis’ bed was covered in them.

In the quiet of the evening, Louis told Harry all the things he’d wanted to say that first day.

“I set you an impossible standard Harry. I put you up on a pedestal and expected you to be perfect and that wasn’t fair. We happened so fast and you had to deal with me, the kids, all our baggage and all yours. I threw you in at the deep end. How could we _not_ make mistakes? I lashed out at you and I said so many hurtful things that night and I am _so_ sorry for that. Lashing out at you gave me a target for the blame, you know, because I couldn’t bear to face my part in all of this. But I want you to know Haz, that you _are_ family and that you are my co-parent and that I’m in this all the way. I trust you – always and without question. I’m sorry I made you think otherwise.”

“Lou” Harry interrupted, taking his hand and raising it to his lips. “Let’s put it behind us. Let’s forgive each other our mistakes and move forward, yeah? Because that’s what families do - and you and the kids, you are my family.”

“Sounds good to me” grinned Louis.

“Speaking of family” added Harry, grimacing “my Mum is on her way over. She insisted on coming and she’s been cooking for days, so expect the fridge to be full and a lot of fussing over you when you get home!”

 

XXXX

 

Louis was in hospital a total of six more days before they released him the day before the twins’ birthday party. Harry had assured him that it was still on and that he, Niall and Lottie had made all the plans and bought all the presents.

“Trust me Lou, it’s all under control!” he grinned as he held Louis’ arm, helping him walk slowly out of the hospital. There was an inevitable rush of paps but they kept a respectful distance as they photographed Harry playing doting partner to his injured boyfriend.

They arrived home to find Anne baking cookies with all four of the younger kids, with Fizzy hanging on the periphery enjoying just watching and soaking up the motherly vibe Anne was giving off. They all stopped to welcome Louis home and Anne tearfully embraced him.

“It’s been a long time Louis. I’m so happy you boys found each other again and I’m so _so_ sorry for your loss darling.”

Louis sank into her, relishing the feeling of someone fussing over him in that motherly way. He realised how much he’d missed it. Even the smell of her was familiar in that it reminded him of his mother.

Harry looked at Fizzy. “Are we all set up?” he asked.

She grinned and nodded. Louis looked between the two of them and narrowed his eyes. “What have you two cooked up? You look suspicious and shifty.”

Harry giggled and Fizzy tried hard not to grin as she replied “you’ll have to wait to find out!”

 

XXXX

 

Anne had cooked a roast dinner in honour of Louis’ return and it smelled amazing. Louis was drawn to the kitchen, where he was told not to wander to any other parts of the house until he was told.

When he expressed his concern about these developments, Anne simply patted his cheek gently and said “you’ll love the surprise, so be patient!”

After dinner, Louis was led, blindfolded, into the lounge room, everyone gathering around. When Harry removed the blindfold, it was to see a large sign across the wall saying welcome home Louis! There was also a projector and laptop set up, projecting on to one of the blank white walls.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“Well” answered Fizzy “we wanted to remember Mum and Dad tonight, to celebrate getting you home safe and sound. We found some old home movies so Niall had them converted to a USB drive. We thought we could all watch them together, you know – remember the good times?”

Louis grinned. “What a wonderful idea! I can’t believe you found those!”

“Yeah” replied Fizzy “Harry and I searched through so many boxes in the basement to find them. I gave up but he kept at it and he eventually found them!”

Louis turned into Harry’s arms and planted a kiss on his neck as he whispered “thank you H” his voice breaking on the last word.

They turned the projector on and Ernie and Dot sat on Harry and Anne’s knees to watch the films. As the first frame appeared, it was a close up of Jay’s face and Louis felt a pang in his chest as he took in her familiar features. Harry reached sideways and squeezed his hand, grounding him and calming him.

Then Jay smiled so brightly at the camera and Louis felt himself smiling back at her. He’d forgotten how beautiful she was, how full of joy and energy. Dan then appeared in the frame, waving and laughing as well.

“Is that our Mummy and our other Daddy?” Ernie asked.

“Sure is mate” Harry replied.

“She’s beautiful!” breathed Dot.

“She sure was” said Louis. “I bet she’s making a beautiful Angel up there in heaven.”

Dot reached over and patted Louis’ cheek. “I think so too Daddy.”

They watched several videos and Louis snuck a few glances at the girls to gauge their reactions.

All four older girls were staring at the screen, smiles wide and eyes watery as they watched their mum and dad smile back at them. Louis realised just how much he’d taken from them when he’d packed away the memories and tried his best to ignore them. As he looked around the room and saw the joy this moment had brought, he vowed he would never do that again.

When the videos were finished, Harry dragged a box out from behind the couch.

“When I was looking for the videos, I came across these amazing photos frames, with pictures of your parents. If you’d like, we could choose our favourites to put up on the wall.”

Niall leaned down beside the chair he was sitting in and produced some hooks and a hammer. “I’ll be on hanging duty!” he grinned.

The kids all squealed and attacked the box of photos, all exclaiming over their favourites. Louis walked over to Harry and placed his free hand on his hip, looking up at him with so much love.

“Thank you curly. This is the best welcome home you could’ve given me – given all of us.”

Harry gave him a lopsided grin before kissing him gently and throwing himself back into the chaos. An hour later they had chosen six pictures and Niall had hung them on the walls in the lounge room and hallway.

They ushered everyone off to bed then, Anne offering to read Ernie and Dot a bedtime story. Daisy, Phoebe and Fizzy grabbed a couple of the family albums they found in the box and decided to have a sleepover in Fizzy’s room so they could flick through them. As they left the room, Fizzy asked Lou “Did you like the surprise Lou?”

“I loved it Fizz. It was a brilliant idea – I think we’ve found our first tradition, yeah?”

She grinned. “Yeah” she answered before turning and throwing her arms around Harry.

“Thank you Harry – so much!”

He closed his eyes and hugged her tightly. “My pleasure Flickster.”

 

XXXX

 

When they got into bed, they lay in the dark just content to be in each other’s space. Harry was lying on his side, running his hand up and down Louis’ free arm.

“Lou?”

“Mhm?” he replied drowsily.

“About tomorrow…..the party?”

“What about it?”

“Well, Niall and I may have gone a bit overboard. Don’t be mad OK?”

Louis chuckled. “Oh God Harry! What did you do?”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for a little fluff and fun - all that angst nearly killed me!
> 
> Split this chapter into two as it was getting too long - new one up tomorrow night - ish.
> 
> Thanks to you all for the lovely comments - you just make my day, truly. :)
> 
> A shout out to Sassy_Boo_Bear who makes me smile every day - love our chats!

It was still early the next morning, the house quiet around them, when Harry slipped out of bed and crept down to the lounge room where Niall was sleeping. He gently woke Niall, who looked confused for a moment before Harry whispered “It’s party time!”

Niall grinned from ear to ear and threw back his duvet, both boys giggling with excitement as they made their way down to the basement. They’d been planning this in detail all week.

The first thing they did was drag up the multitude of wrapped gifts for the twins, laying them all out in the lounge room. There was a pile of presents wrapped in Ninja Turtle wrapping paper for Ernie and Disney’s Frozen wrapping paper for Dot.

The stood looking at the ridiculously large piles of presents and Niall turned to him and chuckled.

“Toys R Us Manchester just had their biggest year yet!” he laughed. “I thought that guy at the register was gonna shit himself when we walked up with this lot!”

Harry beamed back at him. “I can’t wait to see their faces!”

He was humming with anticipation for the day ahead, wanting everything to be perfect. They went into the kitchen and set the table for a big family breakfast, decorating the table with glitter and streamers.

“Alright” said Niall gleefully rubbing his hands together “time for the balloons!”

They tip-toed back down to the basement, laughing and nudging each other as they went down the stairs.

They had hired a helium tank and proceeded to fill up dozens of different coloured balloons, tying them with a thin gold ribbons, which hung down to be grasped. They randomly filled balloons and then sucked the helium out of them, making their voices go impossibly high and sounding like chipmunks.

They were cracking each other up by singing and rapping chipmunk versions of various chart hits when Louis wandered down the stairs. He stood for a few minutes in silence, the boys unaware of his presence, and just watched them. He shook his head fondly and couldn’t keep the grin from his face at these two idiots as they rolled around laughing hysterically in their high pitched voices. His heart had swelled to double the size at Harry’s obvious excitement about the party. He stepped down, making his presence known.

“I see the maturity level in this room couldn’t be more appropriate for a five year old party!” he chuckled.

Harry jumped up, grinning and bouncing over to hug Louis.

“Lou-Bear!” he greeted in his strange altered voice. “Come and give us a kiss, eh?”

“You sound ridiculous, you adorable idiot!” he grinned, pulling him closer with his free hand and kissing his lips. “Need any help?”

The three of them sat to finish the remaining balloons. This was where Lottie found them half an hour later, all three boys full of helium and singing a hysterical version of What Makes You Beautiful.

 

XXXX

 

When they’d finished the balloons, they floated them all upstairs and let them loose all over the house and in the stairwell, creating a floating spectacle that the kids would have to make their way through when they woke up.

When Louis had walked past the lounge room earlier, he hadn’t noticed the piles of presents that were stacked up carefully. As they entered the room now, he stopped dead in the doorway, his mouth gaping open as he took in the sight of them.

“Oh. My. God. What did you do?” he asked Harry and Niall, wide-eyed.

Lottie immediately threw her hands up. “I wasn’t involved – just gave them an idea of the stuff the kids liked. They shopped on their own!”

Niall grinned and exclaimed proudly “we shopped the hell out of the Toys R Us! Those fuckers didn’t know what hit them!” He fist bumped Harry and he and Harry giggled.

Harry then added “we _may_ have been a little excited, but everything was just _so_ _cool_ Lou and I just kept seeing stuff they’d love and it just snowballed. You’re not mad are you?” He suddenly looked a little uncertain and his smile had faded a little and Louis just couldn’t be the cause of that, so he smiled back at Harry.

“Well, I think in future we need to talk about _limits_ , but, I guess I’m OK with spoiling my babies just this once.” Harry beamed back at him and he added “Thank you – both of you. I appreciate everything you’ve done.”

Harry and Niall grinned at each other gleefully.

“Oh you haven’t seen the half of it!” chuckled Niall. “It’s gonna be the craic!” He was jumping out of his skin with excitement and bouncing around like a three year old.

“Oh Geez” Louis moaned “what have I done leaving you two in charge? I’m almost afraid to ask!”

Niall slung an arm around his shoulder, carefully avoiding his collarbone area and said “yeah, it’s probably better if you don’t ask, really!”

 

XXXX

 

Anne, Fizzy, Daisy and Phoebe came downstairs, eyes wide and jaws open at the spectacle of the balloons and presents. Almost immediately, Ernie and Dot could be heard squealing with delight at the balloons floating everywhere as they bounded down the stairs. They quickly covered the giant mound of gifts with a sheet and all stood in front of it, trying to act casual.

As they burst into the room, everyone greeted them with a chorus of “Happy Birthday!” before they were engulfed in hugs and kisses. As they bounced around, they were oblivious to the covered mound, too busy laughing and hugging everybody, talking about being _five_ now. They reached Harry and Louis having saved the biggest cuddles for last. Both kids hugged Louis carefully, mindful of his injuries, then threw themselves at Harry. He lifted Dot into his arms and ruffled Ernie’s hair as he hugged his legs.

“Do you have a present for us?” Dot asked him.

Harry turned to Louis, smiling. “I don’t know. Louis? Do we have presents for these two?”

Louis pretended to think about it. “Mmmm, I knew there was something we forgot!” he looked apologetic. “Sorry guys.”

They both looked momentarily disappointed before Dot said “It’s OK Daddy – you were in the hostible. You couldn’t go shopping.”

“Yeah” Ernie agreed. “You got to come home and that was a _kind_ of like a present.”

Louis could not have been prouder at that moment and he grinned at Harry before turning to them both and saying “actually, I think I do remember us buying something. Now, where did we put it Haz, do you remember?”

“Why yes I do, Louis” Harry chuckled. “I think” said as he walked over and grabbed the sheet, pulling it back “that we left it under here!”

The looks on Ernie and Dot’s faces was comical and Lottie caught them on camera as they gaped at the giant pile of gifts, eyes bugging out of their heads.

“Oh my God!” Ernie exclaimed.   “Are those all for us?”

“Yep!” Harry replied and proceeded to give them out, the kids opening each one excitedly. When they were all done, Harry pulled out four additional gifts. He handed them to the twins and said in a stage whisper “now I think it’s only fair, when you got _so many_ presents, that Daisy, Pheebs, Fizzy and Lotts get one as well, don’t you think?”

The twins nodded and laughed as they handed them out. The girls were all delighted to be included and Louis smiled softly over at Harry, marvelling at how big-hearted he was. The girls were all cooing over their gifts – makeup for Fizzy, a beautiful coat for Lottie and matching bracelets for Daisy and Phoebe.

While everyone sat around and Ernie and Dot attacked the packaging on some of their presents, Harry and Anne headed for the kitchen, cooking up a full English breakfast for everybody. It was a loud and chaotic affair, but Louis thought it was perfect. Their house hadn’t felt this much like a home in forever.

 

XXXX

 

Niall, Lottie and Harry were being super secretive.

They wouldn’t let anybody out in the back yard, banning them from even peeking out the windows. So they were gathered in the lounge room, trying to keep the mess to a minimum as the twins opened (and proceeded to play with) all their new toys.

The guests were arriving at two o’clock, so they still had four hours to get the place straightened up. Louis was dying to see what the back yard looked like and what they had organised.

Outside, things were taking shape. Harry and Niall had set up three stations along the fence line on one side of the yard, each with a different activity, resembling carnival games. One was stacked cans you knocked down with a ball, one was shooting a basketball into a bucket with the bottom removed and the third was a ring toss. Next to that, Lottie had set up a craft table with an assortment of activities.

The small jumping castle was being erected in the corner by the two guys who had brought it. Even though it was the smallest one they had, it still filled an entire corner of the yard and it made Harry nervous that the last surprise wouldn’t have enough room. In the end it was fine, as the truck arrived and the lady from the petting zoo set up her animal pens, assuring them she had plenty of room to work with. She and her husband had brought with them an assortment of animals, as well as two ponies to give the kids short rides around the roped off area behind them.

A parents table had also been set up on the deck for any parents staying for the party, with refreshments and drinks.

Lastly, they put together the goody bags for the guests and Harry called Liam to remind him to pick up the two cakes on his way. They’d be late as they were coming after work, but the cakes weren’t needed till closer to the end anyway, so that was alright.

When everything was finally ready, it was nearly one o’clock and they raced inside to get dressed for the party.

Harry and Louis ooohed and aaaahed at the twins as they took some photos of them dressed in their party clothes.

“You both look so beautiful” Louis told them.

“You do” agreed Harry, snapping away on the camera. “I also think you look taller – I think you grew bigger last night!”

“Well we _are_ five now” Ernie agreed seriously “so we may have grown while we were sleeping and didn’t notice.” Dot nodded along thoughtfully and Harry thought he may expire from cuteness overload.

The others came and joined them and Harry snapped about a thousand shots of everyone together and Louis with all of the kids. Lottie also took the camera from him to take shots of him with the kids and with Louis. Anne also had photos with them and asked for copies for her walls at home.

When everyone had assembled, Harry ushered them outside to see what they’d done. There were plenty of gasps and exclamations as the group took in the back yard transformation and Ernie and Dot were beside themselves, running from each thing to the next.

Niall and Ernie were trying out all of the stations before they dived headlong into the jumping castle. Lottie snorted. “I don’t know who the bigger kid is with those two! Our biggest problem of the day will be keeping Niall out of there!” As if to prove her point, Niall let out a whoop, calling out “Harry! When the kids leave you have to get in here with me – it awesome mate!”

“You’re on Nialler!” laughed Harry.

Daisy and Phoebe quickly shed their shoes and followed Niall and Ernie into the castle, laughing delightedly as they were bounced all over the place by Niall.

“Daddy! There’s ponies in our backyard!” Dot squealed, racing over to pat the cute pair. The lady in charge offered her a ride and she grinned madly as she waved up at them from the back of a pretty white pony with a pink bow. “Look at me Daddy! Look at me Harry!” she called out.

Harry was madly snapping photos and grinning and Louis was basically mush. He was a big, gooey, ridiculous pile of mush as he watched Harry wave back at Dot, his joy evident by the huge smile on his face. He turned to face Louis and his eyes were alight, cheeks rosy and he just took Louis breath away.

“Do you see her Lou? She’s not even afraid!” he laughed.

“I see her babe” Louis smiled back at him and walked over to place a soft kiss on his lips. “Thank you H – this is amazing.”

“You really like it?” Harry replied, pleased to have Louis’ approval.

“Are you kidding?” Louis laughed, rolling his eyes. “How am I ever going to top this?”

“ _You_ don’t have to, because _we_ will make a great team for next year’s party. You’re not alone any more Lou” answered Harry softly.

Louis swallowed past the lump in his throat and reached up to place a hand on Harry’s cheek.

He was just leaning in to kiss him gently when a loud cry rang out and they looked across to see Niall flying through the air and landing onto the grass with a noticeable thud. He lay still for a moment before sitting up and shaking the grass out of his hair. He jumped up and raised his hands in the air shouting “it’s all good! I’m OK!” before letting out a battle cry and diving back into the castle, making Ernie, Daisy and Phoebe squeal and giggle.

Lottie watched him adoringly, shaking her head and giggling at his antics and Louis recognised the look on her face – it was the one on his when he looked at Harry. She was head over heels for Niall and Louis’ stomach did a little flip at that thought.

The guests arrived at two o’clock and everybody was in awe at the set up in the back yard. Daisy, Phoebe and Fizzy helped by manning the stalls and helping the kids with the activities and Niall and Lottie watched over the kids on the jumping castle.

Louis and Harry chatted to the parents, who were all very friendly. There had been a few of the mums from the group that gathered at the school gate and Louis laughed to himself as he watched Harry work the group, charming everybody. He was also attentive and affectionate with Louis, leaving nobody in any doubt of how he felt about him. It felt nice and Louis couldn’t help how proud he felt of his boy.

Anne also mingled with the parents. Most people seemed surprised that Harry’s mother was in attendance, but Anne smiled and told them that Louis had practically become her son-in-law back when they were at school, entertaining them with a few of the stories from that time, remembering how inseparable the boys had been. A blushing Harry had soon shut her down though, banning any further stories.

Harry raced around, snapping so many photos of the kids enjoying their party and delighting in their joy. His energy was boundless and he didn’t stop all day. Louis was dizzy just watching him.

Liam and Sophia arrived and the cakes were plated up and brought out, drawing a collective gasp from the crowd and a squeal of delight from both Ernie and Dot. Ernie’s cake was a Ninja Turtles Cake and Dot’s was a Frozen themed one. They were incredible – almost too gorgeous to cut.

When they’d sung Happy Birthday and it was time to blow out the candles, Ernie and Dot were whispering between themselves for a moment, before joining their pinkies and nodding. They closed their eyes, fingers still joined, and blew out their candles. When they opened their eyes to see all the candles out, they grinned at each other excitedly and hugged.

“What was that about?” asked Louis.

“No idea!” chuckled Harry as he snapped a handful more photos.

Louis snorted at him. “You realise you’ve taken a completely ridiculous amount of photos for a children’s birthday party, don’t you?”

Harry threw back his head and laughed. “No such thing as too many photos Lou! We’ll need something to look back on when they grow up and leave us you know!” He walked away to help Anne take the cakes inside to cut them up and Louis just stood there, staring after him.

He’d been harbouring some vague notions of him and Harry making a life together, but in that one moment, Harry’s casual observation that they’d be together when the kids were grown had made it real. He felt a smile start to curve his lips and it spread slowly until he was beaming stupidly. Niall walked up beside him and looked at him questioningly.

“What are you grinning like the village idiot for?” he snorted.

“Nothing” he replied, smiling “it’s just been a good day is all Nialler.”

“Of course it has! Never let it be said that Uncle Niall doesn’t know how to throw a party!”

 

XXXX

 

The clean-up took two hours, after which they were all tired and Liam and Sophia headed home.

Anne had already cooked a lasagne for dinner and it just had to be heated up, so she threw it in the oven on low and took Ernie and Dot upstairs for a bath. They were exhausted after the excitement of the day and went without a fuss.

Harry walked into the lounge room where everyone was sprawled across the lounges and floor. Louis looked up at him, eyebrows raised and he simply nodded to let him know everything was in place for their final activity for the day. Louis smiled and turned to get the girls’ attention.

“Girls? I thought it’d be nice if we duck down to the grave while the twins are having their bath and lay a wreath on each of the graves. What do you think?”

The girls all smiled and nodded and they all jumped into the minivan and drove down to the graveside. They didn’t have long until sunset and the gates would close, but it was just enough. Louis passed the wreaths to the girls and they placed them on the graves.

Daisy and Phoebe sat on the edge of their mother’s grave.

“I bet you loved watching the party from up there Mummy” said Phoebe, tears trickling down her face, but a small smile on her lips.

“Yeah” added Daisy. “Wish you were here, but I know you were watching.”

Fizzy walked up and placed a hand on each of the headstones. “We miss you guys” she said quietly, eyes watery.

Lottie simply leaned on Niall’s shoulder, his arm around her shoulder.

Afterward, they all headed back to the car, but Louis held back for a moment. He leaned close to his mother’s headstone, whispering “I know you sent him back to me – you always were one to meddle – so thank you.” He kissed his fingers and touched them to the grave, then walked over to the car and Harry wrapped his arms around him.

“Everything OK Lou?” he asked.

“Everything’s perfect” he answered.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay - the hostage situation here in Sydney was a distraction and events were so saddening. I just wasn't in the mood to write yesterday. My thoughts are with the families of those who died. Please keep them in your prayers :) x
> 
> To make up for it I wanted only nice thoughts, so:
> 
> Is this another chapter filled with fluff and smut - yes!  
> Do I apologise for that? Nope!
> 
> Shout out to Sassy_Boo_Bear who requested a trip to the zoo for H&L and Ernie and Dot. I loved the idea so much I had to incorporate it, so thank you lovely - hope I did it justice!  
> My usual disclaimer regarding the lack of proofing still applies!
> 
> Only a couple of chapters left now! Thanks for all the love, kudos and comments, they are so inspiring :) xxxxx

Louis smiled down at his phone.

Harry’s tweet had been so adorable and he couldn’t stop pulling the picture up just to look at it. It was a photo taken at the party of Harry, Ernie and Dot. Harry was crouching between them and they both had their arms wrapped around his neck from either side. All three of them were clearly laughing, the joy of the moment evident in their faces. Lottie had captured it at just the right instant and everything about it was flawless.

Harry had loved it too and had tweeted it the day after the party, with the caption:

**_@Harry_Styles:_ ** _Love my two little birthday munchkins!_

 

Louis’ heart flip flopped every time he looked at it – even six weeks later. Harry’s fans had eaten it up, retweeting the picture thousands of times and commenting on how adorable it was.

Anne had gone home the day after the party, the girls all shedding a tear over her departure. She’d told them she and Gemma would love to visit again soon and that she’d call them every week to check how they were doing. She’d also pulled Fizzy aside to speak with her and Louis had watched as she’d stroked Fizzy’s cheek and wiped away her leaking tears. She’d hugged her tightly and Louis had realised what a wonderful thing Anne’s presence had been for the kids. He himself had also loved having her fussing over him in such a motherly fashion, though he’d never admit it.

Just before she’d left, she’d told Louis “by the way, the babies told me what their wish was when they blew out their birthday candles.”

“Really?” Louis had smiled “what was it?” he asked curiously.

Anne’s face had softened as she replied “they wished that you and Harry would get married so he could be their Papa.”

Louis face had gone blank, shocked at Anne’s words. As he was still trying to process it, thoughts reeling and chest tight, Anne had patted him on the cheek and added “I have to say Lou, Grandma Anne has a nice ring to it, so don’t keep my boy waiting too long before you make an honest man out of him yeah?” With a wink, she had hopped in her car, driving off and leaving Louis shell shocked at the curb.

 

Harry and Niall had both stayed at the house for another twelve wonderful days before they’d had to leave again and Louis had loved every perfect moment of that time. For seven of those days, the kids had been on end of Semester break and he and Harry had spent time with them together before he’d had to leave, really feeling like a family. Anne’s words had taken root in his mind and wouldn’t leave him alone. He kept imagining what it would be like to marry Harry and for Ernie and Dot to call him Papa. The thought sent a warmth rushing through him and caused a little swoop in his stomach every time. It was obviously too early to be popping the question, but the whole idea was enchanting. There was nothing he’d love more than to marry Harry.

Before he’d left, Harry had bought a whiteboard planner and they put it up in the kitchen. He’d had marked the days he was away so the kids could clearly see when he was coming back to them. He’d not wanted them to be upset over his absences, or be left wondering when he was coming back and Louis had been so touched he’d thought of that. He was continually surprising Louis with how thoughtful he was, especially with regard to the kids.

He’d been in the US for three weeks now and Louis missed him desperately. Only three more weeks to go. He spoke to Harry every day and they were a really strong unit, growing stronger by the day. Harry also skyped with all the kids, asking about their lives and chatting to them about his.

Lottie and Niall were blowing up Skype and phones with their constant need to be talking to each other and Louis teased her mercilessly, even though he and Harry weren’t much better. They just keep telling each other that is wasn’t long now and their boys would be back.

 

XXXX

 

Harry tossed and turned in his hotel bed. He hadn’t been sleeping well on his own. He had grown used to at least one other body – sometimes three – in his bed.

He sighed and sat up, checking the clock. It was three am. He missed Louis and the kids so much, even though he loved what he was doing and wouldn’t change it for the world. It was such a mixed emotion.

Only three more weeks and he’d be home with Louis. He smiled as he thought about how excited Ernie and Dot would be and he couldn’t resist pulling out his laptop, flipping through all his photos for about the hundredth time since he’d left England. He grinned at the screen, at all the laughing faces captured there. When he reached his favourite photo, he stopped and just looked, drinking it in. It never failed to take his breath away. It was a photo of him and Louis.

They’d been at the park, the younger kids all running around, the day almost at an end. The sun had almost sunk behind the clouds, but a few rays were still streaking across the sky, keeping it from being dark. He and Louis had been lost in each other, cuddled up on a park bench, Louis sitting on his lap and they’d been talking. As Louis had reached up and brushed the curls off his forehead in the most simple and yet most intimate of gestures, Harry had smiled softly back at him. It was that exact moment that Lottie had captured on film and it spoke louder than a million words. Their love was so evident in the picture and Harry loved every inch of it.

He was still staring at the screen when there was a soft noise as his door opened and Zayn crept in.

“Can I stay in here?” Zayn asked “I can’t sleep. Got so used to Pez’s presence over the last few weeks and it’s been hard getting used to sleeping alone again.”

“I hear you brother” Harry sighed. “I’ve gotten used to all the extra body heat and I miss it now. Also, like, Dot twirls her fingers in my hair – that’s her thing when she’s going to sleep – and I kind of miss it you know?” he added wistfully.

Zayn grinned and shook his head. “That little princess has you wrapped around her finger mate.”

“Guilty as charged” Harry smiled softly.

Harry packed away his laptop and he and Zayn snuggled in together. They fell asleep almost immediately and had the best night’s sleep they’d had on the trip so far.

 

XXXX

 

The three weeks before Harry came home passed fairly quickly. Louis had kept himself on only light duties at the shop to allow himself to heal. His collarbone and ribs head healed well and the bruises and scratches were all but gone. He had a couple of small scars on his legs and torso, but all in all he’d been so lucky.

Thanks to his dating a celebrity, the café had increased in status, clientele and subsequently, profit. It seemed it was now _the_ place to be seen in Manchester.

They’d put on another girl to relieve for Sophia in the kitchen. Her name was Lexie and she already had the clientele eating out of her hands and Ashton and Stan waging a friendly war for her attention. Louis had taken a step back from work for the first time in four years and it was wonderful. He was able to spend more quality time with the kids and not work weekends anymore. Liam and Sophia were also able to work less hours. Lottie and Fizzy still worked casual hours when they were needed as well, so their team had grown significantly.

Louis had been keeping himself busy, but each day when Ernie and Dot crossed off the calendar, he found his excitement growing with theirs. When Harry texted him that they were back in London it was almost too much having to wait another twenty four hours until he had done a radio and TV interviews before he could head up to Manchester. It had been easier when he was halfway across the world. Knowing he was only four hours away made Louis want to dive in his car and track him down, just to feel his lips on Harry’s. Sex had been too hard while Louis was healing, so they’d been limited to hand jobs and the odd blow job before Harry had left and had then had to go six weeks without anything.

The day he was due in Manchester, Louis dropped the kids at school and raced back home. He showered and tidied the house - anything to stop him pacing restlessly.

When Harry pulled up in his car, he was barely out of the door when Louis launched himself at him. Harry was chuckling as he caught him, pressing him against the car and kissing him soundly, before pulling back, panting.

“Welcome home” Louis grinned at him, out of breath and giggling as he was held against the car, his legs wrapped around Harry’s waist.

Harry grinned back at him. “Now this is a proper welcome” he replied. “How about we take this little welcome party inside though?” He leaned closer and murmured next to Louis’ ear “want to get your clothes off as soon as possible.”

Louis did not need to be told twice. He pushed Harry back and slid his legs down, racing for the front door and dragging Harry behind him.

“What about my bags?” Harry asked, laughing.

“Leave them!” Louis ordered. “Lock the car and we’ll get them later.”

Harry couldn’t find any fault with that plan – in fact he was totally on board with it. He followed Louis into the house, where they wasted no time in stripping off, leaving a trail of clothes behind them as they headed upstairs to the bedroom.

“God Lou” panted Harry between kisses as they fumbled up the stairs “I’ve missed you so much! Need you inside me so bad baby.”

Louis moaned, which then turned into a growl, all his need conveyed in that one filthy sound. He dragged Harry behind him into the bedroom and pushed him down onto the bed, tumbling after him. Their kisses were open mouthed and impatient, their hands everywhere all at once.

When Louis started sucking a mark on Harry’s neck and fondling him lightly, Harry grew impatient, lifting his hips and gasping out “forget the foreplay Lou, just get on with it! _Fuck_!”

Louis snorted and replied “so impatient H! Maybe I should just tease you for a while.”

Harry’s eyes turned dark and stormy and he grabbed Louis’ face in his hands. “Now is not the time for your humour Lou” he panted “I fucking need you in me now or I’m going to explode so get to work!”

Louis looked down at his blown pupils, slack mouth and rosy cheeks and he suddenly felt all of Harry’s need, all of the same impatience. “Point taken” he breathed, reaching beside the bed for the lube.

He slicked up his fingers, as well Harry’s throbbing length and started stroking him slowly as he inserted his first finger. Harry exhaled and it sounded almost like relief as he moaned out a soft, barely audible “yeeeessss.”

Louis added a second finger and maintained the slow stroking of Harry’s shaft, Harry soon writhing in the sheets and gripping them with his fingers. He quickly begged for more and Louis inserted the third finger and stopped stroking him, concentrating on opening him up fully. He brushed his fingers over Harry’s prostate every second or third thrust and Harry was groaning loudly and became more and more disjointed, raising his hips of the bed and begging for Louis to hurry up and get inside him.

Louis quickly slicked himself up and placing his hands on either side of Harry’s face, holding his body weight, he slid in, slowly thrusting till he was fully encased in Harry’s tight heat. His breath hitched as he bottomed out and he had to take a moment or he knew he’d not last more than two or three thrusts. He stilled, panting as he looked down at his boy. He felt such a rush of emotion hit him that he had to close his eyes momentarily with the force of it.

As he opened them and looked back down, Harry reached up and touched his fingertips to Louis’ lips.

“I love you Lou” he breathed out, his voice wobbling with emotion.

“I love you too curly” he replied, unsteady, before he started moving slowly, building his rhythm and then they were both lost to all else but the feeling of their bodies fitting together perfectly.

Louis tilted his hips and knew he’d gotten the right angle when Harry cried out, pleasure washing over his features as the sensation shot through him. Louis maintained the angle, but not his rhythm, as his climax built. His thrusts became frantic as he chased his orgasm. He slammed into Harry and Harry urged him on, his moaning becoming frenzied and babbling Louis’ name. Harry then reached his hand down and wrapped it around his own throbbing cock, the single touch all it took to have his body stiffening and him spilling onto his stomach with a hoarse cry.

A handful of wild thrusts later and Louis was letting out a loud shout as he followed, his climax causing his body to shudder as it shook him to the core. Wave after wave of pleasure spread through his nerve endings and he collapsed onto Harry.

Harry’s arms came up around him and they lay there breathing heavily for several moments before Harry broke the silence.

“It’s good to be home” he whispered.

Louis let out a huff of laughter, followed by a delirious giggle. When Harry giggled in return, they both dissolved into hysterical laughter until the tears rolled down their faces and Harry had to push Louis’ off him because he couldn’t breathe.

They lay naked and entwined for the next two hours, just relishing the chance to be wrapped around each other again and chatting about everything and nothing.

Louis had never been happier.

 

XXXX

 

When Ernie and Dot came racing out of the school gate, it was screaming Harry’s name and hurling themselves at him, squealing with excitement. He scooped them both up laughing as he struggled to keep them steady. There were a few discreet paps, knowing Harry would have returned, but nothing intrusive, which pleased Harry and Louis both.

“Whoah!” he bellowed. “Hi babies! I’ve missed you!” he giggled as he hugged them tightly.

“We missed you too!” exclaimed Ernie “soooooo much!”

“Yeah, we been smiling all day today” added Dot.

“You have?” asked Harry, trying to keep the grin off his face and failing miserably. “What have you been smiling about?”

“You, silly!” replied Ernie.

“You!” Dot cried out at the same time, then added “you were coming home to us today!”

“That’s right” Harry said fondly. “I’ll always come home to you princess.”

Daisy and Phoebe came bounding up then, hugging Harry and welcoming him home. The parents and kids at the school had become quite used to Harry’s presence at the school now, so he didn’t get mobbed anymore, but plenty of kids came running up to high five him, or just simply say “hi” and he took the time to make each one feel special.

They drove home and the kids monopolised Harry for the remainder of the afternoon, but Louis failed to mind at all, loving having the chance to watch Harry interact with them. They kicked the football around the back yard and even Fizzy joined in, all of them breathless and laughing by the time they’d finished.

When Lottie arrived home from Uni, Louis called everybody in for dinner and they sat around the table, Harry demanding to know everything that had happened in his absence and smiling as the kids all started talking at once. He listened intently to everyone and was currently showing a ridiculous level of interest as Phoebe and Daisy discussed the question of whether their maths teacher, Mr Thomas wore a toupee or not.

Louis watched on, grinning like an idiot at how stupidly in love with this boy he was.

 

XXXX

 

The next afternoon, Niall arrived, having stayed on an extra day in London as his brother had been visiting him. He and Lottie were sickeningly besotted with each other and Louis was pleased they had seemed to survive the separation unscathed.

On the Thursday morning of that week, Harry and Louis were lying in bed, having had a sleep in with Lottie and Niall doing the school run before going on an ice skating date.

“Lou?” Harry broke the silence, continuing to trail his hand up and down Louis’ chest.

“Mhm?” asked Louis sleepily, not bothering to open his eyes.

“Do you really not work weekends anymore?”

“Yep.”

“So that means I can make some plans for this weekend?”

Louis cracked one eye open. “What kind of plans?” he asked.

“Well, when you were in the hospital and Ernie and Dot were drawing you pictures every day, there was one where they drew the four of us at the zoo.” He paused before spitting the rest of the words out in a jumbled rush. “That got me thinking – we should take them to the zoo, and then I started thinking that, like, London Zoo is _so_ great and they’d love it, right? And you’ve never been to my flat in London and I’d love to show it to you – like London, not my flat, you know what I mean. Niall and Lottie said they’re fine to watch the other three this weekend, so what do you say?”

Louis had been watching Harry blurt all of that out with an amused look on his face. “So you’re inviting us to your place for a weekend in London, huh?”

“Yes?” answered Harry hopefully.

Louis beamed. “I think I’d love that H – the kids will be beside themselves too!”

Harry pumped his fist. “Yes! I can’t wait Lou! It’s gonna be so awesome! Leave all the planning to me!” he replied excitedly.

Louis just shook his head fondly at the child trapped in a man’s body and pulled him down for a leisurely kiss.

When Harry’s incredible mouth worked its way down his body to take his aching length, Louis forgot everything, including how to breathe.

 

XXXX

 

They both breathed a sigh of relief as the twins drifted off to sleep. They had chattered excitedly and non-stop for the past two hours, asking Harry a million questions about London and it had driven he and Louis almost insane.

Louis felt a bit guilty that in the last four years they hadn’t been to London once. There’d been no reason to and it was such a mammoth task when they went anywhere as a family. He had also worked so much that trips anywhere had been off the table, just getting through each day or week being his main focus.

He was excited for Ernie and Dot. This was their first big adventure outside of Manchester and they were crazy excited. He was also excited for himself. This was the first real down time and break away he’d had in four years.

He and Harry chatted quietly for the remaining two hours of the trip and before they knew it they were pulling up outside Harry’s building, waiting for the gates to open and driving inside. Louis’ eyes widened as he took in the surrounding Primrose Hill neighbourhood and the impressive building Harry lived in.

“It’s a wonder you want to come to Manchester at all when you have this place!” Louis laughed.

Harry simply smiled at him. “Well, Manchester has something this place doesn’t – all of you. It’s just a house Louis, what I have at your place is a home.”

Louis looked away and swallowed past the lump forming in his throat while Harry parked the car. They woke the kids, who smiled sleepily and climbed out of the car. They carried their bags past the front concierge desk, where a short, rotund, older gentleman called Max was sitting. He looked like Santa without the beard, his grey hair springing out the sides of his cap. He grinned as he saw Harry and his guests.

“Good afternoon Max” Harry greeted him with a smile.

“Hello Harry” replied Max, returning his smile. “And who are these two little angels then?” he said, making his way out from behind the desk.

“Max, this is my boyfriend Louis and his two kids, Ernie and Doris.”

Max shook all of their hands warmly. “It’s a pleasure meeting you all!”

They chatted for a few moments before making their way up in the lift to the third and top floor. When the lift opened, it was to a floor with only one door on it.

“Are you the only one on this floor?” asked Louis.

“Yeah” Harry replied. “It’s great for privacy, that’s why I leased it from Syco. It’s a bit big for just one person, but the location is terrific.”

He opened the door and let Ernie and Dot go in ahead of them. They ran all around, taking it in and exclaiming over how impressive it was. Louis followed behind, his jaw dropping as he took in the extravagant furnishings and plush fittings.

“Wow!” he blurted out.

Harry snorted. “None of it’s mine you know? The label owns it all. It’s just my stuff in the kitchen and my clothes in the bedroom and a few things from home. It’s not really me and I still don’t feel entirely at home here, but it’s comfortable and it has a kitchen to die for, so…”

Louis walked into the kitchen and let out a long whistle. “It sure does! God, you could fit three of my kitchen in here!”

The twins ran in grabbing Louis’ arm. “Daddy” exclaimed Ernie “come and see Harry’s room – the bed is enormous! We can _all_ fit in there!”

“Oh great!” replied Louis dryly “and here I was thinking I’d get Harry all to myself and you two would sleep in the spare room!” The twins giggled as they led him into the room and jumped up onto the bed, making snow angels on top of the mattress. Harry did not help calm things down when he joined them, making his own snow angels. Louis then figured there was no point in being the only one left out, so he dived on top of Harry, landing with an “oomph” and making the twins giggle.

The bathroom contained a giant spa bath, so the twins promptly stripped off and demanded a bubble bath with the jets on. As they played in the bubbling water, Louis put their bags in the spare room and kept an ear out for them as he laid out their pyjamas. They were laughing and squealing and Louis couldn’t help but smile at the sound.

Harry meanwhile rustled up dinner in the kitchen. He’d had his housekeeper Lydia stock the fridge and she’d left him a lasagne with a note saying “Enjoy – and have a great weekend Harry, Love Lydia xx!”

He threw it in the oven and whipped up a salad to go with it. He grabbed a bottle of wine and turned on the fireplace to warm things up as the night fell.

He spread a blanket on the carpet in front of the fireplace and an ice bucket in one corner with the bottle of wine and two bottles of soft drink for the twins in it.

 

After Louis had chased them out of the bath and dressed them in their pyjamas, they made their way to the lounge room, where they exclaimed excitedly.

“A picnic!” squealed Dot, running over and sitting down on the blanket, Ernie hot on her heels. Harry came waltzing out carrying their dinner plates.

“Hope you’re hungry!” he said in a sing-song voice.

“Starving!” replied Ernie.

Louis snorted. “You’re always starving!” he tousled Ernie’s hair playfully, making him giggle.

Harry laid down the tray, passing out the plates of lasagne and salad. He sat down and Louis poured the wine and handed the kids their bottle of soft drink each. When they all had a drink, Harry raised his in a toast. “Here’s to a fun weekend!” he cheered and they all clicked their drinks together, laughing as Louis’ wine slopped a little over the side of his glass.

When they’d finished dinner, the twins were watching TV, their eyelids drooping even though it was relatively early. Harry and Louis shooed them off to bed, Harry telling them they had to be up early for their zoo visit.

“We’re getting a VIP tour before the zoo opens to the public, so we have to be up really early.”

Louis helped him clean the kitchen and they fell into bed early too - but not necessarily because they were tired.

 

XXXX

It was still dark and they were bundled up in coats, beanies, scarves and gloves as they made their way in the taxi to the zoo entrance at six o’clock. Ernie and Dot were jumping out of their skin with excitement and Harry was just as bad, practically vibrating with it. Louis found it was contagious and he was feeling the anticipation as well.

They were met by a young zookeeper called Sam, who was upbeat and cheerful and greeted them all, ushering them inside the zoo.

“Welcome to London Zoo!” he chirped. “Now, we’ve got some morning feeds that we need help with. Do you know anyone who’d like to volunteer to be assistant zoo keepers for the morning?”

Ernie and Dot raised their hands excitedly, and Louis chuckled as Harry joined them, calling out “Me too!” His boy really was outrageously adorable!

They were loaded into a golf car that was painted with Zebra stripes and made their way to the first enclosure, which was giraffes. They were given carrots to hold out and the giraffes took them straight out of their hands by wrapping their long blue tongues around them, making the twins squeal with delight.

Harry was madly taking pictures of the three of them, moving from side to side as he snapped from every angle. When it was his turn to feed the giraffe, Louis took the camera and smiled as he looked through the lens and saw Harry grinning with delight.

They then went to the Gorilla enclosure and stood at the fence, throwing fruit and vegetables, the gorillas coming close to pick them up.

“Hey kids” said Harry “What does a Gorilla learn first in school?”

“Um….I don’t know” replied Ernie.

“Me either” added Dot.

“The Ape-y-cees!” Harry answered, giggling loudly at his own joke.

Ernie and Dot dissolved into giggles and Louis rolled his eyes fondly. When Sam laughed along, Louis said dryly “don’t laugh – it’ll encourage him.”

From there they proceeded to the crocodiles, who were fed pieces of chicken and meat by Sam while they watched, gasping at the snapping jaws and how high they jumped.

“They’re scary!” exclaimed Dot.

“No they’re not!” Ernie replied.

“Are too!” argued Dot.

“Hey Guys” Harry grinned, distracting them both from their argument. “What do you call a crocodile with GPS?”

Louis groaned as Ernie and Dot shrugged.

“A Navi-gator. Get it?” Harry snorted as he laughed at his own joke again and Louis put his head in his hands.

“Oh Haz, that’s dreadful!”

“I don’t get it, but you’re still funny Harry!” laughed Dot.

“No he’s not” Louis deadpanned.

Harry swooped in and kissed him on the lips. “You think I’m hilarious Lou, don’t deny it!”

Louis bit his cheek to keep the grin from his face. “I admit nothing!” he replied.

They toured around for the next three hours, looking at some of the animals then, the twins’ exclaiming and pointing as they saw each new animal. Sam told them various fun facts and explained things of interest. He also answered all of their questions patiently.

They saw so many different animals, including elephants, cheetahs and bears, with Harry’s jokes getting worse as the morning wore on.

_“How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed? Your nose is touching the ceiling.”_

_“What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!”_

_“What snakes are good at doing sums? Adders!”_

 

They were able to pat a kangaroo and a flying fox, as well as hold a rabbit, which was Dot’s favourite. When they came to the reptile house, Sam brought out a large python, wrapping it around him and holding it out for the kids to touch.

“Sick!” cried Ernie, reaching out a hand and running it over the snake’s smooth skin.

Dot curled into Harry’s side, afraid to touch it, so Harry crouched down beside her.

“How about if I reach out and touch the snake, and you can just put your hand on my hand first. Then if that feels ok, you can just touch a finger out to see what it feels like. I’ll keep my hand there the whole time, I promise.”

Dot nodded silently and when Harry reached out, she slid her hand on top of hers. He kept talking softly, soothing her nerves and she eventually reached a finger across his hand to touch the snake’s skin. She quickly pulled it back, but went in to have another go pretty quickly. She was soon stroking the snake, smiling widely and Louis was snapping pictures of them all.

“Look Daddy! I’m touching it!” she called out proudly.

“I can see that baby girl! You’re so brave!” Louis replied.

They finished their private tour with the lions and tigers and they were able to see them at their most active. They ooohed and aaaahed as they watched the majestic animals stalk around the enclosures and Louis loved seeing his children so engaged.

When Sam told a joke about Lions and got a laugh out of both the kids and Louis, Harry tried unsuccessfully not to pout and Louis kissed him, eyes dancing with amusement.

“You’re still our favourite joke teller H” he whispered, Harry’s face clearing as his arms came around Louis’ waist and a tiny smile forming on his lips. “You giant baby” Louis added, chuckling.

Afterward, they headed to the restaurant, where tea, juice and pastries were waiting for them. They tucked in, hungry after all their adventures. They thanked Sam for the tour and as the zoo opened to the public at ten o’clock, they slipped out and into a waiting taxi.

Harry then took them to the London Eye, where he’d organised a private pod and they marvelled at the view of London as they circled around. They also visited Hamley’s Toy Store, the seven floor children’s heaven with toys, games, art and crafts and magic tricks.

There was a magician demonstrating some tricks and they were all enthralled at the illusions. Harry immediately bought the magic kit and they headed home, where Louis took a long bath while Harry and the kids practiced some tricks. When Louis got out, Harry poured him a glass of wine and he sat on the lounge while they put on a magic show. They hadn’t quite mastered it yet, but Louis enjoyed every minute of it – applauding loudly and calling for an encore.

They were all exhausted and fell into bed early, kids in the spare room. As they lay together, naked bodies entwined, sleepy and sated after trading blow jobs, Louis rolled to the side and looked up at Harry.

“Thank you for today. The kids loved every minute of it and so did I. You’ve bought so much joy to our lives Haz. I’m so glad we found each other again.”

Harry kissed him softly and brushed his fringe back from his eyes as he answered “me too Lou. You guys have filled my life with so much happiness. I love you so much.”

“And I love you Harry” he murmured “so very much.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This chapter was written around my xmas shopping and wrapping, so as usual, please forgive any typing or grammar errors.
> 
> They get their matching tattoos this chapter - YAY!
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has been sending me love via the comments - you're all so lovely and I feel so lucky to get to chat with you!! :) xx

The day after the zoo was rainy and grey and they’d decided to stay in. Perrie and Zayn were coming to visit and also to watch Ernie and Dot while Harry and Louis went to get their first matching tattoos.

They’d decided on the ship and the compass and were both excited. They’d chosen the place on their bodies where they were going to be inked and Harry kept reaching for the spot on Louis’ arm, rubbing it absentmindedly with his thumb. Louis wasn’t sure if he was consciously doing it, or didn’t even realise.

Getting these tattoos felt so significant - a promise, and an acknowledgement that this was forever for both of them. They were permanently marking themselves as belonging together. Louis couldn’t wait. He had no moment of unease, no doubts. Everything about it felt right.

He knew Harry felt the same way. That this was a declaration of their intent to be together always. A perfect metaphor for their relationship, with Harry constantly travelling and touring and Louis always drawing him back home every time.

When they’d woken up in the early hours of the morning, without a word Harry had stroked Louis’ arm and placed a kiss on the spot marked out for the tattoo, just the hint of a soft smile curving his lips. They’d made love slowly and tenderly, saying with their bodies what they couldn’t put into words.  

There was shift between them after that. Like this decision had anchored them, binding them more completely to each other. They orbited each other even more than usual during the morning, almost unable to function out of each other’s space.

Perrie and Zayn arrived about ten in the morning, bearing belated birthday gifts for the twins.

“Zayn! Perrie!” squealed Ernie and Dot as they helped Harry open the door and let them inside.

“Hello loves!” cooed Perrie, scooping them into a hug.

Zayn grinned, heart melting as he watched her with the kids. He greeted them, asking “do you know who had a birthday recently? I think I have some presents here?”

“Me!” shouted Ernie, putting his hands up.

“Me to!” added Dot.

“Oh well they must be for you then!” Zayn chuckled. “Come into the lounge room and I’ll give them to you.”

The kids charged to the lounge room, almost knocking Louis over as he made his way to the door to greet Zayn and Perrie.

“Slow down you two!” he called out, shaking his head but smiling fondly and greeting Zayn and Perrie with a hug.

The twins were thrilled with their art kits that Zayn and Perrie had given them, complete with an easel, pastels, paints and pencils. They wanted to open them straight away, so Harry put a drop sheet in the tiled dining area and set them up, while Louis chatted with Zayn and Perrie, entertaining them with tales of how sickening Lottie and Niall were these days.

“He’s pretty smitten with her” Zayn commented. “He talks about her all the time when we’re away.”

“She’s pretty gone for him too” Louis smiled. “I guess I approve as much as a big brother slash parent can.”

 

XXXX

 

Zayn was curiously watching the boys throughout the morning and had immediately noticed the added intensity to their interaction. Even Perrie had surreptitiously raised her eyebrows at him a couple of times.

He was helping Harry prepare lunch later in the kitchen, while the twins happily created another masterpiece and Perrie and Louis chatted. Harry was preparing food and opening wine but his focus was the lounge room, where Louis and Perrie were.

All morning his body had revolved physically around Louis’, his eyes never leaving his boy for long before they were drawn back. Louis was no better, constantly needing to be touching Harry in some way or another. Zayn had wondered several times if they realised they were behaving even more like magnets than usual.

“What’s up with you two?” asked Zayn curiously, narrowing his eyes at Harry. “Something’s different.”

“What do you mean?” replied Harry, frowning in confusion.

“I mean, there’s like this weird vibe you’re both giving off, and you’re all handsy and grabby and you’re even more ridiculous than normal. What’s the story?”

Harry shrugged. “No story.” He sighed, not sure if he could put it into words adequately and finding himself stumbling over the explanation, not very articulate. “Well, I guess things _are_ different, I don’t know. I don’t even know how to explain it Zayn. Just, like, we’re so _aware_ of each other, of what we have. I mean I always knew what we had was special, but it’s like we’ve taken it to another level and it’s so intense, you know what I mean?”

Zayn snorted at him “not really mate, no. You and Louis have always been different to the rest of us.” He smiled as he added “never met two people more meant to be together Harry.”

Harry smiled. “I guess that’s kind of what I was trying to say, just not very well!”

They giggled and headed back out to the lounge room, calling everyone to the table for lunch.

After lunch it was time to head out and get the tattoos.

 

XXXX

 

They had emailed the designs earlier, allowing time for sketches to be done and everything was ready to go. They were buzzing with the excitement, the moment feeling monumental. They couldn’t stop grinning, even as they held hands through both of their procedures, each gritting their teeth against the sting of the needle.

When they were finished, they inspected each other with wonder, smiling and exclaiming over the new ink. They felt tied to the other in a way they’d never done before and it felt incredible. They thanked the tattoo artist, Tony and headed home, giggling with delight.

When they arrived home, arms clad in cling wrap, Zayn pounced on them, inspecting the designs and praising the amazing work Tony had done.

“These are sick!” he exclaimed.

“Did you get another drawing on your arm Daddy?” asked Ernie. “What is it?”

“It’s a compass little E” Louis explained. “Harry got a ship and I got a compass.”

“So you’re matching!” Dot grinned, obviously pleased with that.

Harry chuckled “Yeah princess, we’re matching. I’m the ship and when I have to go away on tour, Daddy’s the compass the guides me back home. I’ll always come home to him – and to you.”

“I like that!” Dot told him.

“Yeah me too!” added Ernie. “These are so cool! I can’t wait till I can get one! I’m gonna get a Ninja Turtle, or ones like Zayn’s!”

Louis groaned. “Oh God!”

Harry, Zayn and Phoebe just giggled.

Zayn and Perrie then bid them farewell and they headed home to Manchester.

When they got back that night, the whole family inspected the tattoos, giving them a resounding nod of approval.

“They look really awesome!” Niall said, big smile on his face.

“What a great idea for matching tattoos” said Fizzy, looking closely at them.

“Yeah, it’s pretty romantic too!” added Phoebe, putting her hand over her heart and pretending to swoon, sending them all into giggles.

“They must be in looove!” teased Daisy.

“Isn’t it past your bedtime or something?” answered Louis dryly.

 

XXXX

 

**_Twelve weeks later….._ **

Daily Mail Article:

**_ ONE DIRECTION’S NEW SINGLE HAS GONE NUMBER ONE IN 97 COUNTRIES! _ **

_With another monster hit on their hands, it seems the world can’t get enough of boyband One Direction. Their single “Kiss You” has skyrocketed to the top of the charts in ninety seven countries. A spokesperson for the band told us that the boys are both thrilled and humbled at the news. With their tour of America beginning in less than two weeks, the fans are counting down the days till the boys hit US soil. They’ve been busy rehearsing at an undisclosed location in the UK and say they’ve been working hard to ensure the show will not disappoint._

_The US leg of their tour is nineteen weeks. That’s almost six months of sold out shows back to back for the majority of those days. The boys have set themselves a mammoth task – that schedule would be gruelling for anybody and they will be recording their new album while on the road._

_One has to wonder how heart throb Harry Styles will cope with the lengthy separation from his partner Louis Tomlinson. Only time will tell if the romance we are all in love with can go the distance!_

 

XXXX

 

Sixteen weeks.

It had been sixteen weeks he was away from home.

Sixteen weeks away from Louis and the kids.

Sixteen weeks of no sex.

He was tired, he was irritable and he was homesick. Anne had called that morning and he’d been snappy with her, apologising quickly and moaning to her about how much he missed his family.

“They’ll have forgotten who I am by the time I get back! It’s been nearly four months since I’ve been home, Mum! I miss them so much!”

“I know sweetheart – they miss you too. I was over there on the weekend and they’re holding up pretty well, but Dot had a few tears. They both have your picture beside their bed and she kisses hers goodnight – it’s so adorable Harry.”

He knows she told him that to make him happy, but Harry couldn’t help the tears that welled up and slid down his cheeks at her words.

“Harry?” Anne asked “are you still there?”

He sniffed and replied “Mhm” in a choked voice.

“Oh darling, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry!”

He took a deep breath, steadying himself. “It’s OK, I’m glad you told me. It’s just a long time to be without them and I still have another three weeks to go!”

Anne was quiet for a minute before she answered. “I know Lou is struggling too baby. He tries to put on a brave face, but I know he misses you terribly.”

Harry let out a miserable sob.

“Listen” said Anne “I know the schedule hasn’t really allowed any time for visits, but what about New York? You have three shows there – do you have any time off? If you do, you should get online and get Louis a plane ticket and I’ll go over to Manchester and watch the kids while Louis comes to visit you.”

Harry’s head shot up. “We only have one day free – but the three nights are free after the concerts! It wouldn’t be much, but God Mum, I need to see him! Do you think Ernie and Dot could come too?”

“No Harry, it’s too far for them to come for just a couple of days and the late nights would be too much. It’s better if they stay here and don’t miss school.”

Harry felt a pang of disappointment, but his heart was hammering away as he hung up from Anne, promising to call back when he’d made the necessary arrangements with Paul.

Four days.

Four days and he’d have Louis in his arms.

 

XXXX

 

There had been no time to do anything but pack and go. Louis had felt so disorganised, but Anne assured him she’d handle whatever came up and tossed him out of the car at Manchester airport with a grin. He chuckled and waved her off, heading for the check in, his body pulsating with the anticipation of seeing Harry.

He didn’t relax during the flight, leg bouncing and hands tapping the tray table as he counted the hours, which dragged by slowly enough to make him almost lose his shit on more than one occasion. When the plane finally landed, he jumped out of his seat, grabbing his bag and waiting at the exit like a claustrophobic about to have a panic attack.

“Excuse me Mr. Tomlinson?” the flight attendant said.

“Yes?”

“Well, sir, we’re still taxiing in, the plane hasn’t actually stopped yet. I’m going to need you to take your seat until the plane comes to a stop.”

He blushed. “Oh. Sorry.”

She smiled kindly and said with a wink “I realise you’re probably anxious to get off the plane to see a certain pop star. I’ll smuggle you off as soon as the doors open, alright?”

He grinned at her. “Thanks. It’s just, you know, I’ve missed him.”

She beamed back at him, saying “You two are so freaking adorable!” before striding back to the door area.

Louis still wasn’t used to people recognising him. It was still a weird sensation to have total strangers know about his love life.

 

XXXX

 

He was collected from the airport by Alberto, as it was deemed too much of a security nightmare for Harry to come himself. Alberto chatted amiably all the way to the hotel, but Louis could barely hear it over the roar of _HarryHarryHarry_ pumping through his blood. After what seemed like an eternity, but was more realistically about twenty minutes, Louis arrived at the hotel. It was early morning and Alberto had told him that Harry would most likely still be asleep as they’d only arrived late last night.

When the lift opened on their floor, however, Harry was pacing in the hallway outside the lift. As Louis stepped out, he dropped his bag and ran at Harry, who caught him, laughing and immediately taking his mouth in a searing kiss. He clumsily staggered to the wall, slamming Louis up against it and deepening the kiss. Louis wrapped his legs around Harry’s waist and whimpered.

Both were almost too caught up in the moment to remember that Alberto was standing just outside the lift, Louis’ suitcase in his hand, trying to look anywhere but at the two of them and trying desperately to hide his smile. He cleared his throat and the boys looked over at him, grinning as they realised what a sight they must have made.

Alberto shook his head and chuckled. “Well, thank God you don’t have any commitments today, because I don’t believe anyone would’ve been able to get you out of that room until it’s time to head to MSG!”

They giggled as Harry let Louis down and they grabbed their bags, bidding Alberto goodbye and heading for Harry’s room. As soon as they were inside, they laughed as they shed their clothes quickly, coming together immediately in a mash of tongues, teeth and limbs. There was nothing calm or measured about their actions, their impatience and desperation after so long apart bringing them undone. It was messy and heated and loud.

When Harry gasped out that he’d already opened himself up, slick and ready for Louis’ arrival, Louis let out a raspy groan, rolling onto him and sliding inside him in one smooth motion, both letting out a loud gasp and Harry moaning loudly. His arms slid around to grasp Louis’ arse, pushing him closer.

Louis wasted no time being gentle and neither lasted very long once he started moving, his thrusts growing more wild and both boys lost to the pleasure. When their climax came, it was within seconds of each other and they both let out a strangled shout as they came, their bodies shaking and trembling with the force of it.

Neither spoke for a long time, both boys just lying in each other’s arms, hands softly running along the other’s skin, leaving a trail of goose bumps.

When Harry finally spoke, his voice was hoarse. “I missed you so fucking much Louis. Let’s _never_ go this long apart again.”

“Never, ever. It was too hard Haz.” Louis replied softly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi, so this is the second last chapter :(
> 
> Hope you like it!
> 
> As usual proofing was non-existent - you know the drill!

“I feel like, this being my first trip to America, I should have done more than just had copious amounts of sex.” Louis mused as they lay in bed the last night – or technically early morning - of his stay, blissfully sated and drowsy. “I’m not complaining, but like, I feel like I should have at least went up the Empire State Building or _something_ ” he teased.

Harry rolled over, pinning him down on the bed with his body. “You’re making me feel like the worst boyfriend on the planet right now babe!” he protested, smiling down at Louis, who was grinning back up at him. “Now I feel like I should be apologising for giving you so many orgasms or something” he pouted. “I just missed you so much Lou and I wanted you all to myself.”

Louis slid his arms around Harry’s neck. “Settle down curly – I’m just teasing! There’s nowhere I’d rather be than right here with you. It’s been amazing having this time with you – having you all to myself for a change! That’s actually the first time I’ve seen you live and you were incredible Harry!”

Harry leaned down, placing his forehead softly on Louis’. “I can’t believe you’re leaving again this afternoon” he said sadly, rolling off him and looking up at the ceiling with a sigh. “You know, sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it – if being separated from you and the kids is too high a price to pay for this dream, you know? Sometimes I think it’d be easier if I just came back and worked the café with you and we could be together all the time. You know you guys mean more to me than all this, right?”

“Oh Haz” replied Louis, reaching his hand down and linking their fingers together “of course I do. I also know that you love what you do. You were made to do this H – when I saw you up there on that stage, I realised just how incredible you are at what you do. Doing this lights you up inside – you glow with it when you’re up there. There may be some things about it that are hard – but that’s the same with everything worth doing. Instead of thinking you have to choose, you should think about ways to make the hard things easier.”

“What do you mean?” asked Harry.

“Well, I mean, being separated is really fucking hard, so we maybe need to look at ways we can make it a bit better. Maybe in future you could ask for more break days and the kids and I could fly out to see you, or you could duck home for a visit, or something? That way, the length of time away isn’t as long. If we’re determined enough to make it work, we’ll manage it somehow. No relationship is perfect Haz, but we can work around it if we get creative enough. I’m so proud of you, of what you’re achieving and I want you to be able to do this without worrying about us.”

Harry looked at him quietly before saying “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m so grateful to have found you again, to have you in my life.”

Lou grinned. “Then get over here and show me _how_ grateful love.”

 

XXXX

 

When Louis woke again it was to find the bed empty. He looked over at the clock. Seven in the morning?! He called out to Harry and got no reply.

 _That’s odd_ , he thought, _he didn’t mention any morning commitments_. He internally shrugged and rolled over, slipping back to sleep easily.

When he woke again, it was because Harry was shaking him gently awake at eight o’clock with a hot cup of steaming tea and a wide grin.

“Rise and shine Lou-bear” he whispered.

“Whaa?” Louis slurred, still groggy and wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep.

Harry smiled fondly down at him, protesting heavily at being woken up. He handed him the tea. “Drink. I need you to wakey wakey now – we’re going out.”

Louis grumbled, but took the tea anyway, sipping it with a sigh of pleasure. Harry was the only person who could make his tea just right.

“So where are we going?” Louis asked.

“Nope” Harry shook his head “not telling you – it’s a surprise!”

Louis frowned back at him. “What are you up to Haz?” he asked suspiciously.

Harry just grinned. “Just wear something warm – New York in late October is cold!”

 

XXX

 

When the car pulled up outside the Empire State Building Louis gasped and turned to Harry, a huge smile curving it’s way across his features. He threw his head back, laughing gleefully.

“Oh Haz, this is awesome! Can’t believe you, you big sap! You know I was only teasing right?”

“Yeah I know – but then I thought, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I dragged you all the way here and didn’t let you see the top of the empire state building? I mean, orgasms aside, we didn’t really do much the last three days!!”

“Now, now” said Louis quietly. “Let’s not be hasty to dismiss the orgasms – they’ve been my favourite part so far!”

Harry chuckled, pulling him out of the car, immediately flanked by their security team. There were lots of people around and they were recognised almost instantly, but the access by the general public didn’t start for another twenty minutes, so they were quickly ushered up in a lift all to themselves and emerged onto the roof.

The view was incredible and they wandered the area, taking it all in. Harry pulled out his phone, taking several shots of the view, the roof top and also of Louis. They snapped some selfies with New York in the background before Harry moved behind Louis, sliding his arms around his waist and putting his chin down on his shoulder. Louis leaned back into his chest and they quietly enjoyed the view, before Alberto interrupted to tell them that the general public were on their way up. He herded them into the lift to go back down and when they arrived at the bottom, they were inundated with fans, wanting Harry’s autograph or picture.

He was very patient and took lots of photos and signed lots of autographs. Louis offered to take the photos and chatted pleasantly with the fans, proud of his boyfriend. Some of the fans asked for pictures of them together and they obliged happily. When they had lingered long enough, security escorted them to the car and they climbed in.

“Central Park?” Alberto asked Harry, who nodded as he tweeted the selfie they'd taken and adding the caption "sightseeing with my favourite fan!".

“Central Park?” asked Louis excitedly.

Harry nodded. They’ve just opened the ice skating rink, you know the open air one? I thought we could take a spin?”

Louis grinned, pulling Harry in for a kiss. “Best boyfriend ever!”

There weren’t too many people at the ice skating rink just yet as it was still fairly early. They were recognised, but people kept a polite distance, leaving them free to enjoy themselves. They laughed and giggled as they slipped and skidded their way around the rink – neither very graceful. They held hands and tried twirling each other and fell over multiple times, usually in a heap of tangled limbs as one pulled the other down as they fell. People were snapping photos and taking videos, which would be on twitter and YouTube later, but they didn’t care how silly they looked.

When they were damp and soggy and had had enough, they gave the skates back and slipped on their shoes. Harry grabbed them some hot chocolate and they sipped them in the car, driving past the statue of liberty and stopping in Times Square. The boys got out and strolled around Times Square, but about fifteen minutes into their walk, had to abandon it due to the amount of fans crowding in on them.

They managed to change into large hoodies and sunglasses and run around Coney Island for about an hour without being recognised, riding some of the rides and Harry insisting on them playing all the sideshow games until they won a soft toy for both Ernie and Dot. They bought a giant fairy floss on a stick to share and made their way back to the car as soon as the first person recognised them.

Louis sank back against the seat as Harry chattered about bringing the kids next time.

“Can you imagine how much they’d love it Lou? The ice skating and Coney Island. Daisy and Phoebe can skate really well and Ernie ad Dot would love to learn! Oooh! And we could take them to the Guggenheim – they’d love it! There’s some mad art in there and it’s so interesting – Fizzy would die, she loves that stuff.”

Louis’ heart swelled at Harry’s words and he smiled fondly at him. He was always thinking of the kids. Always wanting them to be happy. He was such a big hearted, wonderful person and Louis thought he may burst open, unable to contain all the love he had for Harry in his small body.

When they arrived back into the hotel room, he pushed Harry onto the bed, climbing up and straddling him.

“You do realise Mr Styles, that you have accrued some fairly substantial boyfriend brownie points today, with your little date?”

“Oh really?” replied Harry with a smirk. “And do I get a reward for accruing these brownie points?”

“Glad you asked” answered Louis, lips curving with a soft smile and his eyes heavy with desire “because I am about to give your reward.” He leaned down, slid Harry’s pants down to his knees and swallowed him down in one go.

Harry’s eyes rolled back in his head and he moaned as the waves of tingling pleasure washed over him. “Best reward ever” he breathed out in a choked voice before losing himself in the sensation of Louis’ mouth.

 

XXXX

 

Two Weeks later, Harry’s car pulled up in the driveway late on the Saturday afternoon, Niall in the passenger seat. The whole Tomlinson family came out to greet them, Ernie and Dot racing at the car, squealing Harry’s name.

Lottie flew into Niall’s arms, tears falling and he hugged her tightly, eyes watery as he murmured in her ear.

Harry stepped out of the car and held out his arms, catching Ernie and Dot as they threw themselves into his arms. He was sent off balance by the force of them and ended up flat on his back with the twins pinning him down and climbing on him. He was laughing happily and wrapped his arms around them, pulling them in and kissing the tops of their heads.

“We missed you!” Dot exclaimed.

“Yeah!” added Ernie “you were gone so long Harry!”

“I know munchkins, I’m so sorry! I won’t go that long without seeing you again, I promise.”

Louis pulled them off and helped Harry stand up, where he was greeted with hugs from everyone.

Lottie and Niall disappeared into Lottie’s room almost immediately, Louis raising an eyebrow at them as they scuttled past.

“I don’t want to hear any noises coming from your room” he muttered as they went past.

“We’ll do our best, but I’m not making any promises!” Lottie winked at him.

"Ewwwww! Stop that!" he moaned loudly, chuckling as Niall grinned at him too.

 

They spent the afternoon filling Harry in on everything that had happened while he was away and lazing about the lounge room. Lottie and Niall joined them later on and they played Uno and Pictionary and Harry and Louis cheated appallingly at both, causing an uproar.

After he’d bathed Ernie and Dot, Harry read them a bedtime story and tucked them into bed. They both had their soft toys Harry had won them at Coney Island tucked up next to them, making him smile.

Ernie fell asleep almost immediately, but Dot was very clingy and restless after missing Harry so much. She kept hold of his hand and was chattering away with nonsense. Harry knew she was a lot more sensitive than Ernie and probably felt his absence more. He was going to stay as long as she needed him tonight, so he crawled up onto the bed beside her, snuggling her in. They chatted quietly and then Harry told her she need to go to sleep.

“I won’t leave” he told her “I’ll stay with you till you fall asleep OK?”

“OK” she said. She then leaned over and picked up his picture from next to her bed. It was in a pink frame. Ernie had a matching blue one.

“When you weren’t here I said goodnight to you every night in your picture” she explained.

“I say goodnight to your picture when I’m away too princess” Harry told her.

She smiled up at him before placing a small kiss on the picture and whispering “good night Papa Harry.” She put the frame back on the bedside table and turned to Harry, snuggling into his shoulder and running her hands up into his hair to twirl it while she went to sleep.

Harry tried to lay still for her, tried to keep calm. He was sure she would be able to feel his heart hammering away in his chest so hard he may actually have a heart attack. All the breath had left his lungs and tears stung his eyes. He was so overwhelmed with the joy coursing through him it was almost unbearable.

She had called him Papa. He wasn’t sure she meant to, or if he was meant to hear it even. But there had been no mistaking her words.

He was grinning like an idiot. He lay still, holding her and watching as she drifted off to sleep, her breathing becoming steady and even and her little mouth slipping open. Her fingers stilled in his hair and he kept watching her, finally letting the tears trickle down his cheeks.

When Louis popped his head in fifteen minutes later, he strode over, wiping his eyes and raising his eyebrows questioningly.

Harry looked up at him, smiling through watery eyes. “She called me Papa Harry” he whispered.

Louis’ face went slack with shock. “She did?”

Harry nodded, unable to stop the grin that took over his face. Louis reached down and cupped Harry’s face with his hand and they simply smiled at each other, words completely inadequate for such a monumental moment.

Harry hoped it wasn't a one-off and that she'd do it again.

She did - every day from then on.

 

XXXX

 

Harry had discussed with both Niall and Zayn his plans for more allowances for family time on future tours. Both boys were in favour of the idea, as both had partners they’d like to see more of. They arranged a meeting with Management for the following week to make their demands.

When the morning of the trip to London arrived, both Ernie and Dot hovered around Harry like magnets. He and Louis could both tell they were worried about him leaving again so soon, so he gathered them onto his lap at the kitchen table.

“I’m only going for one night munchkins – I’ll be back tomorrow to pick you up from school yeah?”

They both nodded and Dot kissed his cheek. “OK, but hurry back Papa Harry, please?”

He nodded, lump forming in his throat. He still couldn’t get over his new title. Ernie still hadn’t called him Papa, but watched intently his reaction to Dot – almost like he was making sure it was really OK before saying it. Harry knew he would work his way there in his own time. He ruffled Ernie’s hair and hustled them both upstairs to brush their teeth for school.

He was dropping them off on his way out of town, Louis was dropping the others off in the minivan. Harry pulled up outside the school and jumped out, smiling at a few of the other parents he’d got to know. He helped them out of the car and they both kissed him goodbye before running into the gate. He watched them go, smiling fondly.

As he turned to go, he noticed Ernie come racing back out of the gate, running toward Harry. Harry crouched down as he approached and caught him as he slammed into him, hugging Harry tightly.

“I’ll miss you Papa” he whispered.

Harry let out a choked sob as he replied “I’ll miss you too Little E. I’ll be back before you know it mate and we’ll play some footy in the backyard OK?”

Ernie pulled back and grinned at him. “OK” he agreed before running back into the gate, waving to Harry.

Harry got back into the car, but didn’t drive off straight away. He wiped the stray tears from his cheeks and called Louis’ number.

“Hello love! Miss me already?” came Louis’ teasing voice through the speakerphone.

Harry let out a sniffle and in a voice thick with emotion he simply said “Lou?”

“Harry love, are you crying? What’s wrong?” asked Louis

“It’s Ernie, he……” he couldn’t finish the sentence, but Louis knew. He knew it was what Harry had been waiting for.

“Oh Haz, he said it didn’t he?” he said softly.

Harry nodded before he realised Louis couldn’t see him and added a “Yes” in a quiet voice.

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I had to break the final chapter into two as it was too big. I'll post the second half tomorrow night.
> 
> Just so you know - there were 3 possible proposals, but this is the one I kept coming back to, so it's what I went with. I hope you like it...
> 
> I make no apologies for the ridiculous amount of fluff and mush in this chapter!
> 
> Big love to you all and to those leaving comments and kudos - they are the best xmas present ever!!

The meeting with Management in London wasn’t a comfortable one, but the boys were determined. They were completely united on this and wouldn’t be swayed by Management’s varying arguments. After Richard had tried to tell them for the fourteenth time that they had a small window of shelf life that they needed to exploit to make as much money as possible, Harry had had enough.

“Richard, I’m getting the feeling you’re not listening to us. As far as I can see, the person looking to make as much money out of this as possible is _you_ and I object to your assumption that we’re some flash in the pan group with no shelf life! We are here to make music and a nice living is a bonus. We won’t, however, put that above our personal relationships or families. What we’re asking for isn’t ridiculous, just a bit of consideration when planning tours and personal appearances. We’re asking for input into our schedules, so we can work around family birthdays and we’re asking for time between tours to have at home, so our work life balance is more normal. It doesn’t seem like too much to us - but if you can’t work it out, maybe we need to consider new management.” He looked blandly at Richard as he spoke, his voice never raising in volume and his tone belying the fact that he had just openly made a threat.

They continued to stare at each other without either saying a thing. Richard was quite obviously furious, his face becoming red and his lips held tightly together. When Niall and Zayn moved to stand closely behind Harry and stared menacingly at him, he seemed to realise he needed to say something.

“Obviously, there’s no need for breaking contracts - we want you boys to be happy” he choked out almost against his will. “While I think you are making a mistake with this decision, there is nothing in your contract that expressly addresses scheduling and time off, so we will bow to your wishes and implement the changes you’ve requested. Is there anything else?”

“No” replied Niall with a grin “I think that about covers it, right fellas?”

“Sure does” agreed Zayn, smiling happily while Harry nodded.

As Richard strode from the room, the three boys looked at each other and burst out laughing.

“Holy shit!” laughed Niall “I thought he was gonna pop a vein or something when you spoke to him like that Harry!”

“Yeah” added Zayn “did you see how red his face got?”

Harry just grinned back at them. “We did it! From now on we’ll have a better schedule and some proper time for relationships. It’s gonna be a good Christmas lads!”

 

XXXX

 

Harry woke with a smile on his face.

“Lou, wake up” he said softly, stirring Louis from his slumber by kissing him all over the face. “It’s the first of December!”

“Oh my God Harry! It’s also seven in the morning and we don’t have anywhere to be – go back to sleep!” Louis groaned, rolling over and trying to snuggle deeper under the covers.

“Not a chance!” Harry chuckled. “It’s tree day! I’ve been waiting to put the tree up for weeks! C’mon, let’s get all the kids up and I’ll make pancakes while you get all the stuff out of the garage.”

“Nope, not happening” replied Louis grumpily.

“Baby, please!” Harry begged, pouting, and Louis knew he didn’t stand a chance then because Harry could always twist him around his little finger with just those two words. He sighed and rolled back to look at Harry with one eye open.

“And what’s in it for me?” he asked.

Harry grinned as he leaned close, lips touching Louis’ ear to whisper slow and dirty all the things he was going to do to him after they’d put up the tree and decorated the house.

As Louis listened, he felt his body respond instantly, heat seeping into his bones and his eyes sliding closed. He was half hard this morning anyway, so it didn’t take much to have him fully hard and throbbing. He reached for Harry, intent on having the promised rewards now, and the tree be damned, but Harry was too quick for him, rolling away and giggling as he replied “not until we finish the tree!”

“Tease!” Louis complained, rock hard in his boxers. He reached down to grasp himself, moaning with relief as he eased some of the pressure. When he heard Harry’s breath hitch, he looked over to see Harry watching him with heavy eyes and his mouth hanging open. He could see how aroused Harry was, knew that look, so he turned up the heat a little.

He slid the duvet down and slipped his boxers down just enough to put himself on display as his hand worked slowly over his bulging shaft. He closed his eyes as he slowly pumped himself, sighing and arching his back, pushing his head back into the pillow. He could hear Harry’s breathing become faster and shallow as he watched. He let out a low groan as he quickened the pace of his hand, loving Harry’s eyes on him. He could feel the heat in Harry’s gaze burning his skin and it spurred him on.

“I know what you’re doing” Harry breathed out, his trembling voice raspy with desire “but it won’t work, I won’t give in.”

Despite his determined words, Harry’s voice made it clear he was barely in control as he watched Louis get himself off. He was panting now and was watching Louis intently, not moving.

Louis opened his eyes then and slowly turned to look at Harry, his pupils blown and his mouth gasping. His hand was working rapidly now and despite the dry drag, he could feel the familiar tingling as his climax started to build. Harry was reaching down to grip himself now, a soft keening sound escaping from his mouth as he tried to maintain control. Their eyes were locked and the moment was incredibly intense as they kept their gazes locked.

In a split second Harry’s control snapped and he launched himself onto Louis.

“Fuck Lou” he breathed “you’re trying to kill me!” He claimed Louis’ mouth in a searing kiss as he slid his hand down to stop Louis’ movements. He reached across Louis for the small bottle of Lube on the bedside table. He coated his fingers, but instead of opening Louis up, he straddled him and growled “your turn to watch” as he proceeded to slide his fingers down to his hole, slipping them in with a gasp and throwing his head back, the tendons in his neck straining. Louis stared as his fingers worked quickly, two replacing the first and then a third added in record time. He was aching for release, panting and gasping at the sight of Harry so turned on.

“God Harry” he moaned, breathing ragged.

Harry brought his head forward again, his eyes on Louis’ as he let out a filthy moan, trying to push back down on his own fingers, but whimpering at how inadequate they were. He withdrew them and grasped Louis’ cock, slicking over it with his hand and lining it up with his entrance and sinking down on a long low groan of pleasure. Louis shuddered at being encased in Harry’s tight heat, the pleasure both unbearable and perfect all at once. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself not to come yet.

Harry leaned down to kiss him, all tongue and open mouth as he began to slowly rise upward onto his knees and sink back down. They both moaned then, the sensation incredible as Harry started moving in earnest. He rode Louis, rising and sliding back down time and again, finding just the right angle for his prostate and letting out a broken cry as the pleasure shot right through his body. He was incoherent now as his pace increased. He had lost his rhythm and was pounding down, blindly chasing his release.

Louis’ hands were gripping his hips, pulling Harry down hard as his hips rose to meet him. Both were gasping and crying out as their bodies came together, each sound echoing in the quiet morning. Louis felt the tingling spread all the way to his toes before it was bursting into shards of fire running along his nerve endings and he let out a broken cry as he came, the release shaking him with its force.

Harry rode him through it, his frenzied movements becoming faster until his body jerked and stiffened and he screamed out, his climax so intense his body hunched forward as he shot up Louis’ stomach and chest. He collapsed onto it, smearing it between them and not even caring about the mess. They lay there trying to catch their breath when they were taken off guard by the knock at their bedroom door.

 

“Daddy? Papa? Are you OK?” asked Ernie as he and Dot turned the knob to the door.

It happened in a matter of seconds.

Both boys felt the blind panic that came with the moment and Harry pulled out just as Louis’ grabbed him and all but threw him off the other side of the bed to the floor with a bang and an “umph”. He grabbed the duvet, pulling it up and yanking up the boxers that still sat around his knees. Meanwhile, Harry had done a commando roll and grabbed his undies, struggling to get them on as the door creaked open.

“We heard yelling” said Dot, clearly concerned. “Are you Ok Daddy?”

Just then, Harry popped up from behind the bed, panting. “We’re fine princess” he smiled. “We were ummm….” He looked at Louis.

“We were wrestling” added Louis “and it got a bit too rough and Harry got flung onto the floor, which is the banging and yelling you heard, so um, yeah…sorry, we didn’t meant to wake you.”

Ernie and Dot looked a little confused at their behaviour, but shrugged and were about to launch themselves onto the bed, which made Louis panic due to the come spread across his chest and now the sheets. He was about to order them to stop, when Lottie came to their rescue.

“Good morning lovelies!” she chirped, distracting them and allowing Louis to breath. “Do you remember what day it is?”

Dot and Ernie looked at each other, frowning, before realisation dawned and they grinned.

“It’s Christmas tree day!” exclaimed Ernie.

“Are we putting it up today?” asked Dot, excited.

Harry grinned. “We sure are! But first you need to find a Christmas CD – we need some music. Do you think you could do that while we have a shower?”

The twins nodded and went running off downstairs. Louis and Harry both sagged with relief and Lottie snorted, pointing a finger at them.

“You two owe me for saving your arses! For the record, I knew you needed saving because these walls are like paper – and Niall and I don’t appreciate waking up to THAT!!!” She turned and shut their door, following the twins downstairs.

Harry slumped down onto the bed, his heart still beating at a thousand miles an hour.

“Oh My God Lou, we need a fucking lock for that door!!” he chuckled.

“We’ll visit the hardware shop today love” Louis smiled, before giggling and leaning over to kiss him.

After they’d showered the started to make their way downstairs. They were met at the bottom of the stairs by Niall, carrying in a box of decorations from the garage. He gave them an arch look before saying “listen you pair, would you kindly warn us if there’s to be some loud sex in future, I’ve been scarred for life these past six weeks and this morning’s exhibition was the final straw!”

Harry smirked and Louis answered dryly “I’m sure you mentioned having your own flat in London, and yet here you are, always in my house. Shouldn’t you at least go home and check you haven’t been robbed?”

Niall grinned. “If loud sex was your tactic to get me out of your house mate, you’ve underestimated your sister’s charms! That’s not nearly enough to send me packing while ever Lottie’s _sweet lovin’_ is here!” He laughed at the look on Louis’ face and escaped to join the twins in the lounge room, leaving Louis scowling after him.

“Fuck off Niall, I’ve warned you about that shit!” Louis called after him.

“Warned him about what shit?” asked Lottie, who’d just walked in with the last of the boxes.

“Reminding me you two are…..you know! It’s not something I need to discuss alright?” Louis growled as he marched off into the lounge room.

Harry and Lottie grinned at each other.

“Do you think he’ll ever see me as anything but his baby sister?” she asked.

“Nope” Harry laughed. “Don’t know how he’ll ever cope with you getting married and having babies – we might need to sedate him when the time comes!”

 

XXXX

 

Christmas music echoed through the house, stirring Daisy, Phoebe and Fizzy and drawing them to the lounge room, where everything had been organised and sorted, ready for the decorating to begin.

“Breakfast first!” ordered Harry “the pancakes are ready, let’s go people!”

They all shuffled into the kitchen and dived into the pancakes, everyone talking all at once. Louis watched them all joking and laughing and his eyes sought out Harry’s across the table. Harry was busy cutting Dot’s pancake into smaller pieces while Ernie sat in his lap and Louis’ took a moment to drink in the sight. Harry looked up just then and his eyes flicked to Louis. For a moment, time was suspended and they shared a soft smile, then Harry’s attention was reclaimed by Dot and Fizzy started talking to Louis, and the moment was over. But in that moment, so much had been said without words.

They spent the day singing along to the Christmas carols and decorating the tree, and the house. Harry, Daisy and Phoebe also baked some Christmas cookies while Louis, Niall, Dot and Ernie went for a bike ride. When they returned, they were almost frozen to the core and Harry plied them with hot chocolate, whispering to Louis that he’d warm him up properly later.

“No you bloody won’t!” Niall threw at them as he walked past, having heard Harry’s murmured words. “For the love of God, give it a rest!”

Giving it rest clearly wasn’t something they were capable of, but as they made love that night, it was slow and quiet - words whispered into each other’s ears and soft gasps replacing the loud frenzied lovemaking of that morning. They later threw on their underwear and fell asleep wrapped around each other.

When Harry woke in the early hours of the next morning, it was to Dot between them, hand in Harry’s curls and Ernie lying on Louis’ torso as usual. Louis and he were still holding hands over Dot’s legs and Harry smiled contentedly, looking down at his little family, before dropping back to sleep.

 

XXXX

 

Harry was pissed off. He had tried not to have any commitments on Louis’ birthday, but he was sitting on the set of the Alan Carr Show, wishing with every fibre of his being, that he was back in Manchester. Louis had been great about it and they’d woken up together and had a couple of hours before Harry and Niall had flown down to London, but Harry was disappointed. He’d wanted to be there to spend the whole day with Louis and Christmas Eve with the kids. They were flying back tonight but wouldn’t get in until just after midnight and it was his first Christmas with the kids.

Being the professional he was, and because he genuinely like Alan, he swallowed down his disappointment and smiled for the cameras, answering questions and chatting amiably. They performed their new single as well as a track from their upcoming album and then sat down for more of a chat. Alan asked Zayn and Niall about their love lives, before moving onto Harry.

“Now Harry, I’ve seen you and your fella gadding about Manchester and in New York and I have to say well done to you – that boy is delicious!” The crowd cheered as Harry blushed and tried to hold back a grin.

“You’ll get no argument from me Alan” he answered. “I think he’s gorgeous!” The crowd erupted again as a photo of Louis was displayed on the big screen behind him.

“Now, the young lady that Niall is dating is actually his sister, am I right?” Alan asked.

“Yes, that’s right” replied Harry.

“But he has a number of siblings, correct me if I’m wrong, that he’s had to raise due to his parents’ untimely death?”

“Yeah, I’m sure everyone knows the story by now - he’s had to be a parent since he was eighteen to six siblings, two of them newborns at the time. Ernie and Dot actually call him Daddy, as he’s the only parent they’ve ever known. He’s given up so much for them and I’m so proud of what he’s achieved, he an amazing person and a really great parent.” Harry was glowing with pride as he spoke about Louis, his eyes lighting up and his smile wide.

Another picture popped up on the screen of Louis and Ernie and Dot, all rugged up in beanies and scarves, big grins on their faces. Harry hadn’t seen it before and he stared at it with a grin as the audience “awwwed”.

“We hear he’s not the only great parent – a little bird tells me that you are very close with all of the kids. I also have it on good authority that the two youngest, Ernie and Dot, call you Papa!” A photo popped up then of him and Ernie and Dot. It was the one he tweeted after the party and he chuckled as the audience went mental.

“Yeah, they’re pretty special to me” Harry answered. He turned to Alan “your source is pretty well informed – has Niall been selling secrets again?”

Alan giggled and replied “Niall is actually off the hook – because…” he paused for effect “my source is none other than Louis Tomlinson himself!”

The crowd gasped as Louis then walked on stage, the whole family with him. They were all dressed in their best clothes and had clearly been through hair and makeup as they all looked so cute. Harry was so shocked he sat gaping at them all before collecting himself and racing over to hug them all, finishing with a kiss for Louis. The audience were going out of their minds. Niall and Zayn didn’t look surprised though and Harry realised they must have known.

The rep from their management was sitting to the side of the set, obviously unaware this was going to be happening by the look on his face. He’d paled and pulled out his phone to call Richard, looking like he may faint. Harry was smirking at him as he walked off, gesturing at his phone as he explained what was going on to the person on the other end.

They cut to a commercial break so they could get themselves organised. Harry was grinning like an idiot and asking Louis what was going on. Louis simply smiled at him and said “they asked us to come as a surprise, so here we are!”

Niall had stood and walked over to hug and kiss Lottie and Zayn got up to hug everyone as well.

Two stage hands brought out a second couch to handle all of the Tomlinson children and Louis slid onto the boy’s couch next Harry.

When they were all settled, Alan welcomed them all to the show and asked each of them to tell the audience their names. When it was Dot’s turn, she got a little stage fright and turned to look at Harry and Louis, her bottom lip wobbling. Harry didn’t hesitate, he immediately held out his arms to her and she ran over, climbing onto his lap. He whispered into her ear and she nodded, running her hand up into his curls and leaning back against him as he spoke for her. “This is Doris everyone. We call her Dot. She’s a little bit shy, so she wanted me to tell you her name.”

As the audience cooed over her, Dot seemed to relax and smiled a little bit for the camera. She stayed put on Harry’s lap, but nobody seemed to mind.

“So Louis” Alan addressed Louis directly “we all know the love story – you dated long ago and found each other again after all this time, so sweet, yadda yadda yadda…..tell us the juicy stuff – is he really as adorable as he seems?”

Louis laughed and looked fondly at Harry, who was looking back with a cheeky grin. “He is pretty adorable, yeah. Bit too charming for own good to be honest. I mean, look at those curls! Who wouldn’t love him?”

Harry barked out a laugh and Dot looked up at him. “Papa! You did a belly laugh!” she giggled. The audience all laughed, letting out another “awwww”. Dot then remembered they were there and buried her face in Harry’s shoulder. Harry was grinning like an idiot and he didn’t care how besotted he looked. He was so excited to share his family with the world, so proud.

“But seriously” added Louis “Harry is amazing. He’s brought so much joy to our lives – to _my_ life – that it’s difficult to put into words. So we decided to make him a video to tell him how much we love him. Would you like to see it?” he asked.

The audience went wild and Alan cued the video. They all looked at the screen, Harry smiling as he watched them all speaking, one by one, explaining what Harry meant to them.

Lottie spoke about the sacrifices Louis had made and how she was so grateful Harry had come back into his life and made him so happy. She spoke about Louis’ accident and mentioned how Harry had cared for them all, and for Louis, in the aftermath.

Fizzy talked about how Harry was always available to talk to, even though he was so busy. She also added with a wink that Louis was always in a good mood now and they owed that to Harry. She also spoke about Anne and how wonderful she was to them all.

Daisy and Phoebe talked about how fun Harry was, playing board games and always making time for them. They also told everyone what an amazing cook he was and that he cooked pancakes and biscuits and muffins.

Harry’s eyes were welling up with tears as he listened to the people he loved tell the world how much they loved him back. He reached over and took Louis’ hand in his.

When the time came for Ernie and Dot to say their piece, he couldn’t stop grinning. They were so cute.

“We love our Papa” said Ernie “because he’s really cool and he does lots of stuff with us, like games and things. He plays football with us in the backyard too.”

“And he also does drawings with us and helps us make things for Daddy” added Dot. “He lets me twirl his hair when I go to sleep and he reads us stories when it’s bed time too.”

They were grinning now, really getting into talking about Harry. Harry was pretty much a blubbering mess, trying to casually lean behind Dot and wipe his tears on her jumper before anyone noticed, but they were filming his reaction for the audience and putting it in the corner of the screen, so the whole world knew he was a mess.

The twins showed everybody their photos of Harry, explaining that they said goodnight to them when he was away on tour and the audience was eating it up.

When they’d yelled down the camera “we love you Papa!” there was barely a dry eye in the whole place.

The camera then focused in on Louis, sitting in a room on his own, Lottie behind the camera. He took a deep breath and looked up at the lens.

“I hardly know where to start Harry. When you came into my life the first time, we were just babies. When you came _back_ into my life, I had my own babies and then some! I was frightened and you were fearless enough for both of us. You have brought so much joy and so much love to our family. You have a special place in all our hearts and I don’t know what I’d do without you! I love you so much Harry.” He smiled as he continued. “Now before we finish this video, we have something to ask.”

Harry’s hand squeezed Louis’ hard as his lungs emptied and he felt like he couldn’t breathe.  He had frozen, unable to believe what may be happening - not daring to even hope.

The screen then cut to all of the younger kids, standing in a line with Lottie behind the camera. As he watched they each spoke, one after the other.

Fizzy spoke first. “Will you make us…”

Phoebe then added “a real family?”

She turned to Daisy who said “Harry, will you please…”

Ernie and Dot then yelled “Marry our Daddy!!”

Louis then stepped into the screen, smiling softly and unfolding a piece of paper which read “Pretty Please?”

 

The audience gasped then went absolutely silent, waiting for Harry’s answer.

Harry’s face was frozen in shock and his mouth was hanging open, he didn’t say anything for a few moments, just stared at the screen, tears streaming down his face. Niall nudged him and he shook himself, turning to find Louis on one knee, holding out a little black box and saying “no pressure love, just a million people watching me put my heart on my sleeve, an answer anytime would be really great for my nerves!”

Harry burst out laughing as he lunged forward and tackled Louis onto the carpet, kissing him all over his face and murmuring “Yes”. The audience erupted then, the noise deafening as the Tomlinson children cheered and hugged each other, Ernie and Dot jumping up and down on the spot with glee.

“Well this is what I get for doing live Television folks – it’s chaos in the studio here!” joked Alan. “I think we’d better throw to a little commercial break so we can try and calm things down, and we’ll be back in just a jiffy!”

Alan came over to where Harry and Louis were now hugging the kids and Niall and Zayn, congratulating them and organising for Lottie to take the kids backstage to wait for Harry and Louis. They had a few questions to wrap up before they were finished.

Louis shook Alan’s hand and thanked him for all his help pulling the proposal off and Alan scoffed.

“Are you kidding darling? My ratings will be through the roof with that adorable display! I should be thanking you!”

 

XXXX

 

By the time they all flew back to Manchester, it was just after midnight. The twins were exhausted and Louis and Harry tucked them into bed, stupidly grinning at each other the whole time.

They’d had so many texts from friends and family and they read them all together. They’d also had people shouting out congratulations to them at the airport, to which they’d waved and smiled their thankyou’s.

At about two o’clock on Christmas morning, they showered and fell into bed, still smiling softly at each other.

“I can’t believe you organised all that for me without me even having a clue!” Harry told him.

Louis chuckled. “Well I had a lot of help from Niall and Zayn. Alan was also wonderful, flying us down there and such. The idea actually came from a conversation with your mum while you were away, she and I then planned out the details. It was so hard keeping it a secret though – I thought Dot was gonna burst from keeping it in!”

Harry giggled. “It was perfect Lou – everything was perfect. I’m gonna watch that video three hundred times, you realise that, don’t you?”

“You sap! My fiancé is giant sappy girl!” he teased.

Harry just smiled back at him and said softly “fiancé – I like the sound of that.”

“Me too curly” answered Louis, pulling him in for a tender kiss.

"Merry Christmas Harry"  "Merry Christmas Lou" Harry replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW - keep an eye out for my Xmas fic up Christmas Eve because I can't give you a real present!! :) x


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Final Chapter - I'm actually really sad! I've loved writing this story so much. Thank you so much for reading it and making this journey so wonderful. I've so enjoyed reading your comments and chatting - I'd love to know where everyone is from!
> 
> My Xmas fic is called "The Santa Crawl (The twelve pubs of Christmas)" and it'll be up tomorrow night if you wanna give it read :) 
> 
> Hope you all have a lovely Christmas :) xxx

The wedding day was cold and snowing but the setting was perfect.

As Harry reached over to straighten Louis’ bow tie, he smiled softly at his boy’s pouting face.

“Stop sulking” he whispered, pulling him in by the lapels for a quick kiss.

“I’m entitled to a little pouting Haz! It’s been a year since I proposed and they’re still beating us down the aisle! Liam only proposed six months ago! Just fucking marry me already will you?”

Harry chuckled, pulling him back in and kissing him again. “Be patient love, it’s been such a hectic year – I want it to be perfect. We’re only gonna do it once. Now paste a smile on that grumpy face and get up there and fulfil your best man duties!” He sent him off with a smack to the bum, grinning as he watched him stomp up to join Liam.

Niall slid up beside Harry. “He still got the shits about Liam beating him to the altar?”

“Oh yeah” replied Harry, still grinning, his eyes never leaving his boy. “When you ask for Lottie’s hand next week, make sure you don’t stand too close, he’s gonna lose his shit!”

Niall chuckled. “He sure is!” He paused before adding “Still can’t believe I’m gonna do this Hazza! It’s fucking amazing! My mum’s so excited – they loved her as soon as they met her last year and she’s been nagging me ever since to put a ring on it! She’d better say yes or I don’t know what I’ll do!” He was joking, but Harry could hear the nervous undercurrent in his voice.

He turned to Niall then, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I don’t think you need to worry about that mate – she loves you madly. If we all survived the last twelve months of craziness, we can survive anything!”

“It’s been a ridiculous year hasn’t it?” Niall chuckled. “Who’d have thought us three would be so huge eh? Blows my mind when I stop to think about it! The tour was insane!”

Zayn and Perrie arrived then and they were both glowing. They were grinning ear to ear and giggling like schoolgirls. Harry and Niall frowned at them.

“What’s up with you two?” Niall asked.

“Yeah, you’re all weird and bubbly and shit” added Harry.

Zayn and Perrie looked at each other and burst out laughing before Perrie raised her left hand. “Zayn asked me to marry him!” she squealed excitedly.

Niall grinned and congratulated them, while Harry groaned and shook his head. “No, no, no! Do you realise the pressure you people are putting me under to get Louis to the altar? Everybody needs to stop getting engaged and married till I get the job done!” Despite his words, he was laughing and hugged both Perrie and Zayn, congratulating them both, but forbidding them from getting married before him.

 

“Liam, calm the fuck down mate, all your fidgeting is making me jumpy!” Louis reached out to give Liam a side hug and Liam sagged into him.

“I don’t know why I’m nervous!” he exclaimed. “It’s not like I think she’s gonna do a runner or anything – it’s just, this is it, you know? This is the day we say forever! It’s pretty monumental really.”

“Well I wouldn’t fucking know, would I? Harry is insisting on planning this perfect wedding and I just want to get married – I don’t even care if we elope! I just want to be Mrs Tomlinson-Styles already!”

Liam laughed. “You’ll be married soon Lou, don’t be so impatient! I think it’s beautiful Harry wants to plan the perfect wedding….Oh do you have the rings?”

“Yes Liam, I have the rings! Now calm down!” he chuckled. They stood in silence for a few moments, but Liam started fidgeting again, so Louis sighed.

“Would it help if I gave you my wedding present now – take your mind off things?” he asked.

“What did you get me?” asked Liam, curious. “Can’t be very big if you have it with you.”

“Well good things come in small packages you arse!” he grinned and reached into his lapel pocket, producing an envelope and handing to Liam.

Liam took it, frowning at it and asking “what’s this? I hope it’s not cash Lou, because that’s not a very personal present for my wedding and I’d be a little disappointed frankly.”

Louis rolled his eyes. “Just open it you twat!”

When Liam slid the envelope open and pulled out the sheet of paper, his jaw dropped open and his eyes welled up. Inside was the deed to the business, the ownership transferred to Liam. Louis and Harry had discussed it. Louis was rarely there now and Liam had been running it almost single-handedly for the last twelve months. He’d helped to build it and deserved to have something of his own for he and Sophia to build a life with. God knows he and Harry didn’t need the money after the year just gone.

“I don’t know what to say Lou..” he stammered.

“Just say thank you” he grinned.

Liam launched at him, hugging him fiercely. “Thank you” he whispered, voice breaking with emotion.

There was a stirring in the congregation then, and someone gave the Vicar the nod. He turned to Liam and smiled. “Let’s get this show on the road then, shall we?”

 

XXXX

 

Louis sat with a raised eyebrow, staring at Niall with narrowed eyes.

Niall sat at the table across from him, trying not to squirm. Louis could be a scary son of bitch when he wanted to be and he obviously wasn’t going to make this easy on Niall at all.

“Why should I?”

“What do you mean, why should you?”

“Why should I give my blessing?”

Niall glared back at him. “Because I love her Lou! Because I’ll do everything in my power to see her happy and well provided for! You’d be fucking lucky to have me as a brother-in-law and you know it!” He then added quietly “she’s everything to me, mate.”

Louis stared at him for a few more moments before giggling as he replied “I’m just messing with you Niall – of course you have my blessing!”

Niall sagged with relief. “You bastard!” he cursed “you really had me going there! Just so you know though – I’d have married her anyway, with or without your consent.”

“Ooh Feisty!” Louis teased, before rounding the table and pulling Niall into a hug. “I couldn’t want for a better brother-in-law mate – now you just need to convince her to say yes to your ugly mug!”

 

XXXX

 

It was six months later and a full eighteen months after the proposal that their wedding finally came together. It was spring time and they held the wedding at a beautiful country estate in Cheshire. It had a huge main manor house and a gorgeous little wedding chapel on the grounds, complete with stained glass windows and beautiful gardens outside. A marquee was erected in the grounds for the reception.

The property was private and secure, with no access by the public or media on the grounds and both boys had fallen in love with it on sight. Their families and Niall, Zayn, Perrie, Liam and Sophia were all staying the night before, with all the guests staying on the following night after the wedding. They had deliberately kept the wedding small and intimate with only fifty guests and they were buzzing with excitement as they arrived at the venue.

Genevieve, their wedding co-ordinator was there to greet them as they entered the incredible foyer, with its marble floors and tall windows.

“Good afternoon gentlemen!” she smiled. They both hugged her hello and they chatted about the last minute details as Anne and Gemma organised the children and obtained the room keys from reception. They all then proceeded to their rooms. Dot and Ernie were staying with Anne and Robin and Fizzy, Daisy and Phoebe were staying in a room with Gemma. This gave the newly engaged Niall and Lottie some privacy in their own room.

That afternoon, they held a short rehearsal in the wedding chapel, before a lovely family dinner in the restaurant. It was an early night for everyone, with Ernie and Dot tiring quickly after al the excitement of the days leading up to the wedding.

When they went back to their suite that evening, Harry filled the giant spa bath with water and lit candles all around the large bathroom. They sank into the tub and Louis sat between Harry’s long legs, leaning back on his chest. Harry wrapped both his legs around Louis’ body, caging him in.

“I can’t believe we’re finally here” Louis sighed. “This has to have been the lengthiest journey to the altar in history!”

Harry chuckled. “We certainly took the long road, didn’t we? We made it though, Lou and that’s really all that matters now.” He kissed Louis’ head and picked up the soap, sliding it leisurely over Louis’ skin as he whispered “I can’t wait to marry you tomorrow baby. We’re gonna be so happy, I promise.”

Louis smiled fondly and turned around, straddling Harry’s lap as Harry’s arms came up around his waist. “You’ve already made me so happy Haz.” He leant down and kissed him softly before returning and taking his mouth in a slow, loving kiss.

They kissed at a leisurely pace, hands sliding over skin as they rocked against each other in the water, the heat building slowly. They were soon both hard and the pace of the rocking increased, drawing small gasps as they slid against each other. The friction was heaven and sent small shots of fire through them, but not enough to bring them release.

When he couldn’t take anymore, Louis dragged Harry out of the bath. They dried off and made their way to the bedroom.

Harry threw himself down onto the mattress face up, arms stretched above his head, putting his body on display for Louis and looking up at him through heavy lids. He watched as Louis stalked over to the bed, his heated gaze roaming Harry’s body hungrily.

Harry was also cataloguing every detail of Louis’ beautiful body as he made his way toward him, drinking in the sight of him and licking his lips, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth.

Louis was staring at Harry, laid out naked on the bed, every inch of him crying out to be touched and Louis’ fingers itching to reach out.   He crawled up the bed and over Harry’s body, a predatory look on his face. He paused for a single moment, Harry’s beauty leaving him breathless, before he plunged in, claiming Harry with his mouth.

They were both on fire, clawing at each other and letting their hands roam freely. When Louis worked down Harry’s body, taking his shaft into his mouth, Harry needed more.

“Lou, turn around, need my mouth on you” he commanded, breath coming in heavy pants now.

“God Harry, yeah..” he breathed as he spun his body around, wrapping his lips around Harry once more as he leaned forward. His cheeks parted as he did, and Harry’s hot breath ghosted over his hole before he felt Harry’s large hands push his cheeks further apart and his tongue lick over the puckered muscle. He sucked at the spot before pushing his tongue in, thrusting in and out as Louis’ sucked on his throbbing cock.

Louis let out a low moan as he sucked Harry, the vibration travelling up Harry’s spine and causing him to shudder, he increased his pace and intensity and Louis thought he may explode from the sheer pleasure of it.

The worked each other frantically and Louis started rocking back onto Harry’s tongue as he pulled off.

“God Harry, I need you in me, need you to fuck me baby” Louis croaked out. He lifted himself off and spun around to reach for the lube. Harry rolled them so he was on top and coated his fingers, the first sliding in easily and Louis sighing as he pumped in and out.

“Shit yeah Harry, aaaagghhhh….God I need you so bad babe!” he gasped.

Harry added a second finger quickly, crooking them both to brush Louis prostate, drawing a long moan from him. Harry looked down at Louis as he added the third finger, watched as his back arched up off the bed and he cried out, throwing his head back. He’d never looked more beautiful to Harry than right at that moment.

Louis urged him to hurry up and Harry didn’t need to be told twice, his aching cock twitching. He removed his fingers and slid into Louis slowly, inch by heavenly inch, until he was buried fully. He groaned with pleasure at the tight, wet heat.

“Fuck Lou” he panted out “love being inside you, so tight baby, so perfect.”

Louis whimpered and lifted his hips, urging Harry to move. A shot of pure desire shuddered through Harry and he pulled out and thrust back in on a choked cry, his hips moving of their own accord. He increased his pace gradually, until he was driving into Louis again and again, until they were both senseless with desire.

Harry was close, he knew Louis was too. He reached down between them to grasp Louis’ length and give it a few swift tugs. Louis was letting out a shattered cry, coming all over his torso as Harry felt his climax hit him full force. He trembled as he came, Louis holding him through it.

They lay side by side as they came down, hands joined and breathing evening out.

“They say sex becomes more mundane after you get married – no sign of that yet!” murmured Louis drowsily and grinning at Harry.

Harry chuckled. “Well I somehow think we’ll be OK, but whatever happens – I’d rather vanilla sex with you than any sex with anyone else baby.”

Louis laughed and snuggled into his side, head on his chest. “Like sex with me would ever be vanilla!” he scoffed, before drifting off to sleep, sated and blissfully happy.

 

XXXX

 

The guests started arriving fairly early - mostly Harry’s extended family, but also a few celebrities, such as Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift and of course, Alan Carr. Ed was actually a groomsman, which Louis still couldn’t get over – he was a huge fan of Ed’s and still got a little starstruck around him. Harry had also invited some of the One Direction team, including Lou Teasdale, her husband and daughter and Paul and his wife.

When the time for the ceremony arrived, Dot and Ernie knocked on the door, both dressed beautifully – Ernie in a tux and Dot in a flower girl dress.

“Look at you two!” Louis smiled “don’t you look beautiful!”

Dot twirled in her dress and Ernie stood proudly with his shoulders back.

“Wow munchkins!” added Harry as he came out of the bathroom. “You scrubbed up well!”

“You look good too Papa!” giggled Dot. “You and Daddy look beautiful.”

Harry smiled softly at Louis and answered “Daddy sure does.”

Anne interrupted then, telling them to hurry up and get to the church. “Some of us have been waiting a _very_ long time to see this! Let’s go already!”

XXXX

 

Harry and Louis stood at the altar with the Vicar and watched as their bridal party made their way down the aisle.

Ernie and Dot came down first, holding hands and throwing rose petals on the ground as they walked. Harry and Louis were grinning as they watched them proudly marching down the aisle like they’d practiced. Harry gave Dot a wink as she went past and she giggled.

Daisy and Phoebe followed together. Niall then accompanied Lottie, with Zayn escorting Fizzy and Ed escorting Gemma.

The ceremony flew by quickly and in no time, they found themselves asked to say their vows. Harry turned to Louis and spoke first.

_“Lou, I’ve lived with you in my life and without. I have known the pain of losing you and I have known the joy of finding you again. I know now that my life would never be whole without you in it. I choose you as the partner to share my journey and I promise here and now that I will continue to choose you every day, for the rest of our lives. You never fail to take my breath away and you never fail to make me fall more in love with you every day. Thank you for sharing your precious family with me and allowing me the privilege of calling them my own. I love you more than words could possibly say and I pledge you my heart, my soul and my life, today and forever.”_

He slipped Louis’ ring on and then Louis wiped at his teary eyes before taking a deep breath.

_“Harry, I’ve known such deep sorrow in my life that I sometimes wondered if I’d ever know true happiness again. You came back into my life and it was like the sun was shining for the first time in so long. You brought so much joy, love and laughter with you and I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve given me – given all of us. You give so selflessly and I am in awe of your endless supply of love and patience. You are my true companion – the one I choose to share this journey with. I love you with everything I have and I will love you till my last breath.” He took a steadying breath before going on. “I know, that Mum had a hand in bringing you back to me and I know she and Dad are watching from up there as I pledge you my heart, my soul and my future for today and for always.”_

Harry sniffled and gave him a watery smile as he slipped on the ring.

They were then pronounced husbands and invited to kiss. Harry gave Louis a shit-eating grin before grabbing him and dipping him backward in a smooth dip, kissing him soundly to the whistles and cheers of the congregation. When he pulled him back upright, Louis was grinning like an idiot and Harry was looking inordinately proud of himself.

 

XXXX

 

When they made their way to the marquee, it was lit up with fairy lights and sparkling with crystal and white linen. There were flowers absolutely everywhere and the sight was impressive.

The meal was equally impressive, the menu a six course extravaganza, delivered while the speeches were given. Liam’s speech was heartfelt and earnest and Niall’s speech was mildly inappropriate and typically hilarious.

When it was time to cut the cake, the boys posed with the knife for all the appropriate pictures, before Harry took a handful of cake and smashed it into Louis’ mouth. He then proceeded to lick it off, both of them laughing.

When they took to the floor for their first dance as a married couple, Ed appeared with his guitar.

“Harry and I wrote a song especially for today and I’m honoured to have been asked to sing it for you Louis.”

He proceeded to sing a song about growing old together and loving each other still and Louis may have shed a small tear, but he’d never admit to it.

The dancing then got a bit more energetic as the music changed and the guests let loose.

Louis was sitting in Harry’s lap as they took a break from the dance floor and they watched Ernie and Dot dancing with Gemma and Ashton, who had really hit it off at the wedding. As Ashton twirled Dot, Louis sighed.

“Look how big they’re getting Haz” he said forlornly. “Our babies are growing up! They’re nearly six now.”

“I know” agreed Harry sadly “they don’t even creep into our bed anymore – I miss that!”

“Well, let’s not be too hasty to miss that” Louis laughed. He looked back over as Ernie tried to spin Gemma and added softly “I’m not going to know what to do with myself when they go back to school.”

“Well” replied Harry “first you are going to take some very well deserved time for yourself.”   He started nervously picking at his shirt then as he added “After that – if you really miss having babies, well maybe we should think about expanding the family just a little more.”

Louis looked at him, grinning. “Do you mean it? Could we really?”

Harry smiled softly at him. “Why not? I always wanted a big family.”

Louis’ eyes misted over as he whispered “Team Tomlinson-Styles”

Harry grinned. “Team Tomlinson-Styles.”


End file.
